Atonement

[Becks]

So I guess what I’m really trying to say here is that you’re a fucking idiot and good luck with that job.

If that job doesn't work out, I'm sure there will somehow be an open position at Irv's store.

[Victoria J]

This may strike some as sick, but that just made me laugh my silly little ass off.

No, seriously. I am now sitting on my thighs, as I no longer have an ass, due to GK's hilarity. It is his fault I am now essentially assless.

So we're not going to start seeing pictures of you online in pink camo leather ass-less chaps then ?

At least I don't think ass-less chaps and being actually ass-less works together.

Sadly the addictive nature of that catalogue means you will probably still buy the terrible clothing even though you can no longer wear it - just as customers with no computer and very little sunlight keep buying MP3 sunglasses.

Turn back before it's too late. Do not look at the actual catalogue !

Victoria J

[Fryk]

Oh, come ON! Who doesn't want to be Jeses' KGB? Sign me the hell up for that. Turning water into wiretaps, raising the dead (for your unstoppable zombie army), indoctrinating the 5,000... it'd be SWEET!

[Geek King]

Aha! I've figured it out!

6348 converted into Hexidecimal (base 16) is 18CC, which is exactly the measure of whatever drug Mr. Hot Tips should be taking to keep the crazy out!

[dalesys]

If y'all start seeing pictures of me online in pink camo leather ass-less chaps, you'll know why.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat!

[atomicthumbs]

Tax Dollars At Work
( This is pretty much the highest level emergency line I have to be honest. It is for disasters. I dread seeing this line appear. )

Has this line ever been used in any legitimate capacity? What kinds of terrible disasters does it cover?

[El Pollo Guerrera]

I assume you are referencing Mazes & Monsters?

*** 5 BONUS POINTS***

Here you go!

[Andara Bledin]

Let’s see…….allllright it’s a pair of pants. You crave pants so much that you cannot coherently answer simple questions. Right-o.

Well, it was either that, mp3 sunglasses, or a pink camo hat, right?

Like you, you're Jesus’s KGB, you’re a spy for GOD, right?”

Gravekeeper - Jesus' KGB

I opened the catalog to the very first page and there was not one, not two, not three, but four pink camo items just on the first page alone.

Is one of those a shirt? I need a new shirt for my costume.

I am sitting here providing all the government services currently assigned to me at adequate to downright exceptional levels ranging from impressively stellar to fresh baked Win muffins from Awesometown on Christmas morning. Therefore your tax dollars are not only at work, but being harnessed to provide all required services through me, their avatar.

That makes me giggle.

No, seriously. I am now sitting on my thighs, as I no longer have an ass, due to GK's hilarity. It is his fault I am now essentially assless.

That means you'll be able to put those chaps to good use, then.

^-.-^

[Gravekeeper]

Is one of those a shirt? I need a new shirt for my costume.

All 4 are shirts, one has a lace miniskirt trim. There's a matching hooded sweat and hat too. >.>

[Jester]

At least I don't think ass-less chaps and being actually ass-less works together.

Actually, it would make more sense for an assless person to wear assless chaps than for a person with an ass to do so. It would be the equivalent of giving a sleeveless shirt to an armless man. At least, it makes sense to me. Plus, let's face it, if you're wearing assless chaps, but you have no ass to expose, where's the harm?

That means you'll be able to put those chaps to good use, then.

See? I'm not the only one that sees the logic in that!

[Andara Bledin]

See? I'm not the only one that sees the logic in that!

GMTA

^-.-^

[Victoria J]

Actually, it would make more sense for an assless person to wear assless chaps than for a person with an ass to do so. It would be the equivalent of giving a sleeveless shirt to an armless man. At least, it makes sense to me. Plus, let's face it, if you're wearing assless chaps, but you have no ass to expose, where's the harm?

I guess I'm out numbered - but I'm still not convinced.

There may be a wide variety of asses out there, and a huge difference in my willingness to see them exposed but I'd rather see any bare ass than some freaky lack of ass.

I mean I assume laughing ones ass of isn't neat. There'd be blood and gore and horror involved.

PLUS I might suggest a sleeveless shirt to an armless man, but not to a man with no elbows* Ass by nature is a connection. If everything still holds together and your legs haven't fallen off then some covering is still appropriate.

Anyway I realise 3 things :
1) I put way too much thought into this
2) This thread includes the word ass too many times.
3) Personally (and obviously I'm biased) it would be funnier with, um, Birtish "arse".

Pedantically and patriotically,
Victoria J

*This sounds like a saying.

[Jester]

There may be a wide variety of asses out there, and a huge difference in my willingness to see them exposed but I'd rather see any bare ass than some freaky lack of ass.

Living in a hedonistic place like Key West, I have seen a lot of asses--covered, barely covered, and uncovered. And trust me when I tell you a lot of them made me wish I was looking at nothing, as that would be preferable. At least with no ass, one can look at it like a train wreck, in fascination, not nauseated by disgust.

Of course, I would probably look just fine in assless chaps, as I have been told that my ass is one of my better features. Since my face is never brought up in these conversations, I am still not sure if this is a compliment or an insult.

I mean I assume laughing ones ass of isn't neat. There'd be blood and gore and horror involved.

Not necessarily. Depends on how the ass is removed. If it is violent, sure, but what if one has one's ass surgically removed? But I digress, as we are talking about laughing one's ass off. Now, I can't comment on anyone else's experience with this, but I know when *I* laughed my ass off, there was no blood, no gore, no horror. Merely a loud "fffttttt!!!" and my ass disappeared into a puff of smoke. Vaporized, if you will.

"What? Vaporized? A body can vaporize?"
"Oh, yeah! Absolutely, sir."

I put way too much thought into this

"Ya think, DiNozzo?"

This thread includes the word ass too many times.

I don't think I am alone in the opinion that you can never have too much ass.

Personally (and obviously I'm biased) it would be funnier with, um, Birtish "arse".

Yes, you are biased. It is far funnier with "ass." "Arse" is far too polite a word (at least to my American ears) to be in a discussion about asses, or the lack thereof.

[AriRashkae]

All 4 are shirts, one has a lace miniskirt trim. There's a matching hooded sweat and hat too. >.>

I have seen the shirt in question.

Although, I could probably rock the grey camo or the solid black ones.

[Victoria J]

Yes, you are biased. It is far funnier with "ass." "Arse" is far too polite a word (at least to my American ears) to be in a discussion about asses, or the lack thereof.

But then you'd be an arse-less chap in arse-less chaps...

I always thought arse was much ruder than ass. Partly just that it sounds harsher.

I withdraw all other pedantic arguments on the grounds that as you are the only person to actually have laughed your ass off I have no alternative evidence with which to disprove what you say.

Victoria J