"I Don't Work Here" megathread

[Twotall]

My story:

A couple of months ago, I was in my local grocery store. Now, all the employees there wear apple green uniforms with the store's logo displayed on the front and back. I was walking around wearing a black fleece jacket, black pants, backpack slung over my shoulder and carrying a plastic basket full of groceries. As I walked by the cooler where the water was displayed, a middle-aged woman wearing FAR too much jewellery looked at me, and asked:

SC: Is there any plain water left? I can't find any...
Me: Excuse me? Plain water...?
SC: Yes, without any flavouring, bubbles, or anything like that.
Me: *scans cooler* No, can't see any. Looks like they're sold out.
SC: Is there more in the back?
Me: Possibly, I wouldn't know.

At this point, she left in a huff ( ), headed straight for the registers, where she encountered an actual employee:

SC: I wanted to know if there was any more plain bottled water in back, and that man (indicates me) refused to help me!!!
Employee: That's because he is a customer, he does not work here... Now, why don't I go check...

[Boulder_Bear]

So today, after my shift at the outdoor bar, feeling a bit sweaty, I did what I often do in that situation....I went to the clothing optional pier/bar/pool/sundeck. (This town is JUST a bit different from most!)

Where is this? US? UK? It ummmm.... sounds like a very interesting place.

[Jester]

I know my favorite web cartoonist has been very happy with Warehouse 23 (www.warehouse23.com). I myself have no clue about them, but he seems happy, and he has tried other places, including Cafe Press.



TOMORROW STARTS MY VACATION! NO MORE ASSHAT SUCKASS CUSTOMERS FOR A WEEK!

[Kiwi]

I rather liked my cafepress sweatshirt, I still have it, I cant wear it though because I ordered a medium and it comes down to my knees... and you can fit 3 of me inside it

Im sure there is an alternative Raps, it will all turn out alright in the end

[Rapscallion]

That's where the UK thing comes in. Have you seen the cost of trans-Atlantic postage? Let's not forget limited time :/ That's why I'd be far more interested in something based in the US.

Rapscallion

[Jester]

Proof that customers will believe anything....

So today, after my shift at the outdoor bar, feeling a bit sweaty, I did what I often do in that situation....I went to the clothing optional pier/bar/pool/sundeck. (This town is JUST a bit different from most!) So, jump in the pool for a bit, get out, and am hanging out at the bar in just a towel talking to the bartender, who I know, and a couple of customers who were there. Ms. Bartender was out from behind the bar, involved in the conversation, as nothing much was going on. I should point out that everyone else at the bar was fully dressed, I was the only one in a towel.

Two obvious tourists walk in, and Ms. Bartender says to me, "Jester....pretend you're the bartender!" I protest that I am JUST WEARING A TOWEL! "Come on, they won't know the difference." What the heck, right? So, wearing only a small towel, I give the guys a friendly greeting, and attempt to sell them drinks. They are only looking around, checking the view (it's right on the ocean), etc., etc. We banter a bit, exchange chit chat, yada yada, and they leave....and they never ONCE questioned the bartender dressed only in a towel.

Now, I wonder if that would have worked if I had tried it in a place that was NOT clothing optional. Hmmmm.....


TOMORROW STARTS MY VACATION! NO MORE ASSHAT SUCKASS CUSTOMERS FOR A WEEK!

[Knifeman]

Me too.

I want the site steady and with a decent front page before I look at things like that. I'm somewhat hampered by being in the UK when the main audience is in the US.

If anyone has suggestions - Cafepress is expensive, but one option - let me know.

Rapscallion

Find or contact a local screenprinter.

Cafepress's quality is horrendous. By going local, you can ensure quality and quantities. Maybe more expensive to start up, but far better in the long run.

As a graphic designer who has worked in screenprinting for a time myself, trust me when I say talking to a local screenprinter is far better a decision than trusting print on demands.

[appliance god]

I apolgise as this story is kinda long..

I think that there is an aura around customer service employees that mark them out to others as being helpful no matter what the extenuating circumstances might be. No matter how many indicators there are that a person does not work in a particular area, or has no relationship with the desired function a customer wishes him or her to perform, there is something about us which draws the SC to us at what can be the most inappropriate moment.

This actually happened...

I was in the middle of a fantastic world trip....in fact I was in Zanzibar, off the coast of Tanzania where my wife and I were engaging in a little sightseeing. We felt safe having been told that crime was not a real problem when some little hoodlum grabs my wifes bag and runs off with it, complete with credit cards, travellers chqs and about $200 USD.

Now have you guys seen those movies with settings in Arab towns with very narrow stone streets. Zanazibar is very like that. So this little twerp runs off with me in hot pursuit. I finally corner the guy in some random building and proceed to beat the snot out of him till he gives up the location of where he stashed his booty. Now normally I'm a very placid guy and not prone to violence but it would be fair to say this guy got a fair ass-kicking.

While checking the bag this guy takes off.

Next thing the local police arrive and think I've been stabbed. A fair assumption as I now have a large amount of blood down my right leg. None of it is mine. I refer you to the ass-kicking mentioned earlier.

The police want me to go down to the station to make a statement, so we walk down to the station.

Imagine this. There is a procession. My and my wife, not a little shaken, me with blood all down one leg, my grey shorts half covered in blood, escorted by three local policemen.

An American walks up to me and asked if I spoke english.

I said Yes.

He asked me if I knew of any good places to eat at.

[Lehk]

Me too.

I want the site steady and with a decent front page before I look at things like that. I'm somewhat hampered by being in the UK when the main audience is in the US.

If anyone has suggestions - Cafepress is expensive, but one option - let me know.

Rapscallion

cafe press is definitely the way to go, easy to design the shirts and you can set the price all the way down to "at cost" more importatnly if you don't need a premium shop it costs nothing at all to run or to do single run shirts.

[Rapscallion]

But sadly, I never did. I wonder if Raps is going to bring back the T-shirts?

Me too.

I want the site steady and with a decent front page before I look at things like that. I'm somewhat hampered by being in the UK when the main audience is in the US.

If anyone has suggestions - Cafepress is expensive, but one option - let me know.

Rapscallion

[Jack T. Chance]

The CS T-Shirt...

This reminds me... back on the old site, when Mr. Slugger was running the show, there was an official CustomersSuck.Com T-shirt with the following slogan on it:

NO! I DON'T WORK HERE!!!

I remember there being stories on the old board of grocery store employees wearing that shirt under their uniform, and taking off their uniform shirt/smock/whatever at the end of their shift, then walking around the store with the CS.Com shirt on while they did their personal shopping! I always meant to order one of those, and wear it on MY days off!

But sadly, I never did. I wonder if Raps is going to bring back the T-shirts?

[phoenix_rising]

Customers!

Well, here's my "Do You work here?" story. It's short, but stupid.

Every weekend, my family stays at a hotel in lower Ohio because we have a business down there. I went down 3 weekends ago and a group of college-age boys was there as well. I was in the pool area with my little brother (I'm 17) and I saw that there were teas in the main lobby. Me being a fan of tea, I went to look at them.
I was inspected the Chamomille when one of the college guys comes out to the front desk. I was just standing there in a pair of capris and a t-shirt and he asks "Do you work here?"
I look at him and politely say "No, I'm just looking at the teas."

I wonder how often these people think to just randomly ask anyone they see if they work there!

[0oAmericanGirl]

I've mistaken people in target if they're wearing a reddish shirt and khais, I always applogize. What I don't get is when you're in your work uniform that consists of a dark green vest and black pants.
One woman was trying to get somthing off the top shelf in target where it was clearly marked ask for assistance. I was on the isle in my work uniform and she looked at me and asked me to get a ladder or somthing. I informed her that I didn't work here and to that she responded," I know but I'm sure your manager would be proud of you for helping me out"... no he'd be angry that I took my full lunch break and went here instead of working through and helping him deal with his "I-want-a-bonus-so-I'm-cutting-hours-and-you'll-have-to-deal-with-it" mentallity.

[lordlundar]

It only happened before I started to work. I was happy and polite.

Now I exude this aura of "I will break your spine if you ask."

[SonOfSpam]

I've had it happen to me only a couple times; I'd be shopping at the place I worked at in my street clothes on my day off and some regular customer would recognize me from retail and ask me if I knew where such-and-such was. But it never turned into a big thing, I'd just point them in the right direction. I couldn't imagine wearing regular clothes in a Best Buy or Blockbuster and being bothered with questions, maybe SC's are smarter around my neck of the woods.