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  • #46

    Duck King

    He was……basically the fashion equivalent of epilepsy. An eye searing aberration of neon colours that dragged the gaze kicking and screaming to his person. I will attempt to describe it in detail, though some features were somewhat blurred by the chromatic intensity bombarding my optic nerves. First of all he, yes he, was wearing tights and a miniskirt. Cept the tights were two different colours. One leg was neon green, the other was neon pink. The neon pink leg had a neon green shoe, and the neon green leg had a neon pink shoe. You know, you have to make sure to coordinate your outfits.

    He had furnished these Crayola chicken legs with a baby blue miniskirt and what appeared to be the upper half of his mom’s bath robe. Over top of that he was wearing a black vest and, just for accents, neon pink and green gloves. But it did not end there. Oh no. He had firmly grasped his passport and crossed the border into the land of freak, but he had not yet applied for permanent residency. That’s where the matching neon pink and green eye shadow came in. Never mind the lipstick and the glitter. Of course he had numerous facial piercings as well. Than, just to top the whole look off, he was wearing a black fedora.

    It might have been slightly less absurd if he looked like he had any sort of shame or was at least somewhat aware that he was a throbbing blight on the landscape. However, he appeared to believe himself incredibly cool. How he came to this conclusion eludes me. That outfit would make you an social outcast in Teletubbyland.
    On a completely different tangent, I can confirm that this guy exists! I saw him on my way home this evening, although it appears that he prefers to tone it down during the week with pastels instead of neons. You know, business casual.
    -"One ring to rule them all!"-Elias
    -Ask yourself, "WWRKHTSCCJ:TMD?"

    Comment


    • #47
      Quoth BusBus View Post
      On a completely different tangent, I can confirm that this guy exists! I saw him on my way home this evening, although it appears that he prefers to tone it down during the week with pastels instead of neons. You know, business casual.
      Fedora? Facial piercings? Looks like a rejected Batman villain?

      Comment


      • #48
        Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
        Fedora? Facial piercings? Looks like a rejected Batman villain?
        I didn't get a clear look at his face. But if he had Joker makeup on, it would not have surprised me.

        One legging was baby pink and the other was baby blue. In the name of colour co-ordination, he was wearing a baby blue high top runner on his baby pink leg and a baby pink runner on his baby blue leg.

        It's a bad scene when you stand out in Downtown amongst various gaudy Christmas displays.

        My reflexes were not quick enough to take a photo.
        Next time....
        -"One ring to rule them all!"-Elias
        -Ask yourself, "WWRKHTSCCJ:TMD?"

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        • #49
          Quoth BusBus View Post
          It's Portland ORwhen you stand out in Downtown amongst various gaudy Christmas displays.
          ..
          Believe me it's true

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          • #50
            Quoth BusBus View Post
            One legging was baby pink and the other was baby blue. In the name of colour co-ordination, he was wearing a baby blue high top runner on his baby pink leg and a baby pink runner on his baby blue leg.
            Sounds like him, he had a sort of Two Face alternating colour scheme going on? ><

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            • #51
              Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
              Sounds like him, he had a sort of Two Face alternating colour scheme going on? ><
              Precisely! I hope that it was him.....god help us if there are two of them running around town.
              -"One ring to rule them all!"-Elias
              -Ask yourself, "WWRKHTSCCJ:TMD?"

              Comment


              • #52
                Quoth BusBus View Post
                Precisely! I hope that it was him.....god help us if there are two of them running around town.
                You know, independent verification of the freaks I see is kind of scary in a way. ;p

                Comment


                • #53
                  Hahaha. So many of these happen at my job on a daily basis.

                  The WORST one is the eating thing. I just get so disgusted when I hear that bag of chips rustling. Even worse was when I used to respond to postal mail at my work... you would get letters covered in who-knows-what. Usually some sort of brown or green liquid, which I'm going to pretend for my sanity's sake is just coffee (the brown kind, anyway).

                  Also, the "give me a lucky ticket" thing... I just about bashed my head on the keyboard after I read that. The company I work for deals with a sweepstakes, and this is how almost ALL of my calls end (even though I'm on tech support)...

                  ME: Okay, is there anything else I can help you with today?
                  SC: You can make me a winner! Ha ha ha ha ha!

                  And they proceed to laugh like, A) They've just come out with the most hilarious statement in the world, and B) They're the FIRST person to ever say that. I usually respond with a forced chuckle and something like "Ohhh, well you know I can't do that, but I wish you luck!". I went through a phase of just remaining silent, but I grew tired of listening to them laugh at their own joke for 5 minutes after. At least this cuts them off.

                  Also, the lovely quarrel about returning items... ahhhh. I LOVE that one. That's right, Sucky Customer, YOU chose the wrong size, YOU don't like the product, that means YOU return it. And yes, YOU pay the gosh-darn return postage! No, it's not our fault, there is a clear picture in the mailing from which you ordered the product, maybe you should have looked at it a little closer. Or read the nice little descriptive paragraph beside the picture so you know what you're getting.

                  The best response to this is "Ugh. Well if I have to pay out of my own pocket to return it, then I'm just going to keep the stupid thing." Okay, so let me get this straight... you'd rather pay upwards of $20 for something you supposedly hate, than pay like $4 to return it? We know you're either going to return it anyway, or you'll actually keep it just to spite us. Guess what, we don't care what you do with the darn item! And I'm sure you know exactly where I'd like to tell you to stick it!

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
                    You know, independent verification of the freaks I see is kind of scary in a way. ;p
                    I can certainly see why -- that would mean that they're either spreading like the virus that they are, or they're part of a larger group. They're going to go around until all of the normal people have gouged their eyes out in horror, then the freaky dressers will be able to conquer the world by default...

                    Wasn't it Dogbert who said that he hopes for global Peace/disarmament, because it would then allow him to conquer the entire planet with a butter knife?
                    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
                      You know, independent verification of the freaks I see is kind of scary in a way. ;p
                      Because it suggests that they are real and not merely hallucinations?
                      -"One ring to rule them all!"-Elias
                      -Ask yourself, "WWRKHTSCCJ:TMD?"

                      Comment

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