Stupid Tourist Customer Questions

[ArenaBoy]

AF : (had to change all his Euros to Swiss Francs, so paid twice a change commission)

I live 30 minutes away from Windsor Canada and I go to Canada every now and then. I also keep at least $200 Canadian on me in case I happen to go into Toronto or Montreal. Windsor as far as I know will take US currency. However, living near Canada I sometimes end up paying in Canadian currency mixed with US which led to an embarrassing moment for me at some points when I go out of Michigan.

As for stupid tourist questions, I heard a few good ones when I was in Chicago. A person asking someone where a McDonald's was. I also recall a PFB letter where a guy complained about an Applebee's when he was in New York City. Hmmm, good unique food that you will remember for ages or cheap food that you can find anywhere?

[RaptorGirl]

How far to Alaska?

A friend of mine was working at a gas station one morning near the US border into British Columbia.
He had someone driving up from the States who asked him for directions to Alaska. He was a little rusty, given the tremendous distance, and the guy started getting madder and madder as he tried to give direction, saying that my friend couldn't be right.
It came out that the man had an afternoon meeting in Alaska, and was irate when my friend told him there was no way in hell he'd be in Alaska for at least another day or two.

Turns out he'd been relying on a map that was exclusively of the US, and had Canada in much smaller than usual size in order to be able to depict Alaska in more detail. It never occurred to him that Canada is, *gasp*, larger than a few states and in fact bigger than the US!

[auntiem]

The only way that would be even more funny is if his meeting was in Juneau - no way to get there by car - just air or ferry.
We get a lot of men that were driving to Alaska for work stuck here on this side of the border every summer after getting turned back at the border. DUI are felonies in Canada - doesn't matter how long ago it was - you can't enter with one on your record. I'm so glad we don't sell as many flights out of Vancouver anymore - I always hated asking clients if they had DUIs.

[infavorofnaturalselection]

Turns out he'd been relying on a map that was exclusively of the US, and had Canada in much smaller than usual size in order to be able to depict Alaska in more detail. It never occurred to him that Canada is, *gasp*, larger than a few states and in fact bigger than the US!

And the mere fact that Alaska was out in the water next to Washington State like Hawaii is depicated on some maps didn't indicate that the map may be a tad innacurate for planning his travels? There is another country you have to travel through but if it wasn't on the map you had who wouldn't think to get another map to show that particular country with the united states?

Plus driving up to Alaska from the states is not something that should be done without planning. You could die real easy on certain several hundred stretches of raods because there would be no gas stations nor would anyone spot your car.

It's like road crossing the states plan or die in the desert areas. When you actually do learn what needs to be taken on and how much to plan you can see why lots of settlers in covered wagons never made it and most them didn't die to Indians but the weather, or run out of water etc.

[infavorofnaturalselection]

!

Australia, what fun!

Ah yes those giant poisonous toads that are causing enviromental havoc must raise a lot of dumb tourist questions. Btw did you have to ever tell anyone that they shouldn't get close to a kangaroo in the wild because they could be kicked or punched perhaps to death?

Must also get lots of dumb questions about the aborgines.

[ContraCorriente]

I used to live in Myrtle Beach. Nuff said.

"How come the water's not blue, like in Florida?"
Umm... because this isn't Florida?

"Hello, <company name>."
"Yeah, I'm on 18th Avenue. How do I get to 25th?"
"Umm... go north seven blocks?"

[Athena]

Ah yes those giant poisonous toads that are causing enviromental havoc must raise a lot of dumb tourist questions. Btw did you have to ever tell anyone that they shouldn't get close to a kangaroo in the wild because they could be kicked or punched perhaps to death?
Must also get lots of dumb questions about the aborgines.

You can't get near kangaroos normally, they tend to hop away fairly fast. They're not actually vicious predators that chase tourist....hang on, there's an idea.
I live in Tasmania, a small island state right at the bottom of Australia. A few of the questions i've gotten have been:
Q: Do Tasmanian devils look like Taz the cartoon character?
A: Umm, NO. Real devils are small, stinky, snarly things that lack the ability to turn themselves into miniature whirlwinds.
Q: Can i drive around the island in a day?
A: What? No. Have you actually looked at the map? Without warp speed capability i doubt you're going to make it.
Q: Why are the fishing boats still at the wharf?
A: Because it's blowing a gale, literally. There's waves of something like three metres out there.
His response to my reply was, "So? They still go out, i've seen it in the movies.
What movie? The Perfect Storm? They all DIED. Le sigh.
I've never actually gotten a question about aborigines, strangely enough.

[MCSledgehammer]

In Colorado:
(In August) So what's the best skiing around here?
It's August. It's in the 90's. Seriously.

(In the middle of downtown Denver) Where are the mountains?
West. We have a mountain range. The entire state is not covered in mountains.

(Also in the middle of downtown) When do they let the bison out?
Y'know, I'm going to find a bison and make it angry, then point it at you. Just so you can get the "full Colorado experience". Okay? Good.

Why the hell am I so drunk??? I only had one beer!
Because you're a mile above sea level and not acclimated yet. Don't whine, it keeps your bar tabs low. There is a reason when I come down to the coast, I, as a hundred pound girl, can drink your sorry ass under the table with impunity. Sadly, this reason does not include superpowers.

Them: I'm going hiking!
Me: Did you bring water?
Them: Yeah, I brought a bottle of Dasani.
Me: *hands them a gallon jug and a water filter* You're gonna want to refill that a coupla times. Hydrate or die. Your choice, really.

And the coup de grace: Where are the stilts? I thought this was the Mile High City!
He seriously thought the city was built on stilts to put it a mile up in the air. Yeah, we've got flying cars and everything! *headdesk*

[Andara Bledin]

Stilts? Stilts?!?

*mourns as several thousand brain cells implode*

^-.-^

[Becks]

5). Northerner: I'd rather kill myself than have an accent like yours.

Words fail me.

I would LOVE to have a Southern accent. (But like those fake ones on TV.)


Coming from WI, if one more person asks me about Laverne & Shirley's apartment, etc.,

[Andara Bledin]

For no discernable reason, I pick up a southern drawl when I'm tired.

^-.-^

[KuzcoLlama]

In California:
"So does everyone in LA carry guns?"
::blinkblink::
"[general question, said v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y as if to a child.]"
So you either think I'm a moron or do not have a good grasp of the english language. Nice. Looks like I'll be sending you over to the 405 after 3pm "to avoid the heavy traffic."
"Where are all the movie stars?!"
Elsewhere.
"It's not sunny!"
I'll let you in on a little secret: Some days, it's not sunny in California. Here's a napkin. It's super absorbent for your tears of disappointment.
My absolute favourite: "So is it like ['The OC'/'Laguna Beach'] here?"
Yes. Yes it is. Because all shows like that depict a completely realistic accurate portrayl of the area they are filming at. You're saying I sound sarcastic? NO! GO ON!

In Yosemite:
"I want to see bears! How come there are no bears?!"
Yes sir, you yelling loudly about the lack of bears is going to drive them to you. Oh wait, I only know that because I listened to the park ranger.
"Why can't we get close to the deer? My kid wants to see bambi!"
"Bambi" will gore you with their antlers. That's why the signs show a stick figure being gored by bambi. Wild. Animals.
There are a slew of other things, but those were actions, not questions: not securing their food and getting mad the bears got into them, whining about bugs in the summertime, getting irritated about not being able to go beyond the bar on top of the waterfull that is designed to keep people from falling to their deaths.

Related to Yosemite, a friend of mine went to Yellowstone where a couple was trying to get close to a bison. A lone male bison. He's alone and away from other bison for probably a good reason: he's the asshole of the herd. Stay away from it. Luckily the park ranger made them get back.

[infavorofnaturalselection]

I would LOVE to have a Southern accent. (But like those fake ones on TV.)

Actually people from the rural parts of Louisania have that accent. Thing about New Orleans was that a good portion of the people were several generations removed from the rural areas as well as being descended from French colonists or were from out of state but settled there. As for swamps get out of the tourist areas and travel some.

See the thing about the south is that the moderate to large sized cities due to all the businesses bring in lots of out of state workers who settle there or who went to colleges, univertistites and lost most of their accent.

Also Florida and New Orleans aren't really parts of the South.

Sigh I hate that Katrina hit New Orleans some of my family lived there and due to their jobs couldn't evacuate so they were trapped till friends in the police department came for them in armored busses to get them out. Had a time share in a five star hotel that we cannot use anymore.

You can't get near kangaroos normally, they tend to hop away fairly fast. They're not actually vicious predators that chase tourist....hang on, there's an idea.
, NO. Real devils are small, stinky, snarly things that lack the ability to turn themselves into miniature whirlwinds.

"So? They still go out, i've seen it in the movies.
.

You know the only people I would swear that would think things would be like that in real life are small children who cannot discern the difference between reality and fiction.

The only times a boat would leave dock in real life during a gale would be due to an idiot or drunk captain/crew or they had something to deal with say an emergency and were trained to deal with it.

For example I would expect the coast guard to go out in a gale if they had word to do so. They would know the risks and be trained to survive. Not fishing boats.

As for Taz well according to the cartoons he is small, snarly and smelly. I think the whirlwind was to show how fierce the devil was in cartoon form. Because that whirlwind would eat everything it came in contact with or beat it up.

[Sofar]

He's alone and away from other bison for probably a good reason: he's the asshole of the herd..

Animal and man are alike in this respect. Some are just jerks.

[Sofar]

Why the hell am I so drunk??? I only had one beer!
Because you're a mile above sea level and not acclimated yet. Don't whine, it keeps your bar tabs low. There is a reason when I come down to the coast, I, as a hundred pound girl, can drink your sorry ass under the table with impunity. Sadly, this reason does not include superpowers.

Denver ain't so high up. I lived in Santa Fe. 7,500 feet.