Gay Virus.

[Kara]

I was a perfectly normal, happy, productive member of society. Then in junior high, I started to feel "different." I should have paid attention to the signs, but I ignored them. By the time I realized I was infected, it was too late. The GLBT virus took hold of me and never let go. I realized that I should have talked with my doctor when I first started showing symptoms. I became withdrawn, anti-social, and suicidal. I have learned to live with this sickness, even knowing what a horrible person it makes me. So please, talk to your doctor about vaccinating you and your loved ones with Bigotral LX. Bigotral LX is not available in stores. Side effects include narrow-mindedness, intolerance of others, self-righteousness, hatred, fear, anxiety, the ability to tell others to trust in the Lord but say you're wrong if you were told something that doesn't fit their values, and explosive diarrhea.

Oh wait a minute. I just realized something. I'm not sick. In fact, I've never felt better. Because I accepted what I am and that God wanted me to be this way for a purpose that goes deeper than human understanding. So you know what? I'm going to live my life the way I feel is right, the way that I feel led to live, and if you don't like it then you can kiss my ass.

I am what I am and that's all that I am. I'm Kara, the Sailor Smartass. *toot toot!*

[PepperElf]

If possible, you should've lied to the guy, waited for him to take a big bite out of his burger, and then identified yourself, told the asshole he is now teh ghey himself, and the onset of symptoms will include limpness in his wrists and using the word "fabulous" a lot.

On another message board I go to one of the guys had that happen at his donut job.

Customer ordered a donut but demanded he use tongs to handle everything because she didn't want anything touched by <racial group> hands (his race).
After she took a bite he said "I made that this morning with my <racial group> hands."

yes she gagged.

[Andara Bledin]

Bigotral LX is not available in stores. Side effects include narrow-mindedness, intolerance of others, self-righteousness, hatred, fear, anxiety, the ability to tell others to trust in the Lord but say you're wrong if you were told something that doesn't fit their values, and explosive diarrhea.

Bwahahaha!

^-.-^

[fireheart]

I am what I am and that's all that I am. I'm Kara, the Sailor Smartass. *toot toot!*

So does that mean we can see you in a Sailor Fuku? *ducks*

[smileyeagle1021]

So please, talk to your doctor about vaccinating you and your loved ones with Bigotral LX. Bigotral LX is not available in stores. Side effects include narrow-mindedness, intolerance of others, self-righteousness, hatred, fear, anxiety, the ability to tell others to trust in the Lord but say you're wrong if you were told something that doesn't fit their values, and explosive diarrhea.

sadly there really is a Bigotral LX... though it doesn't go by that name... you have several varieties to chose from... the local favorite up until about a decade ago was electroshock therapy. Currently the preferred treatment is the West Ridge Gulag... a retraining camp, for lack of better words, for 'troubled' youth.
Sadly, with the exception of the explosive diarrhea the side effects are pretty much exactly what you said (for the 'successful' cases... suicide is a common side effect though for the 'failed' cases).

[Tiberious]

So you're saying it worked?

*arms self with yaoi* Think I'll make a visit to the GOP.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... got any proof there to back up your apparent claims of intolerance?

[Seshat]

the local favorite up until about a decade ago was electroshock therapy. Currently the preferred treatment is the West Ridge Gulag

Isn't it awful?

One of the best cures for extremism is to move the extremist/s into a population where the majority is somewhere between moderate and strongly for the opposing side. The extremist gets no support for their views, and is faced with shock, anger, or (even better) derision when they express them.

Or put them on the Sydney/Perth railway train, and in the middle of the Nullarbor*, let them know that there's Teh Gay on the train. And open the doors to let them panic and flee.

Only problem is that you'd have to wait until they mummified to clean up, otherwise the stench would be dreadful.


* think Death Valley, only larger.

[XCashier]

There's an island we could send them. VRS's customers rent expensive holiday homes there. We could get the bigots and EWs at the same time. So long as we get Dave out of there first.

Actually I just thought of another island we could send them to...

Sadly, with the exception of the explosive diarrhea the side effects are pretty much exactly what you said

Well, they do produce a lot of explosive verbal diarrhea...

[JustaCashier]

guitardude, I hope you thoroughly washed your hands, and sanitized the money he paid with, (if he paid cash) to rid yourself, and everything else he touched, of the slime of hatred, ignorance, and general assholishness.

Parts of the Southern United States, parts of the Middle East, and London, Ontario are the least tolerant parts of the world..

I vote for sending all of the bigots to the Middle East.

And tell the exisiting residents that the bigots are gay!

Mike

[Broomjockey]

Whoa, whoa, whoa... got any proof there to back up your apparent claims of intolerance?

Provision of any proof would require a trip to Fratching, so we'll just leave the joke alone and ignore it.

[otakuneko]

Did someone say SEIFUKU?! MOTTEKE!

[gremcint]

Look he's just being cautious as he doesn't want to become a zombie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZuK_...1&feature=fvwp

[Pagan]

Actually I just thought of another island we could send them to...

Ooh, the ghosties out there would have lots of fun with them!

[Amanita]

Oh no! Don't send the twits to Alcatraz! Alcatraz is too cool, and I just bought my ticket to visit during my trip later this month!
That would also put all teh stoopid just a little too close to my beloved Golden Gate Bridge. Not to mention that their collective stench might waft over to San Francisco. Ugh. Stick with the nuclear test sites.

[HYHYBT]

Lodging them so close to San Francisco would add a nice touch of irony, but there's not enough room.