Your TMI is no match for mine! (WARNING: Girly Issues)

[SecurityWench]

Hey, gals! You know how sucky it is to have to go to work when the Red Pony Express makes a delivery? I've dealt with it. Many times.

Well, after taking a few Ibuprofen and heading to work, I ran into these teenage guys through my line. They were buying candy, sodas, ice cream, the works. Then they start with the fratboy-esque material:

Guy 1: Hey, baby, what are you doing later?
Me: I'm gonna head home, hang out with my boyfriend.
Guy 1: Ah, that's cool, that's cool.

Guy 1 obviously looks a little down that I didn't respond to his 'invitation', so he starts trying to gross me out.

Guy 1: Dude, I took the most epic shit earlier. You ever have one like that?
Guy 2: Yeah, the kind that just makes you feel 10 pounds lighter.
Guy 1: You chicks don't know how much easier you girls have it than guys.

They start laughing and high fiving, and then I bring out the big guns:

"Gentlemen, you don't know what it's like to be gross until you've been a woman. I woke up this morning to notice my kitty had a nosebleed, that was a start. Then I had to spend my customary 20 minutes in the bathroom, not doing my hair, mind you, and quite frankly, I'm not looking forward to the rest of shark week."

The dudes start retching and going 'Awww, dude!' and run out the door. I call a manager to cancel the order and I don't tell him why I have a huge grin on my face.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

XD Yeah, when guys spend a quarter of the month with liquified internal organs seeping out their nether regions and dont' call the paramedics, then they can have the "gross" label back.

[Bramblerose]

And it's so cute how guys (esp teh under 25 set) curl their tootsies at the first syllable of "menstrual".

[raw456]

...my kitty had a nosebleed...

I've not heard that one before, but love it! *makes mental note to remember it for future usage*

[Soulstealer]

What I'd like to now is why they think a large dump will gross us out. Like they're the only ones who do that. Pfft, I see your large dump and I raise you menstral bleeding during a bad flu on top of that.

[Jay 2K Winger]

"Never trust anything that bleeds for three days and doesn't die."

I forget who said that, but it's a quote that somehow applies here...

Seriously, though, awesome way to shut those two twatrockets up.

[finlayfox]

i am one of the few guys that can relate, because i have crohns disease, and i bleed internally alot... it hurts like a bitch too. so yeah... when most guys talk about shit like that trying to prove that they are better than women i just want to smack the everliving hell out of 'em

[RootedPhoenix]

The dudes start retching and going 'Awww, dude!' and run out the door. I call a manager to cancel the order and I don't tell him why I have a huge grin on my face.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh so hard at them, but you won that one. *hands you a bag of gummy bears*

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"Shark Week"???

[tropicsgoddess]

I never understood how guys can talk about the sickest/grossest things on the planet, but anything about menstruation...they run for the hills. Guys are such babies sometimes. Way to deliver the ownage to those idiots! Hmm...my kitty had a nosebleed...I like that one. Sometimes I stay I just got my monthly subscription in the mail or I'm stuck at a red light. SO on the other hand calls it "the monster". *gives out a big bag of chocolate*

[SG15Z]

I the way you say it! I probably would've been grossed out as well.

[LingualMonkey]

Shark week...<snerk>

I've been married for too long to be grossed out by any of it anymore.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

"Never trust anything that bleeds for three days and doesn't die."

I forget who said that, but it's a quote that somehow applies here...

I remembering Mr. Garrison saying something like that in the "South Park" movie, but it may have come from somewhere else.

[Racket_Man]

Shark week...<snerk>

I've been married for too long to be grossed out by any of it anymore.

same here when I was married (19 years before it ended.

I do like the "kitty has a nosebleed" one that is cute. oh and the shark week is VERY understandable esp if the cramps mood swings etc get real bad as in you WILL have any avaliable body part bitten off (and I am not talking about that certain male part either) at the drop of a hat. I had to live with my Ex AND my daughter. if both of them synched up, well..........



GROSS OUT WARNING you have been warned









my ex used to "pop" out blood clots the size of a small field mouse and I sometimes would have to clean those out of the bathtub/shower drain. then to boot I had to change bandages/dressing after all of her major gut surgeries (saw more of my Ex's insides that any man ever should). so in the end blood and guts do not phase me all that much anymore.

[AccountingDrone]

mrAccountingDrone and I prefer 'the coochie has fallen to the Communists'

Although it is a great way to test a boyfriend, send him off to buy tampons and sanitary pads, if he can come back with the correct stuff or if he blindly grabs something and runs =)

Though the worlds best invention is the diva cup surgical silicon, sterilizes beautifully, reusable and you never run out of tampons in the middle of the night/road trip/work day. Holds a liquid ounce so it is perfect for people like me who go into labor and bleed out monthly unless medically supressed. [I can go through a 16 gram super plus tampon and soak an overnight pad in 2 hours for 5-7 days every 27-32 days. I hate my coochie when I am not on norethindrone.]