If you don't make it then I'll show you, I won't buy it!

[cinema guy]

Why do they need the legs to fold? My guess is they are druids* and planning to use it as an altar on the solstice.

Druid SC: "Now tie the virgin sacrifice to our portable altar."
Table creaks and groan. Legs bend and... CRASH! Virgin pulls free and flees into the night.
Druid SC: "Ah, Hell! ... I mean, oh goddess!"




*Yeah, I know, Druids don't sacrifice virgins.

[tendomentis]

im curious to know, could you hollow out the underside of the table so that it appeared to be 4" stone but in reality only be about 1/2 to 1" thick? and would that have been more feasible that what they wanted? not that a folding table like that would be smart in the first place. just my morbid curiosity getting the better of me

That's exactly what I was thinking....I've seen concrete coffee tables built in that manner (or formed I guess, since it was concrete).

Still seriously heavy, but would reduce the mass by a heavy percentage.

[SteeleDragon78]

im curious to know, could you hollow out the underside of the table so that it appeared to be 4" stone but in reality only be about 1/2 to 1" thick? and would that have been more feasible that what they wanted? not that a folding table like that would be smart in the first place. just my morbid curiosity getting the better of me

[One-Fang]

Bob did start off explaining why it's impossible, and from the words used it appears the customer is someone else, this was a middle-man. Nobody was directly insulted here, at least not without them having persisted past the point of stupiditude.

[greensinestro]

While that's a pretty entertaining thread, mainly with having to have 45 legs to fold a stone table, I think you could have handled this better. Telling the customer they are dreaming was probably uncalled for, let alone challenging the customer to having two men pick up this heavy table and offering to build it for free could have been left out. Some people have crazy ideas and all one would have to do is politely explain why it is impossible.

[auntiem]

If they hadn't hung up I would have said send them to me. I'll get to building that table after I'm done putting in the airstrip on a remote South Pacific island, building the swim up bar at a Mexican resort and lest we forget - installing A/C into the condo in Maui.
What is with these people?!

[bob the goat]

I help customers design custom furniture that is something that we can manufacture, and that is something that they can afford. People seem to forget that without the last two tidbits in that sentence, then the first one is pointless. So, if I design something that we can't make, then my design is useless. If I design something that they can not afford then my design is useless.

A customer comes to me with their idea. They want a 4" thick stone table, and they want it held up with these spindly little metal folding stick legs. Just as an FYI, IF you can find someone that will make 4" thick stone, it weighs about 61.5 lbs per square foot. With a 4' x 9' table that they wanted that means that the table top alone weights 2214 lbs. The table legs that they wanted to use have a manufactures rated weight limit of 50 lbs per leg. So, they would need 45 of those legs under a 4x9 table.

Here is the kicker. They wanted the tables to FOLD. So, think about taking down a folding table. You pick up your ONE TON stone table, sit it on its edge, then fold up the 45 legs.

Me: No, no, no...that is not possible. Stone weighs WAY too much to do as a folding table, even if it were a thin top. We would not do a 4" thick top even with our large heavy duty bases.

SC: But that is what the customer wants.

Me: Then tell them that they are dreaming.

SC: Have you never heard that the customer is always right?

Me: Ok, I'll make you a deal. You send two guys here that are CAPABLE of picking up a ONE TON table and gently sitting it down on its side to fold it, and I will not only make them, I'll make them for free.

SC: You don't have to be rude. You are being disrespectful, I may just go to another manufacturer.

Me: Please do! While we will not refuse any business that is feasible, if you were to send this business to our competitors it will hurt them financially to attempt making it.

SC: That's it! I refuse to buy this table from you.

Me: Huh?

SC: If you don’t do what I ask then I won't buy this table from you!

Me: That is exactly my point.

SC: Huh?

Me: You are asking me for something impossible. I'm telling you that we can't make it so you can't buy it from us, and you respond by threatening to not buy it from us?

They hung up.