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Long time lurker - first time poster. I've been working my way from the back and reading all the past posts. I've been out of working with the public for 3 years, but have lots of stories from my few years at sea, as well as previous jobs.
I worked in the entertainment department and near the end of each cruise we would do a backstage tour. This is run mostly by the technical department along with the dance captain and occasionally a member of the cruise staff. This particular week the dance captain (female) was sick (*cough* hungover *cough*), so the assistant came for the tour (VERY gay male). I was stationed near the end of tour to assist the passengers down the stairs from the stage back to the audience area. They had just come out of the dressing room where the male dancer had just done his spiel. An overweight, 50-ish man with a very thick southern accent came up to me and we had the following conversation:
SC: Where's them female dancers at?
ME: I'm sorry sir, at the backstage tour only the dance captain attends.
SC: Yeah, but where's they at?
ME: Well sir, they may be rehearsing, at the gym or enjoying some down time before their big show this evening (actually, they were mostly nursing their hangovers from the killer crew bar party the night before...as was I)
SC: I wouldn't have come to this stupid thing if I had know I'd only see a black, gay man!!!
ME: I'm sorry if it wasn't to your liking, sir.
SC: If I can't meet female dancers, hows I gunna sleep with one?
ME:
I couldn't respond. He stormed away, so I just stood there, blinking. I told the dancers about it that night and pointed him out to them from backstage (he was sitting front and center). We all had a good laugh, and I think one of the girls winked at him from the stage... probably made his day/year/life.
*****
Here's a list of common questions we used to get, almost every cruise (so sad).
Do these stairs go up or down?
Will these elevators take me to the front of the ship?
Do the crew sleep onboard?
(No sir, we fly in from helicopter each morning. -- we had someone complain later in the cruise that the noise from the helicopter kept them awake and they wanted freebies)
Does the ship make it's own power?
(No sir, we have a VERY long extension cord)
Oh, you're from Canada? You speak english very well.
Why are the back brushes for the shower so much rougher than the ones on Carnival?
(Because that's a toilet bowl brush, sir)
Where are the whales? The Captain promised we'd see whales! I demand that he produce whales!!
Why are we rocking? I demand that the Captain stop making the ship rock so much!
What time is the midnight buffet?
How do I work the microwave in my room?
(Ummm....do you mean the safe?)
Is the water in the toilet salt water or fresh?
(Grab a glass, let me know the results)
The orange pillow on my bed is hard. Where can I get another?
(That's your life jacket, m'am)
Lots more to come!
I worked in the entertainment department and near the end of each cruise we would do a backstage tour. This is run mostly by the technical department along with the dance captain and occasionally a member of the cruise staff. This particular week the dance captain (female) was sick (*cough* hungover *cough*), so the assistant came for the tour (VERY gay male). I was stationed near the end of tour to assist the passengers down the stairs from the stage back to the audience area. They had just come out of the dressing room where the male dancer had just done his spiel. An overweight, 50-ish man with a very thick southern accent came up to me and we had the following conversation:
SC: Where's them female dancers at?
ME: I'm sorry sir, at the backstage tour only the dance captain attends.
SC: Yeah, but where's they at?
ME: Well sir, they may be rehearsing, at the gym or enjoying some down time before their big show this evening (actually, they were mostly nursing their hangovers from the killer crew bar party the night before...as was I)
SC: I wouldn't have come to this stupid thing if I had know I'd only see a black, gay man!!!
ME: I'm sorry if it wasn't to your liking, sir.
SC: If I can't meet female dancers, hows I gunna sleep with one?
ME:
I couldn't respond. He stormed away, so I just stood there, blinking. I told the dancers about it that night and pointed him out to them from backstage (he was sitting front and center). We all had a good laugh, and I think one of the girls winked at him from the stage... probably made his day/year/life.
*****
Here's a list of common questions we used to get, almost every cruise (so sad).
Do these stairs go up or down?
Will these elevators take me to the front of the ship?
Do the crew sleep onboard?
(No sir, we fly in from helicopter each morning. -- we had someone complain later in the cruise that the noise from the helicopter kept them awake and they wanted freebies)
Does the ship make it's own power?
(No sir, we have a VERY long extension cord)
Oh, you're from Canada? You speak english very well.
Why are the back brushes for the shower so much rougher than the ones on Carnival?
(Because that's a toilet bowl brush, sir)
Where are the whales? The Captain promised we'd see whales! I demand that he produce whales!!
Why are we rocking? I demand that the Captain stop making the ship rock so much!
What time is the midnight buffet?
How do I work the microwave in my room?
(Ummm....do you mean the safe?)
Is the water in the toilet salt water or fresh?
(Grab a glass, let me know the results)
The orange pillow on my bed is hard. Where can I get another?
(That's your life jacket, m'am)
Lots more to come!
Oh, the answers I could come up with for that one...
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