"I Don't Work Here" megathread

[Tejas]

Yesterday i was on set, and had a suit on as part of something my charicter is going through on ramsey street. anyway, i had 3 hours off, so i decided to go and order that laptop i have been lusting over (17 inch 2.16 Ghz Intel core duo Macbook pro for those who are into such things) I drove to the apple store and was looking at games first for my crappy laptop, and someone walked over with OS X Tiger in there hand and asked me if it would work with there G3 desktop. I said to them that i didn't work there, but it would.

they appologised, but i told them it was ok. In my experiance the people that work at some of the apple stores are halfwits. i can't wait for an apple owned store to open out here.

[moekosowl]

I had one of these just today.

Our heroine is at the customer service station of the u-check section of the local grocery writing a check.

Sucky customer comes up to me and says "Excuse me, where are *random item I've never heard of*

I say: "Um, I don't work here..." The cashier tells her what aisle the random item is on. Customer departs.

I turn to the cashier and say "You know, I guess a blue and white peasant blouse looks an awful lot like a red jacket and gray pants." She laughed.

[wagegoth]

First Time in Years

Since I left retail I seem to have lost the helpful vibe. But last night, while shopping at the sewing and crafts store, a woman suddenly said, "Where are the beads?"

I had my back turned, had a cart, and was comparing items. Obviously, I must work there.

I turned and said, "I'm sorry. I have absolutely no idea."

She looked startled, then said, "Oh, you don't work here."

I award her 2 points for dropping her request for help and leaving me alone.

[SuperDan]

a tank top that says "You don't need to look at my chest. These are not the breasts you're looking for. Move along"

Your Jedi mind tricks will not work on me

[ladydouji]

Might I ask where you got it? I would love to have one!

I got it at an anime convention, not sure if the seller has a website or not.

[Pagan]

a tank top that says "You don't need to look at my chest. These are not the breasts you're looking for. Move along"

Might I ask where you got it? I would love to have one!

[ladydouji]

A tank top that combines Star Wars and breast ogling.

Thanks, I love that tanktop and it's always fun to catch people reading it(even people who you know don't typically stare at chests) ^__^

[Jester]

I was at Bed Bath and Beyond, pushing a cart, wearing faux combat boots, red/black stripey socks, knee length black skirt and a tank top that says "You don't need to look at my chest. These are not the breasts you're looking for. Move along"

A tank top that combines Star Wars and breast ogling.

[Binky]

OMG YES....ALWAYS...when I worked at K-mart I used to go to the targetthat was on the floor below when I finished...Target wer red...I'm wearing BLACK....I have a jacket on, I'm holding a drink and a bag of food in my hand, with my bag slung over one shoulder, I'm looking at books and I get a customer come up to me and
SC: "do you work here??.....(I go to reply)...I've been waiting for AGES, are your just STANDING there doing NOTHING!!!"

Me: ummmm I don't WORK here

SC: YES YOU DO!! Don't LIE to me..I was JUST talking to you

(I had in fact talked to them...WHEN I was working IN K-mart....)

Me: Yes, but I don't work HERE! You spoke to me what I actully WAS at my work

SC: Can you help me anyways?

Me: NOPE..and I walk off

I've also got the do you work here? and I'm STANDING BEHIND the counter, with a apron on stating the name of the complex, and I've just finshed wit ha customer..."umm no I don't, I just really liked the apron and decided to wear it everyday, and I'm just looking into the regester to see how much money they have here...." MORON

[ladydouji]

I had my first "do you work here?" today. I was at Bed Bath and Beyond, pushing a cart, wearing faux combat boots, red/black stripey socks, knee length black skirt and a tank top that says "You don't need to look at my chest. These are not the breasts you're looking for. Move along" Woman comes up to me and asks "Where are your slipcovers?" My brain shortcircutted because all I could do was give her a "WTF are you asking me for?" look before she actually asked if I worked there. I said no and continued on my way, stiffling giggles.

[repsac]

Don't forget the "North Florida Territories." (South Georgia)

[Jester]

Where is this? US? UK? It ummmm.... sounds like a very interesting place.

It is a very interesting place. It is, nominally, in the U.S. I say nominally, because many people who are natives or who have lived her for awhile barely consider this a part of the U.S. I myself often tell people: "I have been to three countries: Mexico, the U.S., and Key West!"

One guess which one is the tropical island tourist mecca I live and work in.

[CrazedClerk]

I was in a Wal-Mart once wearing a light blue sweater, of course most Wal-Mart employees wear blue vests. A customer, I guess saw a blue mass and assumed and asked me questions about a certain product. I said I really didn't know much about. She replied "don't you work here?" and I smiled and said "nope, I was just trying to be helpful".

Now she was very courteous in how she asked, if the person had been an ass about it, I wouldn't have bothered.

[repsac]

I posted this anon on Retail-Sucks. (someone remind me to get a new password there).

This one occured to me some years ago while working as management in a retail store. First, some background. I worked for a company called "Moore's." I have no problem saying their name since the company was bought out last year. Now it's something entirely different. At the time, Moore's policy was for management to all wear the following "uniforms". Khaki's (I was the only person in the company allowed to wear cords due to a funky pant size), dress shoes, dress shirt (preferably with a T shirt), and a tie. This was standard save for once in a blue moon when we'd have a casual day.

Now, typically, I closed on Friday and Saturday. To be quite honest, Saturdays were my favorite closing days, usually ended up with overtime due to counting lay aways or something. Back to my story.

One Saturday night, I remember closing my store and heading off to home. We were closed Sunday, and I had Monday off for some reason. Halfway home, I remembered something I needed from Wally World; and since they were open 24 hours I opted to go then. Besides, at midnight at Wal-mart, you see some of the funniest things.

Walking through the door, I proceeded to head down in the general direction of toys. My idea, was to take a short cut to automotive, and maybe see if a girl I fancied was working. As I approached their pet dept, I heard this woman saying something to the effect of "Sir?" over and over. Looking around, I supposed she didn't mean me, and needed an associate to help. Shrugging it off I started walking away; only to have this lady grab my arm and pull back hard.

Looking at me with pure venom in her eyes she spat, "SIR! Don't walk away from me. I need help!" Disengaging myself from her I blinked. "Then find someone." I said testily. Needless to say, I do not like being grabbed. Turning to walk off again she grabbed, this time harder. "I NEED HELP!" she says again, gripping tight enough to leave marks.

Snatching my arm from the woman I said simply. "Leave me alone. Go find someone that works here." Apparently, she didn't hear that; or thought I meant that dept. Walking away, I soon found myself in the electronics dept talking to the store manager. (Ok, night manager. Same difference).

I was telling him what happened, and even getting a bit of a laugh out of it, when I saw her come around a corner. "Oh no. It's her." I said to him, to which the guy responded. "I'll take care of this." Yes, I knew what that meant. He had told me just prior to that, that if he could find out who it was, he would ban them from his store for assaulting customers. YAY! I was gonna get to watch the fun.

She waddled up with the dirtiest, ugliest, look imaginable. Pointing at me as her husband stood smugly behind her she screamed at the manager. "I want him fired! I'll never shop here again unless you fire him. I'm so and so, I know such and such. I've already called your customer service line."

Looking back at me, he winked, and then nodded. "I plan to do something about it." he said to her, to which she beamed at me. Looking at her he gestured one of the other managers over and dropped the bomb. "Escort these people out of the store after you take their picture with the polaroid. If they're seen in here again, I want them arrested for criminal tresspass."

This seemed to take the wind from her sails. She and her husband started on, talking about how bad Wal-mart was and such. Clearing my throat, I walked closer, pulled out my Moore's name tag and said quote. "I don't work here!"

epilogue:

Speaking with that manager recently, he told me that she had called the customer service line. At first the manager got a real berating from his boss until he told the whole story.

He works for another company now, but I often wonder if that woman and her husband ever shopped at Wal-mart again. Further, I wonder if every time they ask for help, they ask first "Do you work here?"

[air914]

"Well, how am I supposed to know what you people do?"

I think I might have wanted to ask her what people would that be, exactly? Seeing as how I didn't work there and all. What a clueless moron.

Totally what I was thinking!!! I'd be like "excuse me, and just "what people" is that??" - Sounds like she's someone who hasn't ever worked and is saying "you people" like "you people that have to work for money when i just got it handed to me and inherited"