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It is Thursday. On Tuesday I go on holiday. Such joy one cannot describe. I have not had a holiday longer than three consecutive days since 2007. It is not an exaggeration to say that I have been whistling a merry tune for the best part of a fortnight in anticipation of a week of relaxation with my significant other. Assuming he finds his passport in time…
Anyway, my glow of happiness was slightly dented this morning when a brand spanking new author rang up. Uber Boss (who is at home today, potentially with Swine Flu, but more likely a bad case of ‘comfybeditis’) commissioned it a few months back and this morning the manuscript arrived by special delivery (often a bad sign when authors treat their book like their first-born). I fear I may have been a little sharp with him...
At 8.54 (six minutes before I am paid to give a damn) New Author (NA) rings me up. Italics are my thoughts.
NA: Hello, is that BookBint?
BB: Never pick up the phone, never pick up the phone... Yes it is.
NA: This is New Author. I am ringing to see if my manuscript arrived.
BB: Yes it did, it's sitting in front of me now.
NA: Excellent, now tell me, what do you think of it?
BB: Um... well, it arrived approximately seven minutes ago, so I haven't looked it yet. Doof
NA: Well when will you get on to it?
BB: WTF? Who are you, the Editing Enforcer TM? Well since it's a November title we will be starting the edit almost right away.
NA: Good, good. And what type of edit will you be doing?
BB: Back seat editor. Type? Lemon-flavoured? Well I am on holiday from next week so that will be up to Uber Boss or CW.
NA: What? But won't you be dealing with it? Didn't you do the contract?
BB: Yes I did, but I imagine UberBoss won't want to wait for me to come back to start the edit.
NA: Well I think you should have scheduled your time off a little better! Didn't you know you had an important manuscript coming in?
BB: Sir, I have three or four books coming in a week. If I thought like that I wouldn't be able to schedule a holiday for the rest of my working life. Approximately 41 years.
Anyway, my glow of happiness was slightly dented this morning when a brand spanking new author rang up. Uber Boss (who is at home today, potentially with Swine Flu, but more likely a bad case of ‘comfybeditis’) commissioned it a few months back and this morning the manuscript arrived by special delivery (often a bad sign when authors treat their book like their first-born). I fear I may have been a little sharp with him...
At 8.54 (six minutes before I am paid to give a damn) New Author (NA) rings me up. Italics are my thoughts.
NA: Hello, is that BookBint?
BB: Never pick up the phone, never pick up the phone... Yes it is.
NA: This is New Author. I am ringing to see if my manuscript arrived.
BB: Yes it did, it's sitting in front of me now.
NA: Excellent, now tell me, what do you think of it?
BB: Um... well, it arrived approximately seven minutes ago, so I haven't looked it yet. Doof
NA: Well when will you get on to it?
BB: WTF? Who are you, the Editing Enforcer TM? Well since it's a November title we will be starting the edit almost right away.
NA: Good, good. And what type of edit will you be doing?
BB: Back seat editor. Type? Lemon-flavoured? Well I am on holiday from next week so that will be up to Uber Boss or CW.
NA: What? But won't you be dealing with it? Didn't you do the contract?
BB: Yes I did, but I imagine UberBoss won't want to wait for me to come back to start the edit.
NA: Well I think you should have scheduled your time off a little better! Didn't you know you had an important manuscript coming in?
BB: Sir, I have three or four books coming in a week. If I thought like that I wouldn't be able to schedule a holiday for the rest of my working life. Approximately 41 years.
It was a bit disconcerting as the first ones were when they were testing and isolating and blah blah blah and then by the time the results would have been due on the colleagues children they weren't testing anymore and no results were given. 
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