I want it both ways and I want it now!

[batmoody]

SC - I need a nice dry bottle of red, and I want it to be sweet.
Me - Okay...so something sort of in between, then? I can do that. How about thi-
SC - NO! It must be VERY dry and VERY sweet, and I'm in a hurry!
(Why are the worst ones always in a hurry?)
Me - Sir, "dry" essentially means "not sweet".

Chug the wine down, hand him the empty bottle and exclaim, "Here ya go! It doesn't get any drier than this!"

[Spiffy McMoron]

People who want their dial-up internet to be wireless AND function at home, at work, in the car, and while camping.

I had to talk tp my old boss about this-Boss was convinced by his son to buy him a laptop for an upcoming vacation, so that the son could go on the internet. I had to explain to him that wireless internet doesn't work like a cell phone, but more like a cordless phone.

As for wine, if he acts like that around the wife, she'll take any kind of wine she can get...

[Boozy]

I just told my manager about this incident, and she told me that whenever that sort of thing happens to her, she just grabs a bottle of whatever slow seller we're trying to get rid of and says, "Here you go!"
Because they won't know any better anyway.
I love my manager.

[Jester]

He ordered a bottle of our nice, fine Beringer White Zinfandel. Not even worth the damn presentation!

Hey now! I think Beringer is getting a bad rap! Is it stellar, high end wine? No. Is it eminently drinkable? Yes. My stepfather drinks that stuff daily with his meals, though he also enjoys finer wines when is out. As far as blush wines go, it is not bad stuff.

Me, I'll stick to my Spanish reds.....

[friendofjimmyk]

I work in a wine store. We very often get customers who don't know much about wine, and they fall into two categories: Those who ask questions, learn something, and leave with a nice bottle that will suit their taste, and then people like THIS GUY...
(For those who don't know, "dry" in wine lingo means "not sweet")

OH HOW I LOVED WINE - when I was still drinking. My ex-husband was nearly a wine stewart - knew everything there was to know about wine (actually, he knew everything there was to know about any wine, beer, or spirit - one thing I took from my marriage was the ability to be a killer bartender because I really knew my sh*t)

Anywho...when I was working at a sort-of upscale restaurant - we had a so-so wine list. There were some stellar selections and then there were the cheapie selections.

A nice couple came in and sat at one of my tables. The girl wanted to drink some wine and asked the guy to order because he "always picks the best bottles". I was thinking "SCORE! I'm going to sell one of our high end bottles". Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong....

He ordered a bottle of our nice, fine Beringer White Zinfandel. Not even worth the damn presentation!

Now, to let everyone in on something - bottles of wine are marked up in most restaurants by unbelievable amounts of money. You can get a bottle of Beringer Puke Zinfandel for about 4 - 6 bucks in a store - in a restaurant - you are paying 16 - 18 bucks for it.

[HawaiianShirts]

I'm guessing everyone gets this in retail. My husband says I should just be thankful I don't sell computers...

And how!

I do sell computers, and I have similar conversations every day.
People who want their dial-up internet to be wireless AND function at home, at work, in the car, and while camping.
People who want a "gaming laptop" for under $400.
People who, in 2006 with Windows XP reigning and Windows Vista on the horizon, want to buy a NEW copy of Windows 98 as an upgrade for their old computer.

And on and on and on. I understand that situation VERY well. At least this guy didn't go ask four of your co-workers the same question he asked you.

[karma_gypsy]

He purchases one of the cheapest, most acidic wines we carry (I once spilled this stuff on my leg and it actually left a BURN) and storms out. This is what the wife "always" gets, and yet she "knows wine".

Well, I hope his wife was happy with what he got, but then again, if he didn't [sarcasm] it'll be your fault [/sarcasm].

And plus, if he knew what kind of wine his wife was looking for, why didn't he go straight to it, or at least tell you what brand he wanted . . . or maybe . . . how much he was willing to pay . . .

[chainedbarista]

next time, hand him two bottles, one dry, one sweet and tell him to mix them, that way, he gets what he wants.

damned idiots; i'm no expert either and i know that much, just from watching cooking shows.

[Primer]

SC - I need a nice dry bottle of red, and I want it to be sweet.
Me - Okay...so something sort of in between, then? I can do that. How about thi-
SC - NO! It must be VERY dry and VERY sweet, and I'm in a hurry!

Maybe he wanted it without vermouth?

[Boozy]

I work in a wine store. We very often get customers who don't know much about wine, and they fall into two categories: Those who ask questions, learn something, and leave with a nice bottle that will suit their taste, and then people like THIS GUY...
(For those who don't know, "dry" in wine lingo means "not sweet")

SC - I need a nice dry bottle of red, and I want it to be sweet.
Me - Okay...so something sort of in between, then? I can do that. How about thi-
SC - NO! It must be VERY dry and VERY sweet, and I'm in a hurry!
(Why are the worst ones always in a hurry?)
Me - Sir, "dry" essentially means "not sweet". I can almost certainly find you a bottle you'll like, but I can assure you it won't be both dry AND sweet.
SC - That's not true! You don't know wine! My wife knows about wine, and she told me to get a sweet dry red!
Me - I suspect that you either misunderstood her, or perhaps I'm misunderstanding you...are you sure she said-
SC - I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS CRAP! I'll just get what she always get!

He purchases one of the cheapest, most acidic wines we carry (I once spilled this stuff on my leg and it actually left a BURN) and storms out. This is what the wife "always" gets, and yet she "knows wine".
I'm no wine snob, by the way. I couldn't care less what people drink, and I myself like some wines that other people would consider pretty inferior. And I like it when people who don't know about wine come in to the store and start asking for advice. Its what I'm paid for, and I think its fun.
But this guy really annoyed me. If you know SO much about wine, why do you ask me anything at all? This guy recognized me as the one to go to for questions, and yet, when I didn't give him the answer he wanted in ten seconds or less, all of a sudden I don't know what I'm talking about.
I'm guessing everyone gets this in retail. My husband says I should just be thankful I don't sell computers...