From The Maw of Darkness

[Oberonsshadow]

3) They listened to your lungs with a stethoscope. But they did it from the back, not the front so now you are in mortal danger.

It's because Dr's need to listen to all 4 lung lobes and if you listen from the back, your heart isn't in the way. Really. But then you tell someone they have 4 lung lobes and they look at you as if you've grown another head...

You Can't Be Serious

SC: “Yeah, hi, I’m from <parkade company> and I’m at the parkade on <street>.”
Me: “Ok”
SC: “and the gate's closed now and I can’t get out.”

Yes, that’s right. The very people who own the parkade have just locked themselves in said parkade because they were unaware it closes at 11pm. Thus achieving a level of irony that the rest of us can only hope to aspire too.

I've locked myself out of my car and out of my house... neither of which top those. However my boss locked herself out of the hospital, which in and of itself isn't a big deal, but the lock that was locked was the dead bolt. We have no idea how she managed this...

At which point he will unfurl his magnificent plumage.

This caused me to violate rule number 1. Yes, out of everything I've read on this site, this is the first thing that caused sprayage. I don't know why this was it, but it was. Thanks to you, I now have Raspberry Ice Crystal Light all over my laptop and light colored sheets. And that stuff stains...

A pair of tiny, quivering little claws appeared and this small, grotesque rat like Hell goblin pulled itself loose from its bonds and repeated its caterwauling. I suppose that its mistress and some other misguided folk might classify it as a dog. But I have seen dogs before, and this was no dog. I don’t think this creature weighed even a full kilo. It was a tiny, writhing, bug eyed nether beast and I swear it does not belong in this or any world where the living walk.

I work with these on a regular basis... They really are evil incarnate. Just yesterday, we had one hospitlized that had no concept of how to walk on a leash. This rat was 6 years old and had to be carried outside and back inside, because if you put a leash on the damn thing, he threw himself on the ground. I almost expected him to need me to hold up his leg for him...

[Nurian]

SLOTH LOVE CHUNK.

You always have that one geeky joke that makes me burst out laughing.

I laugh because it hides the loathing at what I've become....

[Jester]

Such as? (just being curious)

Oh, the people that speak in netspeak (btw, lol, omg, etc.) sure come to mind.

I have a coworker that thinks these are funny and actually speaks in "lolcat" out loud at times.

Like that!

I don't generally repeat shift chatter here. Mainly because I have crafted mental images mid shift that have made my coworker go "....aw, awwwwww, dude, what the hell? Oh god. I hate you."

And...what. You think we won't appreciate it/be able to handle it here in CS Land?

[Broomjockey]

Like that!

Uh, dude, lolcat is "icanhascheezeburger." And frankly, yes, it is stupider than AOLspeak. AOLspeak started as compression, so it had a logical start, at least, even if it has grown to a ridiculous degree. Lolcat has absolutely no linguistic benefits other than to identify the user as a tool if used seriously, or excessively.

[GingerBiscuit]

*speaks in lolcat now and again*

*hangs head in shame*

I can't help it! I will be talking like a normal person and then someone will say something and my lolcat sensors will go off and I'll say 'lol I can has pen?' or something equally stupid. Help me! I can't make it stop!

[xaenon]

Ebil

Me: “Good evening, <comp-“
SC: “TELL ME YOUR FAX~!@~”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up a sec, Snidely. You’re going about this all wrong. Just shrieking demands at me won’t work. You have to say something like “Tell me your fax or the broad gets it!”. Than present said broad in a precarious situation such as tied to a railway track. At which point you need to twiddle your mustache. You did remember to take a hostage didn’t you? If you don’t have some sort of trump card I’m just going to hang up on you, you know.

You need to brush up a bit on this whole nefarious deeds thing.

Hey! How'd you know it was ME?

[Gravekeeper]

And...what. You think we won't appreciate it/be able to handle it here in CS Land?

Some of them would be questionable even here, heh =p

A few are more benign. I like getting him with something when other staff is in so he can't curse me to the Heavens outloud. For example, our system allows you to send IMs to other people in the office. We were both in one morning, the morning staff is in and one of the big bosses comes around and tells us she needs to do our quarterly reviews before we leave. ( We're night shift so its hard to catch us for these =p )

Her exact wording to my coworker, however, was "I'll do GK first, than I'll do you, ok?"

At which point I IM'd him "Hear that? You get sloppy seconds." and reveled in hearing the distance thud and low pitched whine as he cringed over his desk but could not squeal with big boss near him. ;p

[Becks]

She thinks whomever answers the line is me. Even if they sound nothing like me. She also stated that she "saw me" the other day than described someone that looks nothing like me. Whomever that man is, I pity him so much. At least I'm safe behind a phone line. But him, she knows his face.

Poor guy.

Poor you, too, of course.

And everyone else on the planet she comes into contact with.

She needs help.

[cawaker]

hehe I have to admit, I love lolcats. But I havent ever used the grammar in real life.

I think it's cute though like a little kid asking for something. I can think of much much worse grammar dialects that have spawned from the bowels of the internet.

My personal pet peeve is the lack of complete words, like text speak, U, R, 2, etc that drives me bonkers.

[Golden Phoenix]

It's rare i use "lolspeak" usually when feeling particularly lousy or particulalry "cute" (read annoying)

Ok, i'll knock it off with the silly language, now can i have alcaholic beverages?

[dalesys]

Haggling
I may have missed out on a magnificent northern bride. But I would have to pay $40 to have her shipped here and it would take like two weeks unless I wanted to pay for express.

The expensive part is the quarantine fees.

[NightWatch]

Can i has a cookie? I just this minute got dumped by my oh-so-delightfully deceitful boyfrined who has apparently been seeing his ex behind my back and asked her to marry him yesterday.

On second thoughts, no cookie. I can has vodka?

What a fucker. You don't deserve that. If it's any consellation, He'll never change and you're lucky you got out when you did.

It's because Dr's need to listen to all 4 lung lobes and if you listen from the back, your heart isn't in the way. Really. But then you tell someone they have 4 lung lobes and they look at you as if you've grown another head...

5... 5 lung lobes. That is why people look at you as if you've grown another head. Because humans have 5 lung lobes. (Yes I studied anatomy for a long time, why do you ask?)

[Oberonsshadow]

5... 5 lung lobes. That is why people look at you as if you've grown another head. Because humans have 5 lung lobes. (Yes I studied anatomy for a long time, why do you ask?)

*sheepish look* Oops... Well there are two options here. Both of which involve a moronic anatomy teacher. The 1st, animal and human anatomy isn't as similar as she tells us it is. 2nd, She was really really wrong, and told us 4 instead of 5 (We don't have to know the names, which is why I never looked into it further than that). Either way, I apologize for my mistake and appreciate your correction. That said, you may or may not be surprised by the amount of people who think there are only 2 lobes, left and right.

*goes off to stick head in sand*

[bloodrose]

Can i has a cookie? I just this minute got dumped by my oh-so-delightfully deceitful boyfrined who has apparently been seeing his ex behind my back and asked her to marry him yesterday.

On second thoughts, no cookie. I can has vodka?

I agree with everyone here and add he is a dick monkey. Yes, a dick monkey. And a bleeding coward. He kept you just in case the ex said no. If I had balls, they'd be 10 times bigger than his! I am so sorry you were used that way. There is no emoticon for "here is your bottle of vitamin V" so just assume a virtual bottle of vodka your way.
And a few insults for the road: he's a pig-ass dick monkey, crotch wipe, cling-on complete waste of carbon.
Hope the healing process is doing its work and you'll be better soon without him.

[NightWatch]

*goes off to stick head in sand*

It's true. Even more surprising how many people think that the lungs are hollow and sack like. Instead of the (somewhat) dense fleshiness. *Gives you a cookie for still being a smarty-pants McGee (that's a good thing)*