oh boy story time.
Since where I live is THE seaside town of Canada, replace Bisons with seals but keep the bears and Bambis. Just as wild, just as dangerous, just natural selection doing it's work.
"Where are all the cod fishermen?"
Out to sea in Newfoundland where they belong.
"Where are the indians?"
Woo woo woo woo woo. Here's your indian experience. That'll be one blanket and your first born please. (For the record, I'm half native.)
"Where's the snow?"
In December, where it belongs.
"How do I get to Percé from here?"
See that road you came from? Turn around, go back, follow the green signs. They even come with arrows. Practical!
"I came to see the dogsleds!"
Yeaaah, we do the Dogsled Festival when the Bay is FROZEN, pal. (Why do they wait till June/July/August to ask for this stuff?)
"I heard there were ice scupltures on Queen street. Where is it?"
Not only is it the street you walked on to ask me, but we're in SUMMER. The fact that you came here wearing Bermudas, a hawaiian shirt and the stupidest looking whole wheat hat ever proves that we do in fact have a hot season.
"Where's a good motel?"
There's a motel like every two inches here. I'm not kidding. Pick one. You cannot humanly miss them unless you're legally blind. If you are, give me your car keys.
"Where are the whales??"
In the water.
Overheard at the Whale Watching boat tour guichet
"Where's the trail to Bonaventure Island?"
"Excuse me?"
"I heard there's a trail to walk to Bonaventure Island!"
"No there isn't! It's an Island!"
"But I heard..." Lather rinse repeat.
It's like saying where's the highway to Cuba.
"Where's the beach?"
Gee I dunno. Did you try the giant lighted wooden boardwalk? Did you try driving past the Mall? Did you try going to Percé? Oh, you just came back, even better (Percé is a two thing town= Stores and Beaches. Lovely) Did you try my backyard?
(I do have a beach at the end of my backyard ) You're on Vacation, DRIVE AROUND, you cannot get lost if you follow the giant roadsigns!
"Why are there so many seagulls here?"
Might have something to do with the SEA we're built against.
"Can we fish from the bridge?"
Sure, lemme get you a police escort too.
Since where I live is THE seaside town of Canada, replace Bisons with seals but keep the bears and Bambis. Just as wild, just as dangerous, just natural selection doing it's work.
"Where are all the cod fishermen?"
Out to sea in Newfoundland where they belong.
"Where are the indians?"
Woo woo woo woo woo. Here's your indian experience. That'll be one blanket and your first born please. (For the record, I'm half native.)
"Where's the snow?"
In December, where it belongs.
"How do I get to Percé from here?"
See that road you came from? Turn around, go back, follow the green signs. They even come with arrows. Practical!
"I came to see the dogsleds!"
Yeaaah, we do the Dogsled Festival when the Bay is FROZEN, pal. (Why do they wait till June/July/August to ask for this stuff?)
"I heard there were ice scupltures on Queen street. Where is it?"
Not only is it the street you walked on to ask me, but we're in SUMMER. The fact that you came here wearing Bermudas, a hawaiian shirt and the stupidest looking whole wheat hat ever proves that we do in fact have a hot season.
"Where's a good motel?"
There's a motel like every two inches here. I'm not kidding. Pick one. You cannot humanly miss them unless you're legally blind. If you are, give me your car keys.
"Where are the whales??"
In the water.
Overheard at the Whale Watching boat tour guichet
"Where's the trail to Bonaventure Island?"
"Excuse me?"
"I heard there's a trail to walk to Bonaventure Island!"
"No there isn't! It's an Island!"
"But I heard..." Lather rinse repeat.
It's like saying where's the highway to Cuba.
"Where's the beach?"
Gee I dunno. Did you try the giant lighted wooden boardwalk? Did you try driving past the Mall? Did you try going to Percé? Oh, you just came back, even better (Percé is a two thing town= Stores and Beaches. Lovely) Did you try my backyard?
(I do have a beach at the end of my backyard ) You're on Vacation, DRIVE AROUND, you cannot get lost if you follow the giant roadsigns!
"Why are there so many seagulls here?"
Might have something to do with the SEA we're built against.
"Can we fish from the bridge?"
Sure, lemme get you a police escort too.
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