Monty Python's Flying Circus presents: How Not To Be Se-er, I mean, Shoplift.

[Gawdzillers]

Got to work yesterday to see two police cars parked outside. One of them was blocking the main way across the parking lot so that I had to play (and lose) Chicken with another car.

I get in, everyone starts talking at me: "Did you see what happened?" "Help us out here!" "Eric, we're still going to Hooters tonight, right?" (That last one's not important, but it was distracting to me nevertheless). I went back to clock in and got the story from one of my friends who was on break:

A guy and his friend stuffed two DVDs in their pants and were caught by T, one of our managers.

T: Take them out.
Dumbasses: *sheepishly pull the DVDs out*
T: Do you think I'm stupid or something?
DA: We didn't do it!
T: Ok, come with me. *she holds the DA against the wall and tells R to open the door to the manager's office*

DA #1 then hits T in the face and runs, with C and J, our bagboys, on his heels. They catch him and hold him by an arm each, while another manager and a customer who witnessed the incident confront him. The customer wallops the guy across the face for hitting a woman, and the manager and the bagboys throw the guy in the back of the manager's truck while the police are called.

And I missed it all.

[Darkwish]

Please tell me they have security cam footage of this you can post on youtube!



Oh, and I hope she was ok after getting hit. At least you know he's not going to be getting out of that one!

[Gawdzillers]

Please tell me they have security cam footage of this you can post on youtube!



Oh, and I hope she was ok after getting hit. At least you know he's not going to be getting out of that one!

I have no idea. There are security cameras everywhere, but I'm not sure if they have one pointed at the exact spot that it took place.

She was ok. In fact an hour later she came down and started joking about it. No bruise or any indication she was hit, either.

[BookstoreEscapee]

She was ok. In fact an hour later she came down and started joking about it. No bruise or any indication she was hit, either.

Geez, big tough guy can't even leave a mark..

[edible_hat]

The topic had me imaining something like this:

[shoplifter runs for it]
[explosion]
[no more shoplifter]

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"Eric, we're still going to Hooters tonight, right?" (That last one's not important, but it was distracting to me nevertheless)

One of my buddies at work got in a car accident on a trip to Hooters.

He was waiting to pull in and he got ass-ended by somebody and pushed into the car in front of him.

I wasn't along that particular time. That was definitely a costly trip to Hooters for him that time.

[Slytovhand]

Obviously I'm an idiot, but how can "A guy and his friend stuffed two DVDs in their pants" come to equal "We didn't do it!"???

What, someone else came in, nicked the dvd's, and then surreptitiously managed to reverse-pickpocket them into their pants??? AND they didn't notice them going in, yet have no problem getting them out without being surprised????

If you have the video, give them a copy, so that when they're old and grey, they can show it to their grandkids under "how not to be a complete moron" nights...

[Darkwish]

If you have the video, give them a copy, so that when they're old and grey, they can show it to their grandkids under "how not to be a complete moron" nights...

Please don't encourage idiots like that to breed. There's more than enough stupidity in the world without them passing it on to another generation. Keep the video to show to your own grandkids instead.

[Jack Doe]

After reading the op, I didn't get Monty Python as much as Benny Hill.

[Evil Queen]

She was ok. In fact an hour later she came down and started joking about it. No bruise or any indication she was hit, either.

She must be really good with applying makeup. Too bad you missed the show.

[Rapscallion]

Please don't encourage idiots like that to breed.

The real problem is that it's hard to stop them from breeding...

Rapscallion

[Geek King]

The real problem is that it's hard to stop them from breeding...

Not really, but site rules don't allow us to discuss the viable options involving lawn tools.

<pouts>

[wolfie]

Lawn tools? Forget that - idiots like the DVD thieves in the original post need to be sterilized using live steam.

[Pagan]

The real problem is that it's hard to stop them from breeding...

My friend has a theory on why there's so many stupid people.

Because smart people have figured out what happens when you insert tab A in slot B. So tab A needs to be covered up.

Lawn tools? Forget that - idiots like the DVD thieves in the original post need to be sterilized using live steam.

As opposed to dead steam? Sorry, I'll go take my silly mood somewhere else. *slinks off*

[Gabrielle Proctor]

I always miss the good stuff too! But Swordsman could fill a book with all of the awesome shit he gets to see!