[Very NSFW] It helps if you know what you want sugar.

[Andara Bledin]

Heh, when I was still answering the phones here, I'd get comments like that. From our customers!

Of course, if I'm wrong, and there's a way for me to make money talking dirty to women, someone please get me that information. (Yes, seriously. I mean, why not?)

You could probably get hooked up with one of those text services somewhere and do that. I mean, half of the people logging in would probably still be guys but at least they'd be calling as women.

I used to cyber sometimes for my own amusement. It's depressing how pathetically uninspired most people are with it. *sigh* Heck, some of them could qualify for the cadaver sex without even meaning to!

On a similar note, for some reason, I get freaks trying to cyber me when I'm playing undead in WoW than any other race. Although it probably doesn't help that I tend to have my undead characters wear as little as possible. I couldn't tell you why, though.

Speaking of WoW, here's one of the silly comments from a female undead that happens to be particularly apropos: "Yes, they're real. They're not mine, but they're real."

^-.-^

[Pagan]

That job has always sounded somewhat interesting to me.

More to come as i encounter them.

Isn't that a daily occurrence? Sorry, I couldn't resist!

Not too many guys would call me back I think if they were getting all hot and bothered and heard my beagle start baying, or my toddler get on the other phone!

Oh, you never know....

And nice to know I'm not the only one hoping for more sex-call stories.

Me too!

[friendofjimmyk]

I'll probably regret this but how would a necrophiliac call work? "I want you to pretend you're dead".........................................

Well....if it were like most of my other calls...I'd have to be descriptive of the location and status of my body...or...I don't know...I never had to go there thankfully!

[friendofjimmyk]

*waves* I've got an empty ear and a strong consitution.

Seriously, I'm bored.

I'll give you one...this one is one of the tamer ones and I PMd Phoenix about it....


Had a guy who had a serious foot fetish...but more along the lines of socks. Very dirty, sweaty, nasty been on your feet all day while you were running track or working out type of socks. I didn't know where to go with that.

Most of the time, for me, they would direct me as to what they wanted me to say or do.

I'll throw you one more...

Had a guy who wanted me to talk as though I had something in my mouth. It started off with small phrases and then more conversation...but I had to talk like I had something in my mouth....actually, that was one of my calls that was monitored. When you were monitored, a girl from their offices somewhere in Los Angeles called you (I lived in Dallas at the time). She called me because she thought the call was absolutely hilarious! We laughed about it for a few minutes, she gave me pointers and then I kept working.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Well....if it were like most of my other calls...I'd have to be descriptive of the location and status of my body...or...I don't know...I never had to go there thankfully!

*snicker*

It's a lonely stretch of road. There were no witnesses to deter the hit and run driver. My broken body lies unmoving, eyes still wide with the memory of approaching headlights. What little blood there is speckles the road; my heart stopped too quickly for me to bleed.

Oh, come on. That's fun just from the creepiness.

[RayvenQ]

I thought by Zombie co-op game he meant Resident Evil 5 and I was like "hmmm, Resident evil porn, now there's a hell of a concept"

That exists too thanks to Rule 34

[friendofjimmyk]

*snicker*

It's a lonely stretch of road. There were no witnesses to deter the hit and run driver. My broken body lies unmoving, eyes still wide with the memory of approaching headlights. What little blood there is speckles the road; my heart stopped too quickly for me to bleed.

:

HFP - I think you found your calling!

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

HFP - I think you found your calling!

And I here always thought it'd be anthro-porn.

[Fire_on_High]

On a similar note, for some reason, I get freaks trying to cyber me when I'm playing undead in WoW than any other race. Although it probably doesn't help that I tend to have my undead characters wear as little as possible. I couldn't tell you why, though.

Speaking of WoW, here's one of the silly comments from a female undead that happens to be particularly apropos: "Yes, they're real. They're not mine, but they're real."

^-.-^

That brings this to mind.

[Imogene]

I'll probably regret this but how would a necrophiliac call work?

... put down the phone and walk away? Let him set himself up...? It's not like your body's going to suddenly dance and sing because he's a great lover or something.
*shrugs*

[Polenicus]

And that's different from a stripper.....HOW?

Who said it was?

Though to be fair, the Stripper's 'routine' isn't determined on the spot by the drooling man-apes clutching their fistfull of bills and deluding themselves that she's really into them.

Still doesn't do it for me. It's just... not a turn on for me for a girl to be sexually attracted to my money.

[Jester]

You could probably get hooked up with one of those text services somewhere and do that. I mean, half of the people logging in would probably still be guys but at least they'd be calling as women.

Anyone have any information about a service like this? I.e., who I would contact, etc., etc.

[Digitalpotato]

warning: NSFW

I'd never be able to do that job namely cause I'd wind up hating it. I'm not disturbed by stuff thanks to some asswipe pranking the elementary school with Tubgirl (Not Middle school...ELEMENTARY school. Yeah, I'll let you imagine what the 5-12 year olds would think) and making the mistake of reading an absolutely disgusting story that I THOUGHT would be an interesting take on Theseus and the Minotaur. (And no, it wasn't just the minotaur screwing Theseus or vice versa...)


But I have sticked around some chat rooms that wound up deteriorating into sex. If you're transforming me into a dinosaur, then why do you think I'm going to eat you out of revenge? Mad wizards would just give me indigestion you know! And no, I won't stomp or step or mistake you for a toilet either, you sick bastard! If I'm turning into a dinosaur, do you think the one thing on my mind would be random sexual actions?!

[Lil Bunny]

That brings this to mind.

Dood, classic! Of course now I've got this stuck in my head. Hmm...with my love of zombies I could probably pull off the dead thing. Stuff to think on.

[Andara Bledin]

Dood, classic! Of course now I've got this stuck in my head. Hmm...with my love of zombies I could probably pull off the dead thing. Stuff to think on.

Alas, I suspect that most necrophiliacs wouldn't really be into zombie phone sex. They probably want you to describe how your body flops around as they do whatever to it. Not my cuppa, but as long as they're not actually doing it for real...

And I'm with Jester. If anyone has a line on getting hooked up with one of those chat services, that could be fun for a laugh or two and a little extra spending change.

^-.-^