Wherein Fabulous Powers are Revealed to Me (epic)

[infinitemonkies]

no, that's just the hospitality we show to the distressed passenger

For everyone else, we smile, treat 'em like V.I.P.s and entertain thoughts of hooking up a canister of ether to the ventialtion system to make them shut the hell up and go to sleep.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

Hot Tips

The Problem:
Al-Qaeda, again

The Solution:
Hire the Dirty Dozen. Combine them with the “Jalapenos”. Have the CIA train them all. Deploy them randomly.

I’m not 100% sure, but I think the only member of the Dirty Dozen still alive is Donald Sutherland. Now, I will admit that he is a terrifying man of unquestionable evil and perhaps the most formidable Canadian alive still walking this earth short of William Shatner. However, he is something like 70 years old so I doubt dropping him from a plane into the mountains of Pakistan would be that good for his health.

Donald Sutherland could always bring his son along... I'm sure he could handle such a situation like that...

Hot Tips: The Revelation
( Just, wow. )

SC: “Hey, do you know how to guarantee you’ll get super powers?”
Me: “……”
SC: “If you like, burn money to Jesus. Like a burnt offering.”
Me: “……”
SC: “Like if you burn a $1 you can get ESP like me.”

Wait, that’s your explanation for all this tomfoolery? You gave Jesus a dollar in exchange for superpowers and now you think you possess ESP? Well, at least I finally know the answer to this 3 year long mystery you’ve kept us enthralled with. I guess that’s that than. The truth, at least. Hrmm.

You know, I feel oddly empty inside now. Like you’ve just ruined everything. Our time together just doesn’t feel special anymore.

Me: “…….”
SC: “or like a 10 or a 20 or a 50 or something.”
Me: “So if you get ESP for a $1. What can I get for a $20?”
SC: “….uh….I don’t know, try it and find out.”

…you couldn’t afford more than a $1, could you?

OK... if this guy has ESP, why doesn't he know that you live in CANADA and the Canadian Dollar (affectionately called the Loonie) is a COIN and not paper?

GK, for you, I plan on lighting up a fiver and ESPing this guy a migrane.

[Gravekeeper]

One is that he meant DC, as in Washington, D.C., which, while semi-close to Massachusetts, could hardly be qualified as "right next to" it. The second is that he meant BC, as in Boston College, which is IN Massachusetts.

Neither of which makes sense after declaring myself Canadian to him. -.-

Okay, let's look at what a pansy ass this "gangsta" is. A half of a forty made him "fuzzy." 20 ounces of malt liquor. For those who are not gifted at math, I will calculate it for you: 1 and 2/3 beers.

Hahaha. This kid was wobbly from it.

Holy shit... thank you for not sending that last fuckwad to my hotel

This was all Houston, so you were safe. ;p

[friendofjimmyk]

Relax, have a salt lick and sit tight. The tech will be with you shortly.

In your posts, there are always random lines that just crack me up! This was one of them!

I might steal this one eventually for my signature line.

[Jester]

Neither of which makes sense after declaring myself Canadian to him.

Dude, none of it made sense even if you hadn't told him you were Canadian!

[Seraph]

For his garb made him fly and ghetto and granted +300 Frost Resistance.

...Well now I know who to blame every time someone farks up the Sapphiron raid and we miss out on the Hundred Club achievement. ><

[Gravekeeper]

Dude, none of it made sense even if you hadn't told him you were Canadian!

Very true.

I have to be careful with my zeds. Every time I drop one on a caller from the south, southeastern US or especially a few select states I will not name. I always get this reaction like "Yew ain't from around re', are ya boy?". Than they act really suspicious for the rest of the call like I'm planning to steal their freedom, guns, and/or job and I can do all of this with their mailing address.

Dude, you're calling an international company. Wtf did you expect? You're lucky I'm at least on the same continent.

[SengaKitty]

GK, how are you not dead or in a loony bin by now? -sends cookies chocolate and beverage of choice, alcoholic or non-

[Jester]

GK, if you know they are from that area, and you know how they get, why don't you just say "zee" instead of "zed"? Humans are very adaptable, and you are a bright enough guy to do this.

Back when we moved to Arizona and I started working a new job, my mother heard me referring to soda as "pop." Being an East Coast woman, she chastised me for using that word, until I pointed out to her that many of my customers referred to it as pop, and I was merely adapting to better serve them. She had nothing to say about it after that.

So why can't you adapt as well? Unless you really enjoy torturing Bubba and Billy Joe......

[Gravekeeper]

GK, if you know they are from that area, and you know how they get, why don't you just say "zee" instead of "zed"? Humans are very adaptable, and you are a bright enough guy to do this.

We CAN'T. Don't you understand?

><

GK, how are you not dead or in a loony bin by now?

How do you know I'm not. >.>

They have internet access in there, don't they? If Fangirl can get a phone, I must be able to get wifi.

[Jester]

We CAN'T. Don't you understand?

No, I don't. As I am NOT Canadian, obviously. But I do find it amusing that you, a confirmed non-drinker, used a BEER AD to make your point.

(And yes, it very much was hilariously amusing when I was engaged to The Brit. The language alone made things very entertaining. Same language, but completely fucking different.)

[Slytovhand]

Firstly, thanks Jester for the conversion.. had me completely lost (but not as lost as the loser!! )

Secondly, do recall that there were a few other 'Dirty Dozen' "movies" done after the first, so there's a wider range of actors still alive! Ken Wahl for example. On that note, check this out - or, more specifically, the photo and caption on right.... (I love the bit about "Born February 18, 1925 (1925-02-18) (age 84) "... wow, he started out life old!!!! What - does he age backwards??)

Quoth Talon
Wait a minute, if you had made the save, wouldn't that mean you'd still be stunned, if only for 1-2 (1D4/2) turns?

No, saving against a status means you are not affected. If it had a damage effect, then saving would mean half.

Not necessarily... depends on what rules you're using. You can save for half length of time, or, instead of complete knockout, death or something similar, only be stunned... (not at home, can't check which). Which means, if GK hadn't saved, maybe there'd be no more weekly threads of merriment and mirth to keep us all going!!!! :gasp: :horror:!!!! (After all, he saved and was stunned for 1d4 turns - not rounds!! (a turn was 10 minutes)

[Gravekeeper]

No, I don't. As I am NOT Canadian, obviously. But I do find it amusing that you, a confirmed non-drinker, used a BEER AD to make your point.

Pssh, just because you silly yanks proounce it zee for some reason and took the U's out of everything doesn't mean the rest of us have too. ;9

Sides I may not drink, but I'm still Canadian, it would be odd if I didn't use a beer ad to prove my point.

[Jester]

Sides I may not drink, but I'm still Canadian, it would be odd if I didn't use a beer ad to prove my point.

Touche, my friend. Tou-fucking-che.

[crazylegs]

Same language, but completely fucking different.

Indeed it is... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btEpF334Rtc