Energyguy says hello

[energyguy]

Hi, long time lurker only recently have i got a job where i have stories worthy of the site, so i decided to get myself an account and start spreading the despair. i work for EnergyCo (not real name obviously) in the UK in an incoming call centre, supposedly i deal only with people moving into or out of their homes, in reality as well as that i deal with bits and pieces from every department. This is a collection of stories from the last week. Apolagies to Gravekeeper for shamelessly ripping off his format.

Whisky Tango Foxtrot

Me: *PENING SPIEL* Can i take your name please?
SC: *sound of cat coughing up an extra large furball*
Me: sorry can you spell that please?
SC: *sigh* hsinitghyrer

Thanks speaking at the speed of light is a great help.

Me: can you do it phonecticly please? i got as far as H for Hotel, S for sugar
SC: I for India, N for knife......
Me: Sorry did you say N or K there?
SC: N! N! N for Knife! god how stupid are you people?
Me: KNIFE starts with a K not a N
SC: Not how i say it!

News just in, nobody cares how you pronounce anything, even your poor parents gave up caring 7 years ago, phonetic means spelt not pronounced. Yes this was my first call of the week, what a way to start.

I need IDZ.....

One of the many things i am supposed to do, is deal with anyone who wants to add a new person to their account (quick and easy) or people who want to change the person on the account (long and hard), in the second case, i have to shut down the original account, create a new customer account and transfer all the energy contracts.
So i get this call from a woman with a very strong Indian accent

SC1: I want my sister's name on the account
Me: ok th...
SC1: She needs her name on the account for ID
Me: no pr.....
SC1: So i'm putting the account in her name
Me: If you would rather just put her name on the account she will still get a letter with her name and address so she can use it as ID
SC1: NO she needs ID, i want her to pay for the electricity.
Me: Ok can i take your name please?
SC1: Makhoomosi Naheem
Me: And your sisters name please?
SC1: Makhoomosa Naheem
Me: You and your sister have the same name?
SC1: No!!!eleventy!! Omg how stupid are you speak to her.

Another indian woman with the exact same voice comes on the phone.

SC2: Hello is there a problem?
Me: No there is no problem are you the sister?
SC2: Yes i'm the sister, why can i not put my name on the account?
Me: Your sister is trying to put the account in your name, not add your name to the account which is it you're after?
SC2: .......
Me: .......
SC?: Sorry about that
Me: No problem Makhoomosa
SC1: No i'm her sister, i'll put her back on

And this continued for half an hour, HALF AN HOUR of this tag team stupidity, some more highlights of the call

SC: Can you wait a moment
Me: Sure
Sc: ....
Me: ....
Sc: I'm back
Me: Me: No problem Makhoomosa
SC: No i'm her sister!!!!! eleventy!!!!!

I got his every three minutes, and just to shake things up, sometimes they wouldn't change, I just get the silence followed by the same person.

Me: And how many adults are living at your property?
Sc: Wait a minute i'll get my brother

What, why? This is not a question which needs any discussion, are you incapable of counting to 3 yourself? Is your brother the elected counter for your household, any question of numbers must be answered by him and him alone?

Me: I just need your direct debit details and then we are done
Old Old Angry Man: Why do you need my bank details?
Me: Sir who are you?
Sc: I'm her dad, why do you need my bank details you have them i gave them already. i pay.

So not only does this household have a offical counter, but a troll to protect the sacred bank details. Here's a clue you wanted a new account, you have a new acocunt so i have to retake the bank details, Once again all this could be magicly fixed if at the beginning all that time ago, your daughters had wanted a name added to the acocunt rather than change the entire account for the fun of it!

Forced Paedophilia

Unlike Gravekeeper i don't use the Calgary Skytrain, living in Manchester it would be a rather stupid way to get to work, i do however use the Manchester version, the Metro. as well as a Train and walking, i get to see a good chunk of manchester's worst adverts for reproduction. This week worst?

I'm walking through Piccadily Gardens, where there is a "interactive fountain" or in reality, a place to get Pnuemonia quicker than was previously though humanly possible. It is of course popular with little kids and drunk adults wanting a quick way to cool off. Today a new group decided to use it. At their parents urging 2 teenagers, about 13 and 15 stripped down to WHITE underwear and frolliced in the fountains. yes their parents encouraged them to show everything. I haven't seen a news report on their kidnap yet but it can only be a matter of time.

Grr Scotland

Gravekeeper has his Nuveant i have Scotland. Before we can do anything to a house we have to find it, in Scotland this is made much harder by the fact that EVERY SINGLE town planner and architect have decided to make scottish addresses as impossible to get right as possible. REAR3 5/6 7 Bolent House 8 Select Street, is considered a normal address. so when i get a caller with an adress like this who decides to tewll me she lives at 3 Select Street, you can imagine the fun i have getting the full address.


I know the postcode!

Yes sir i understand you have given me a postcode 7pw, Yes sir i understand you have lived on your stareet 37 years, yes sir i understand that you have only moves 2 doors. yes sir i understand you have given me a postcode. yes sir i understand you have liven in the area your entire life. SIR DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE POSTCODE CHANGES MIDWAY DOWN THE STREET? yes sir i understand it's stupid, yes sir i understand you never knew that, no sir i don't know why that is, yes sir i understand it only 2 doors down.

And there goes my first post. Please be gentle.

[Ree]

News just in, nobody cares how you pronounce anything, even your poor parents gave up caring 7 years ago, phonetic means spelt not pronounced. Yes this was my first call of the week, what a way to start.

I think that's only partially right.
Technically, it is based on pronunciation, but the word chosen is usually spelled with the letter it represents.

"N = knife"?? That is really just a bit sad.

[Fiyero]

Forced Paedophilia

Unlike Gravekeeper i don't use the Calgary Skytrain, living in Manchester it would be a rather stupid way to get to work, i do however use the Manchester version, the Metro. as well as a Train and walking, i get to see a good chunk of manchester's worst adverts for reproduction. This week worst?

I'm walking through Piccadily Gardens, where there is a "interactive fountain" or in reality, a place to get Pnuemonia quicker than was previously though humanly possible. It is of course popular with little kids and drunk adults wanting a quick way to cool off. Today a new group decided to use it. At their parents urging 2 teenagers, about 13 and 15 stripped down to WHITE underwear and frolliced in the fountains. yes their parents encouraged them to show everything. I haven't seen a news report on their kidnap yet but it can only be a matter of time.

I'll admit that these kids sound a littler older but it is quite normal for kids to frolic in fountains in their underwear. It's part of children being children. What would be odd is an adult unrelated to them stripping to his underwear and joining in.

[smileyeagle1021]

Forced Paedophilia

Unlike Gravekeeper i don't use the Calgary Skytrain, living in Manchester it would be a rather stupid way to get to work, i do however use the Manchester version, the Metro. as well as a Train and walking, i get to see a good chunk of manchester's worst adverts for reproduction. This week worst?

I'm walking through Piccadily Gardens, where there is a "interactive fountain" or in reality, a place to get Pnuemonia quicker than was previously though humanly possible. It is of course popular with little kids and drunk adults wanting a quick way to cool off. Today a new group decided to use it. At their parents urging 2 teenagers, about 13 and 15 stripped down to WHITE underwear and frolliced in the fountains. yes their parents encouraged them to show everything. I haven't seen a news report on their kidnap yet but it can only be a matter of time.

Funny, I too have stolen GK's post style, and I too don't use the Skytrain, what an odd coincidence
As to the second part of the post, I'll reply below

I'll admit that these kids sound a littler older but it is quite normal for kids to frolic in fountains in their underwear. It's part of children being children. What would be odd is an adult unrelated to them stripping to his underwear and joining in.

Fiyero, no, kids playing in fountains in their underwear isn't that unusual... that said, doing so in WHITE underwear is a bad idea because white underwear has a tendency to go transparent when wet, meaning that any passerby will NOT have to use their imagination at all, which encouraging someone to show that much detail in public is a bad idea no matter what the age.

Though, I will admit (gender wasn't given in the story) had I seen that 10 years ago and it had been two guys, I would be very excited... and I wouldn't find it wrong for someone 10 years younger than me to feel the same way... that said, in a public place, there will be a lot more than just people 10 years younger than me and it's an open invitation for those with ill intent. Oh, and for the record, I am 23(almost).

[lobsterdance]

Grr Scotland

Gravekeeper has his Nuveant i have Scotland.

As a Scot i'm not sure if i should be offended by that?!

[Ree]

...had I seen that 10 years ago and it had been two guys, I would be very excited... and I wouldn't find it wrong for someone 10 years younger than me to feel the same way... that said, in a public place, there will be a lot more than just people 10 years younger than me and it's an open invitation for those with ill intent. Oh, and for the record, I am 23(almost).

So, that would have put you at 13 when you are talking about this causing you to be excited?

Ummm...I don't believe that it's pedophilia if you are around the same age as the person you are attracted to.

[smileyeagle1021]

Ummm...I don't believe that it's pedophilia if you are around the same age as the person you are attracted to.

That was my point... I was also pointing out though that there is no way to guarantee that only people around their age would be there, and that only people around their age would be attracted... it's a sad commentary on this modern world, but we do have to be vigilant about our surroundings if we are going to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe.

[Ree]

I couldn't agree more, smiley.

Actually, I wanted to say, "Get out of my head" because what you posted was exactly what I was thinking.

What a world we live in.

It's sad, too, that kids wading and playing in a fountain in their undies equates to "forced pedophilia", although I suspect it was just the OP's way of adding a bit of humour to things.

Only a few years ago, (certainly during my childhood), we could do things like that without any worries....(or, at least I could until one fateful day, but we won't go into that here...)

[Broomjockey]

Good post, good stories. One thing though:

Unlike Gravekeeper i don't use the Calgary Skytrain,

Actually, neither does GK. He uses the Vancouver Skytrain, unless he's moved very recently.

[smileyeagle1021]

Actually, neither does GK. He uses the Vancouver Skytrain, unless he's moved very recently.

good catch Broom... and I'm a train geek and I didn't catch that
Also no one uses the Calgary Skytrain as it is that there is no Skytrain... there is however a C-Train

[Broomjockey]

a C-Train

Lemme guess... the C stands for... Commuter? "Calgary Train" would be right up their alley, but just a tad too obvious.

[Sonoma]

"N = knife"?? That is really just a bit sad.

I actually had a call where I got "K, as in cat". I had a hard time not spitting Diet Pepsi on my monitor.

[cinema guy]

SIR DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE POSTCODE CHANGES MIDWAY DOWN THE STREET? yes sir i understand it's stupid, yes sir i understand you never knew that, no sir i don't know why that is, yes sir i understand it only 2 doors down.

My street has at least 3. I think each postcode includes around 15 addresses.

welcome

[energyguy]

Good post, good stories. One thing though:



Actually, neither does GK. He uses the Vancouver Skytrain, unless he's moved very recently.

At least i got the country right which is good for me.

[EricKei]

Great stories, and Welcome to Customers Suck!

Why is is that people who speak rapidly and indistinctly always think that everybody else (especially people to whom they are speaking over a phone line, which may or may not have a good connection) can understand them perfectly...?