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Seriously. I really hate my job sometimes. Bulk of the time I don't belive the shit that happens, and it makes me more bitter and hateful everyday. Today had to be one of the worst days.
Your racist cause I'm stealing!
A woman came in, and asked for the price and if she could have a case of 4-loko. Whichis like, 22 ozs of caffinated beer. I told her the price, and she wanted. But I told her it be a moment cause I had to many people in the store. She said ok.
She went to cooler, held door open, and had her hand on a 4-loko. I was waiting on people, but keeping an eye on her cause she held her hand on that beer, and stared at me. She even smiled, while keeping her hand on that beer when I waved after i dealt with two customers while she kpet that up. Finally someone asked me a question, I turned me head from her for a second, heard the beer cooler slam shut, turned back and saw one beer missing and her walking up to me saying she changed her mind. I demanded beer back.
LADY: OH MY FUCKING GAWD! Can you belive this racist shit!? I'm <race> So I'm fucking thief! LOOK THROUGH MY BAG! I PUT YOUR FUCKING BEER back you <Endless rant on my looks, profession, intelligence and sexallity> While she stormed out. Yeah, the experence thieves shoved beer in their sleeves. Which is waht you did. The dumb ones take too long like you did.
My old nemesis returns...
A few years ago at Hellstore (A different, about as equal to my current store) I dealt with a customer. First time he came in, he seemed nice. Introduced himself, was polite. Said stories. However he was just a good enough thief to catch me off guard the first time he came in. After he left, I checked. Saw What he he took, wrote it off. It was just an ice cream pint and a soda.
A few hours later he comes back. Ooh, he looks like he has bag. But he is holding up his wallet that he said he forgot. Fine. I Figured I make him pay. He's taking his time watching me, while I'm watching through the camera. Oh, there goes a bag of chips in bag. Oh, there goes can of tuna in bag. He comes back up with just a fountain soda. He puts his bag on the counter. He searchs his wallet.
SC: "Oh, I forgot my FOODStamp card, I'll have to come
ME: How about I take my stuff back from here?! you thieveing asswhole!
ME: *Grab his bag*
He screams no. We have a tag of rule where he managed to pull me over the counter. customers are rooting for one or the other. He swearing he not a thief. He runs fro the door, but a bigger customer blocked him. Bag guy sucked side tripped and escaped.
Sans to last week, On the the 17. He comes in. I remember him. Its hard to forget him. He has long blond hair. Sparklling green eyes. A look of dumbness. Neatly dressed. I knew it was the same bastard I fought at hell store. He comes up buy a bottle of coke and he looks at me.
SC: Hey, are you new? I haven't seen you here. I come here all the time.
ME: NO. <Rrice>
SC: Everyone loves me here
ME: Fine. Thive. Here your change.
SC!"? WHAT YOU CALL ME!?
ME: A thief. Someone that steals. you stole Ice cream, and tried to throw fist at me at store 113!
SC: OH that bullshit! I JUST MOVED here from Florida yesteday! I never done it!
I want your numbe. I'm going to do everything to get your fired beause you have no right to talk to me like that.
ME: I can talk like that to thieving scumbags, now lleave my store NOW.
He leaves. I of course get so much as a notice. I report to muy boss. It shes igned the reported.
Today he comes in while I'm in the cooler. I'm walking out and seeing stuffing a box of cereal into his coal.
ME: GAWDDAMN THATS WHAT I MEANT YOU STUPID THEIVING SONOFABTCH GIVE IT BACK!
SC: *eyes bulge out, drops the cereal from inside his coat then laughs. "You reall got a hard one thiefs huh??" he says as he leaves. Hopefully for the last time. Though I wouldn't mind fighting him again. And this time I'm make him hurt.
I don't dates uglies so don't try
Young kinda hot girl comes up. I'm about so say hi what can I do
Me: Hey what ca-
SC: I don't date uglies so save your breath. Pack of camels.
ME: *Oh please forget it* May I see your ID card?
SC: Hands it to me, keeping her fingers on her address. " Don't want ugglies knowing where I live. You go to where I work to see menaked. I don't strip in the uglies."
Just. Wow. She leaves though. Not without tearing my low eseme even further. I wasn't even thinking of asking her out.
Kitties have Big Pals...
There is a brown/black scarywny kitty I feed outside work. He meows for me, jumps on the windows for attention, and I biy some can food and feed him. He happy.
Today Cat was at door meowiing and I was about to go out, whne some shit kicked her. LIKE FIELD KICKED HER. I didn't know where she landed, but she took off. He laughed at it. I called him names. He thought it was funny. I told him it was sick and stupid. Lady coming up said that was buster friend, and buster didn't people picking on hjis friends. Lady then unleashed collor, lady pointed to scumbag. Dog chased after guy. Guy didn't get too far, and slammed behind a wall and bit a few times before the lady could calm buster down. I laughed all the while at it.
I just hope that stray cat comes back.
Your racist cause I'm stealing!
A woman came in, and asked for the price and if she could have a case of 4-loko. Whichis like, 22 ozs of caffinated beer. I told her the price, and she wanted. But I told her it be a moment cause I had to many people in the store. She said ok.
She went to cooler, held door open, and had her hand on a 4-loko. I was waiting on people, but keeping an eye on her cause she held her hand on that beer, and stared at me. She even smiled, while keeping her hand on that beer when I waved after i dealt with two customers while she kpet that up. Finally someone asked me a question, I turned me head from her for a second, heard the beer cooler slam shut, turned back and saw one beer missing and her walking up to me saying she changed her mind. I demanded beer back.
LADY: OH MY FUCKING GAWD! Can you belive this racist shit!? I'm <race> So I'm fucking thief! LOOK THROUGH MY BAG! I PUT YOUR FUCKING BEER back you <Endless rant on my looks, profession, intelligence and sexallity> While she stormed out. Yeah, the experence thieves shoved beer in their sleeves. Which is waht you did. The dumb ones take too long like you did.
My old nemesis returns...
A few years ago at Hellstore (A different, about as equal to my current store) I dealt with a customer. First time he came in, he seemed nice. Introduced himself, was polite. Said stories. However he was just a good enough thief to catch me off guard the first time he came in. After he left, I checked. Saw What he he took, wrote it off. It was just an ice cream pint and a soda.
A few hours later he comes back. Ooh, he looks like he has bag. But he is holding up his wallet that he said he forgot. Fine. I Figured I make him pay. He's taking his time watching me, while I'm watching through the camera. Oh, there goes a bag of chips in bag. Oh, there goes can of tuna in bag. He comes back up with just a fountain soda. He puts his bag on the counter. He searchs his wallet.
SC: "Oh, I forgot my FOODStamp card, I'll have to come
ME: How about I take my stuff back from here?! you thieveing asswhole!
ME: *Grab his bag*
He screams no. We have a tag of rule where he managed to pull me over the counter. customers are rooting for one or the other. He swearing he not a thief. He runs fro the door, but a bigger customer blocked him. Bag guy sucked side tripped and escaped.
Sans to last week, On the the 17. He comes in. I remember him. Its hard to forget him. He has long blond hair. Sparklling green eyes. A look of dumbness. Neatly dressed. I knew it was the same bastard I fought at hell store. He comes up buy a bottle of coke and he looks at me.
SC: Hey, are you new? I haven't seen you here. I come here all the time.
ME: NO. <Rrice>
SC: Everyone loves me here
ME: Fine. Thive. Here your change.
SC!"? WHAT YOU CALL ME!?
ME: A thief. Someone that steals. you stole Ice cream, and tried to throw fist at me at store 113!
SC: OH that bullshit! I JUST MOVED here from Florida yesteday! I never done it!
I want your numbe. I'm going to do everything to get your fired beause you have no right to talk to me like that.
ME: I can talk like that to thieving scumbags, now lleave my store NOW.
He leaves. I of course get so much as a notice. I report to muy boss. It shes igned the reported.
Today he comes in while I'm in the cooler. I'm walking out and seeing stuffing a box of cereal into his coal.
ME: GAWDDAMN THATS WHAT I MEANT YOU STUPID THEIVING SONOFABTCH GIVE IT BACK!
SC: *eyes bulge out, drops the cereal from inside his coat then laughs. "You reall got a hard one thiefs huh??" he says as he leaves. Hopefully for the last time. Though I wouldn't mind fighting him again. And this time I'm make him hurt.
I don't dates uglies so don't try
Young kinda hot girl comes up. I'm about so say hi what can I do
Me: Hey what ca-
SC: I don't date uglies so save your breath. Pack of camels.
ME: *Oh please forget it* May I see your ID card?
SC: Hands it to me, keeping her fingers on her address. " Don't want ugglies knowing where I live. You go to where I work to see menaked. I don't strip in the uglies."
Just. Wow. She leaves though. Not without tearing my low eseme even further. I wasn't even thinking of asking her out.
Kitties have Big Pals...
There is a brown/black scarywny kitty I feed outside work. He meows for me, jumps on the windows for attention, and I biy some can food and feed him. He happy.
Today Cat was at door meowiing and I was about to go out, whne some shit kicked her. LIKE FIELD KICKED HER. I didn't know where she landed, but she took off. He laughed at it. I called him names. He thought it was funny. I told him it was sick and stupid. Lady coming up said that was buster friend, and buster didn't people picking on hjis friends. Lady then unleashed collor, lady pointed to scumbag. Dog chased after guy. Guy didn't get too far, and slammed behind a wall and bit a few times before the lady could calm buster down. I laughed all the while at it.
I just hope that stray cat comes back.
I hope the kitty comes back, too. And I want to buy that lady and buster a drink. Several drinks.
to the lady and Buster. And for the kitty kicker, a ride through the Chipmobile! 
Believe it or not, but there are *many* women like that.
It'd go something like this (though usually a lot more wordy and witty):
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