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Monty Python's Flying Circus presents: How Not To Be Se-er, I mean, Shoplift.

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  • #16
    "We didn't do it! The DVD's flew into our pockets on their own, seriously!"
    It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision.
    -Helen Keller

    I got this av from Court Records, made by Croik!

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    • #17
      Obviously I'm an idiot, but how can "A guy and his friend stuffed two DVDs in their pants" come to equal "We didn't do it!"???
      anyone else reminded of that song where the girl catches her man on video having sex with someone else, and he still says "It wasn't me!"

      And for sterilization, well the best way would be with an autoclave... it *would* kill whatever they had growing in the pants... but it might also melt the dvd

      Dead steam....
      Look, matey, I know a dead steam when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

      No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'! Remarkable steam, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful waters!

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      • #18
        Quoth edible_hat View Post
        The topic had me imaining something like this:

        [shoplifter runs for it]
        [explosion]
        [no more shoplifter]
        ...and that is the advantage of not being seen....
        I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

        Who is John Galt?
        -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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        • #19
          I think "live steam" refers to steam with some pressure behind it, as opposed to "kettle steam" which doesn't.

          There were some very early steam engines which used kettle-steam, and which actually relied on the vacuum left behind when the steam was condensed using injected cold water. They were incredibly inefficient, but it was an improvement over the massive teams of horses they used before that.

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          • #20
            Color me crazy, but I'm surprised the manager actually pushed the guy against the wall... isn't apprehending considered verboten in retail now?
            "I call murder on that!"

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            • #21
              Quoth Juwl View Post
              Color me crazy, but I'm surprised the manager actually pushed the guy against the wall... isn't apprehending considered verboten in retail now?
              Ask one of my former managers, who once face-planted a shoplifter to the pavement after a foot chase.

              He didn't shit around with shoplifters.
              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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              • #22
                Quoth PepperElf View Post
                anyone else reminded of that song where the girl catches her man on video having sex with someone else, and he still says "It wasn't me!"
                You mean this? It's by Shaggy.

                But she caught me on the counter (It wasn't me)
                Saw me bangin' on the sofa (It wasn't me)
                I even had her in the shower (It wasn't me)
                She even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)

                Quoth PepperElf View Post
                No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'! Remarkable steam, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful waters!
                I suppose you'd have me believing that it's pining for the fjords next?
                It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

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                • #23
                  Of course, the shoplifters only went into the store for an argument.

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                  • #24
                    yes that song

                    and yes! It's pining!



                    (heck had to put some MPFC in here somewhere!)

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                    • #25
                      Quoth Slytovhand View Post
                      Obviously I'm an idiot, but how can "A guy and his friend stuffed two DVDs in their pants" come to equal "We didn't do it!"???

                      What, someone else came in, nicked the dvd's, and then surreptitiously managed to reverse-pickpocket them into their pants??? AND they didn't notice them going in, yet have no problem getting them out without being surprised????
                      well you can do it with firearms in fallout 3 you can also do it with hand grenades but that makes a sticky mess everywhere

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                      • #26
                        Quoth Cyphr View Post
                        well you can do it with firearms in fallout 3 you can also do it with hand grenades but that makes a sticky mess everywhere
                        You know what else makes a sticky mess everywhere?

                        "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

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                        • #27
                          Quoth Gawdzillers View Post
                          The customer wallops the guy across the face for hitting a woman, and the manager and the bagboys throw the guy in the back of the manager's truck while the police are called.

                          And I missed it all.
                          I hope those two guys press charges against the customer.

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                          • #28
                            It wasn't me!
                            <snerk>

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                            • #29
                              Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                              Ask one of my former managers, who once face-planted a shoplifter to the pavement after a foot chase.

                              He didn't shit around with shoplifters.
                              Then come to the Litter Box and ask Goober and Opie about the time they and our Grocery Manager tackled a shoplifter not too long ago and had him pinned face down on the floor in front of the entrances waiting for the cops to arrive.

                              They don't play around either.
                              Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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                              • #30
                                Quoth Anriana View Post
                                I hope those two guys press charges against the customer.
                                Why? Because he smacked a shoplifter for hitting a woman?
                                "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

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