If you don't make it then I'll show you, I won't buy it!

[JustADude]

Me: Ok, I'll make you a deal. You send two guys here that are CAPABLE of picking up a ONE TON table and gently sitting it down on its side to fold it, and I will not only make them, I'll make them for free.

How about Mariusz Pudzianowski and Zydrunas Savickas? You'd have to carve hand-grips in for the 'set down gently' part, but I'm pretty damn sure they could pull it off.

[jerkface11]

A 4 inch thick slab of stone 4x9 feet would cost WAY too much for a table.

[Ironclad Alibi]

A customer comes to me with their idea. They want a 4" thick stone table, and they want it held up with these spindly little metal folding stick legs. Just as an FYI, IF you can find someone that will make 4" thick stone, it weighs about 61.5 lbs per square foot. With a 4' x 9' table that they wanted that means that the table top alone weights 2214 lbs. The table legs that they wanted to use have a manufactures rated weight limit of 50 lbs per leg. So, they would need 45 of those legs under a 4x9 table.

Here is the kicker. They wanted the tables to FOLD. So, think about taking down a folding table. You pick up your ONE TON stone table, sit it on its edge, then fold up the 45 legs.

Physical impossibility aside, how much would that monstrosity cost? And would they be willing to pay it?

[portia911]

I think you'd have to ask The Doctor about that kind of technology...

No! I demand he make me one! And I want a weeks turn around on it as I want to take it to Thailand!

[XCashier]

Bob, can you make me a portable foldaway office that fits into a breifcase and can also double as a luxury vacation cottage? That would be so neat. I woud love one.

I think you'd have to ask The Doctor about that kind of technology...

[portia911]

Bob, can you make me a portable foldaway office that fits into a breifcase and can also double as a luxury vacation cottage? That would be so neat. I woud love one.

[Arm]

Also, ignoring the problem of how brittle stone is, you can figure the approximate weight quite simply by dividing. 4" is 2200 pounds, 2" is 1100 pounds, 1" is 550 pounds... You'd have to mill it down to the thickness of paper to get it under a hundred pounds, what with the legs and all.

A stone table that size is never going to be what normal people would consider 'portable'. Even a *normal* folding table that size, made out of wood, is best handled as a two-man lift.

[Tutorgal]

im curious to know, could you hollow out the underside of the table so that it appeared to be 4" stone but in reality only be about 1/2 to 1" thick? and would that have been more feasible that what they wanted? not that a folding table like that would be smart in the first place. just my morbid curiosity getting the better of me

Even if the weight/legs issue were suddenly resolved, it wouldn't work. Stone can actually be surprisingly fragile. Long thin pieces have a nasty habit of breaking in the center. I work in a museum now and the other week the art packers had to move a long rounded piece that was hollowed out, kind of making a very long half tube shape. And the stone was a good 1.5 or so inches thick, 2 towards the top. There was great concern about carrying it, even with someone bracing the center. The table would probably end up breaking at the center. And it would still be really heavy.

That being said, stone tables are just gorgeous, and I'm also boggled by the fact that someone would want to ruin the look with spindly little folding table legs.

[Polenicus]

That's... got to be the most bizarre request I've ever heard.

I've helped contractors put stone countertops in when my parents rennovated. They weren't that thick, and they weighed a TON, even with a whole bunch of us helping to move them. They were also worth a fortune.

I can sorta maybe understand someone wanting a stone table. I might even let the 4 inch thick part slide. But... why on EARTH would they want it on folding legs? Stone is something you put somewhere, and then move when you demolish the house, and not before. I doubt this person has any concept of what they're dealing with.

Unfortunately, this guy's mind seems made up. The only way to possibly change it is to take him down and show him how heavy stone is, and then give him an idea how heavy his table would be. But this isn't even the customer, he's ordering this for his client... so logic is immaterial as long as he makes the sale, I guess.

I's an unfortunate tendency that when what someone imagines doesn't mesh with reality, they will demand it anyway.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I have to say I feel kinda bad for the middleman who the OP spoke to.

It wouldn't have been a good career move for him to bust out laughing at what his client wanted him to obtain, even though it desperately needed to be done.

[XCashier]

They want a 4" thick stone table, and they want it held up with these spindly little metal folding stick legs.

I didn't even get any further than the above quote without going Anybody with an ounce of common sense knows that stone is freaking heavy. Maybe -- just maybe -- you could make a lightweight plastic replica that looks like stone without the weight, but as xaenon pointed out, it would still look ridiculous on spindly folding legs. Big, thick solid legs, maybe, but not skinny folding legs.

[Bright_Star]

Was that for real?? I mean, who'd be stupid enough to want a table that weighs a ton & then want itty bitty legs to hold up that monstrosity? I'd love to see that constructed only to laugh my ass off as it collapsed from all that weight the 1st time it was set up.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I ask again, what is it about office furniture that turns people into complete morons?

[JLRodgers]

I don't know about anyone else.... But I wouldn't wat a folding table that weighed much more than 40lbs.

[xaenon]

That's exactly what I was thinking....I've seen concrete coffee tables built in that manner (or formed I guess, since it was concrete).

Still seriously heavy, but would reduce the mass by a heavy percentage.

Even with this 'weight reduction' program, the mass would be too much for the spindly little legs to support. Also, the lack of material in the center of the table would make it hideously fragile. Of course, I'm not an engineer or designer, but I can see this table, if built as requested, collapsing and killing or seriously injuring someone. And it doesn't take much imagination to visualize the lawsuit that would result.

The guy trying to order this monstrosity is delusional, pure and simple. He has no concept of the sheer weight of the thing he's asking for. The fact that he wants folding legs on it indicates to me that he thinks two to four people are going to be able to lift and carry it, which in turn tells me he has no idea that stone is HEAVY. Those metal and plastic folding tables are flimsy enough, can you imagine how bad THIS thing would be? I wouldn't get within a hundred feet of it.

And you know what? Even if it could work, it would look ridiculous. A huge heavy slab of stone propped up on four skinny little legs.

I don't think the OP was wrong in telling this guy he was dreaming. Seriously, people like this schmuck really do need a wakeup call.