"I Don't Work Here" megathread

[bars.of.a.rhyme]

Why they think it is acceptable to approach me while I'm wearing cut-off jean shorts, flip-flops, and a t-shirt (obviously not working) is beyond me.

It's because you exist on earth to serve them. You don't have your "free" time or "off" time, because they are the customer and serving them is your JOB, it is what you get PAID TO DO, even if you aren't getting paid at the moment.

Believe me, they would call you at home if they got ahold of your phone number.

[stickycoins]

[QUOTE=Kusanagi]On topic threadjack:

http://www.improveverywhere.com/miss...?mission_id=57

I posted this on the board before the hack and I thought it was funny too. But most people here didn't take too kindly to it.

[scorpionf]

This happens to me all the time... I have no idea why, maybe I just attract the nutters.

Anyway, some of the more memorable ones:

- I was in K-Mart picking up some deodorant an lipgloss cause k-mart had the brands I like on special. (I was wearing jeans and a HBK WWE t-shirt). I was also in a foul mood this day.

SC: "Can you tell me where the kids clothes are?"
Me: "I do not work here"
SC: "Are you sure?"
Me: "I am positive"
SC: "Can't you tell me where the kids clothes are anyway?"
Me: "I do not know where they are, I do NOT work here lady"
SC: "I want to get my shopping done, why won't you help me?"
Me: "What a surprise, I am trying to get my shopping done as well"
SC: "I am going to tell your manager how bad your customer service is"
Me: "Go to hell"
2 minutes later, the SC returns with the manager in tow and points to me and says how unhelpful and ruse I am and she want disciplibary action taken. The poor manager was trying his hardest to laugh, and I just started cackling like a hyena!

- In Coles (not the Coles I worked at, and this happened when I was no longer working for Coles anyway). I was in the health food section picking up sunflower kernels, pine nuts etc...Wearing baggy jeans and a baggy t-shirt with a chicken holding a gun on it.

SC: (comes up with 2 different packs of dried apricots) "How much are these?"
Me: "I don't work here"
SC: "Can't you tell me anyway?"
Me: "My crystal ball is broken"
SC: "What is your name?"
Me: "Fairy Princess"
SC: "Show me your name tag"
Me: (turns to face her) "Are you still there, I thought I told you I didn't work here"
SC: "Why not?"
Me: "Well, why don't you get a job and work here then?" (walks away)

- In David Jones, and in DJ's appearance is of the utmost importance for the staff. I was buying bras, and I was wearing jeans and an old ripped t-shirt (I love the ripped clothes look).

SC: "I want to try this on" (waves a bra in my face)
Me: "Why not grab the PA and announce that to the whole store then?"
SC: "Where are the fitting rooms?"
Me: "Under the big sign that says Fitting Rooms"
SC: "Aren't you going to show me where they are?"
Me: "Nope"
SC: "Why not?"
Me: "Because I do not work here"
SC: "So you won't help me with a bra fitting?"
Me: "Hell no!"
SC: "Are you sure you don't work here?"
Me: "I am 100% positive I do not work here, I never have worked here, and I never will"
SC: "Can't you help me with my bra fitting anyway?"
Me: "If you do not go away, I will tell you exactly where you can fit that bra..."

[Knifeman]

I can't see why people could be so upset about the Best Buy thing.

Unless they were violating the maximum occupancy of that building(and from what I saw, they weren't), it really isn't a problem at all. Of course, the actual floor workers didn't mind it at all, from what I saw. Only the managorial self important pomps really freaked out and started screaming "Thomas Crown Affair!".

[Rapscallion]

SC: "So you won't help me with a bra fitting?"

The correct response in this situation is to pass her along to a balding, bearded colleague who has thick glasses and is rubbing his hands together to warm them up.

What? What? I'm allowed an easy one from time to time...

Rapscallion

[protege]

I got the "are you the paperboy" question one day while on my route. Some stupid woman nearly hit me with her car, so I flipped her off. She promptly threw it into reverse, dropped the window, and proceeded to bitch about how she'd "have my job for that." Being the smartass (or if you prefer, hehe) I am, I remember saying something along the lines of "no you idiot, I'm only dragging this wagon filled with papers along for the hell of it." She wasn't too pleased, but there wasn't much she could do about it--other than calling the paper's 1-800 number. Since I didn't give her my name or route number, there wasn't a damn thing she could complain about.

[theredbaron47]

In response to the Best Buy improv, I thought it was funny up to a point. Getting the store security involved and later on the police was taking it too far. I think it would have been a lot funnier if it were maybe no more than ten people (friends) who pulled the stunt. Eighty is way too far for a single store, in my opinion.

[Becks]

I appear to have some sort of undectable (to me, friends, family and other loved ones) scent that only SCs and various asshats can notice.

Nearly every place I step in to, people assume I work there. No matter what I'm wearing. I can be wearing my t-shirt that depicts Ralph Wiggum picking his nose to Victoria's Secret, and I'll STILL have people coming up to me, begging for help.

I just don't get it.

[Lord of the Waffles]

In response to the Best Buy improv, I thought it was funny up to a point. Getting the store security involved and later on the police was taking it too far. I think it would have been a lot funnier if it were maybe no more than ten people (friends) who pulled the stunt. Eighty is way too far for a single store, in my opinion.

Definitely. I think taking 80 people into a single store would make it bleedingly obvious. A small group of friends spaced far apart would work better, but alas, what do I know?

SC: "Can't you help me with my bra fitting anyway?"

I don't get why people still ask you for help! Stupid people! Doesn't that lady realize she's asking a total stranger to help her with her underwear!? (Well, employees are strangers too, but at least they're accountable at work )

[Acolyte]

I've gotten the 'do you work here?' thing so many times at the local game store that I was jokingly called the 'volunteer employee' for a while.
Granted, I can see why-I've helped numerous people log into the store's gaming LAN, offered more advice on the store's Game Workshop line then the average GW employee, and run gaming tournies in the store.
Most of the time, I don't mind-the main clients of the store are geeks, or parents buying for geeks, who are generally pretty polite.

[ringo]

I was at home depot looking for screws. Digging in the drawer to find the exact kind for my LCD monitor (which I brought with me for fitting). Had this guy ask, do you know anything about screws and stuff? I was like, I don't know a thing. Then this same guy or different guy as I was really looking for the screws not paying attention to anyone else, shouted out loud "Customer assistant needed in lane 14". Then asked me, are you just a merchandiser? I was like, I don't even work here. I didn't have an orange shirt or a vest. It was a blue green type shirt.

So that was my "Do you work here" story that I can remember

[Lace Neil Singer]

Had this a few times... do we retail slaves give off an aura or something?

Once, I was in New Look, looking at tops. I was in a bad mood, cuz I was PMSing, and dressed in a long black velvet skirt, black platform boots and a Marilyn Manson t-shirt. This girl came up to me, carrying a top and said, "I want my money back. This top's ripped." I glared at her and said, "I don't work here." She replied, "Are you sure?" I practically shouted at her, "I don't flipping work here, dumb ass! Do I look like I work at New Look?!" She backed away from me and went off to pester someone else, hopefully an actual staff member.

I'm not normally that bad tempered, but when I'm PMSing... lord help the person who bugs me.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I’ve been lurking here for some time and this thread is what moved me to pony up and register. I just had to tell this story.

I used to work at Kinko’s about a year ago. There’s a K mart between my home and the store I where I worked, so I would frequently stop off on the way home. My Kinko’s attire consisted of a light blue oxford and a pair of tan jeans or khakis. Sometimes a skirt. If you looked at me and decided this get up was “uniformy”, well, it had the word KINKO’S emblazoned across the right chest pocket. And since Kmart people wear bright red vests (I think), I do not look like a Kmart employee.

So it never failed to amaze me that EVERY time I went in there, I was accosted by people asking me for help. Sometimes, I’d get it multiple times per visit to the store. I really just didn’t get it. Never got anyone ask me “are you sure?” as many posters have. I’m not sure how I would even react to that level of stupidity. Probably say “Am I sure of WHAT?”

A couple times, it happened when I was just wearing ordinary clothes, so I’m not convinced it was the shirt, either.

So one day, I was in there, and I was headed to the registers, and I was thinking to myself, “oh, man. I made it through an entire shopping trip here without being accosted by a dimwit. Un freaking believable…”

About 6 feet away from me, a biker was sauntering toward the registers as well. He was a tall, broad shouldered, rough looking man with long, waist-length hair tied up in a graying braid. Black leather cap. Red t-shirt, torn, dirty jeans. Shiny black leather vest with flames all over it. Tattoos. Chains on his studded leather belt and heavy motorcycle boots. He had a collection of buttons and patches on his vest, one of which was quite large and said the word “F%#k” on it in big black letters.

As I was congratulating myself on a pest free shopping trip, another man stepped in front of the BIKER, and said, “Excuse me, do you work here?”

I sometimes hate to tell this story, because it sounds so unbelievable. Lemme tell you something. If I was gonna make up something, I’d make up something people would believe. But then, after reading the corn story on here, I feel like you all have seen this level of stupidity in action and can relate.

The biker looked down at the guy, sputtered a little, and blurted (not unkindly, but he was as flabbergasted as I was, I could tell.) “Dude…do I LOOK like I work here?”

“Um, well, I guess not.”

“No, I don’t work here.”

Guy shuffles off and I went over there and told the biker about what happens to me every time. He kind of laughed and gestured at himself, and said, “I’m a BIKER for crying out loud.”

I said, “yeah, I can see that.”

We had a good laugh over it. Sheesh! What is wrong with some of these people?

[RailroadMonster]

I know what you mean

I work in a grocery store and when people approach me when I'm off shift asking where something is I point vaguely toward the first few aisles and tell them that what they're looking for "should be down there somewhere."

[cougar_guy04]

At the lot job I work (wash the cars on 2 lots for a dealer), I usually get a truck off the lot to haul the hoses (200+ ft) and other stuff between lots. When I go to put the truck back in its slot, I'll occasionally get someone coming up, "We're interested in this Charger/Ram/Jeep/etc." I'm standing there in grungy shorts and cutoff T-shirt wondering how in the world I look like a salesman. I usually tell them that I willl go get S and have him come talk to them.

I wonder if I helped make a sale if they'd give me a commission