The dumbest questions from customers

[Antisocial_Worker]

My favorite dumb question exhange -- and it's a good thing it's my favorite, because I go through it hundreds of times each tourist season -- goes like this:

Me: My lowest available rate for tonight is blah ($89.95-$109.95).
Them: What?! Why are the rates so high? (Stupid question no. 1)
Me: It's tourist season.
Them: Tourist season? (Stupid question no. 2) What's there to see around here?! (Stupid question no. 3)

Typically, questions 2 and 3 are spoken in a nasal whine, as though the potential guest is the long lost sibling, or possible love child of Fran Drescher.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

A stupid question I get asked often when I'm carrying out furniture is "Can you come home with me and put it together?"

I've thought of winking and answering "All right, let's go" when the customer is an attractive female.

[CrankyPants]

I had someone ask me the stupidest question I have ever had to receive.

I was working in the cigarette lane at work. Their purchases were 4 packs of cigarettes and some beer.

Me: Total is $12.95.
Woman: *looks shocked* $12.95? Why?
Me: *stares* Because that's what it rang up as.

I really didn't know what to say to that. I mean come on...four packs of cigarettes and beer isn't going to be under $10.

Wow! That's cheap for all those items.

Here in Australia, a pack of cigarettes is about $10.00 on it's own!

[Spiffy McMoron]

A stupid question I get asked often when I'm carrying out furniture is "Can you come home with me and put it together?"

I've thought of winking and answering "All right, let's go" when the customer is an attractive female.

Yeah, but the problem is the people who ask that often have either questionable hygiene, or are old enough to be God's Grandmother.

[Amalthea]

At my grocery store, part of the 'superior service' shtick is that we have to ask every customer if they found everything they needed. Some of their responses are truly idiotic, but they think they're being funny.

Ugh. I ask "Did you find everything alright?" when I'm the cashier, and the most common response is "I found a little TOO much." Ha ha. HILARIOUS.

[Dreamstalker]

That's Ricotta cheese. You can tell by the way it's cured and hard. (actually, that's a styrafoam block holding up the chedder cheese. I've not replinished it yet.)

Now, how many of the geniuses who said that actually tried to buy the styrofoam?

[Sofar]

Here in Australia, a pack of cigarettes is about $10.00 on it's own!

That's what you get when you stop using pennies. Inflation. I was once talking to an Australian tourist, and she was geniuniely surprised that we still used pennies. I told her that not only do we still use pennies, but we still use ha'-pennies and farthings. She also found it strange that our ten-penny coin was smaller than our five-penny coin, at which point I was tempted to tell her that our half-dollar is smaller than both.

[Becks]

Here in Australia, a pack of cigarettes is about $10.00 on it's own!

I heard it's about that price in bars in Manhatten. (Not that I go into Manhatten, and besides, I get my smokey treats elsewhere.)

[Rapscallion]

*while working in the bakery department*

Idiot: Can you take the rolls from the front of the case where I am & not the back where you are? They're fresher up front, because they do not get hit by air so much.

Me:

This reminds me of the Potato Man - he would often come in as we were packing up for the night (he lived across the road) for potatoes for his evening meal. We wondered what he was chewing at the time...

Anyway, despite there being a roll of bags directly above the potatoes, he invariably went to the dispenser at the back of the store. We assumed he thought the bags were fresher.

Rapscallion

[repsac]

Now, how many of the geniuses who said that actually tried to buy the styrofoam?

Someone stole it one time, only to return it with what looked to be a bite taken out of it.

[Mizzikiel]

I had a customer ask me once if the ice tea can went in the bin that had a picture of an ice tea can going into it, then he went to take it out of the garbage when I told him it did...

[Mighty Girl]

"Are you closing soon?" (As the gate is pulled two thirds down to discourage any shoppers from entering).