Olympic Double Header ( Now with 100% more molestation )

[Andara Bledin]

Feel free, that does seem to be my primary function here. Sig generator. >.>

No, no, your primary function is to keep us entertained. Sig generation is a secondary priority.

^-.-^

[Jester]

Perhaps I’m a bit of an eccentric fellow myself, but my keys are always in my pocket. Would that not be the very first place you look? In fact does not looking for your keys in your pocket and finding them missing trigger the entire panicked search for missing keys to begin with? I would dare say you can’t even declare them missing until after you have checked your pockets.

I am going to slightly side with the caller here, as I have actually lost my keys in my pocket. Of course, I have a lot of pockets, some of them are really large, sometimes I get holes in them, and sometimes my keys get tangled up with something else, say other keys, and I miss them in my pocket search. (I keep my car keys separate from my other keys, so the mass of metal that are my collection of keys does not weigh down on my ignition when I am driving.)

Ironically, just tonight I lost my car keys at the grocery store. I got out to the Jestermobile, and...they were gone! Now, I knew I had them when I got there, as I had driven to the grocery store, and I certainly would have noticed them missing then if they had been. They were not in the ignition nor on the seat, nor were they under or around the mighty Jestermobile. Getting slightly panicked, I checked all my grocery bags, triple-checked my pockets, quadruple-checked my mass of keys (and the Russians say we can't do quads!), and quickly hurried back into the grocery store. The guy at the customer service desk so no one had turned in any keys, so I re-traced my steps around the store. Nothing on the floor in the produce aisle by the peppers. Nothing at the wing bar where I had been lustfully eyeing the Spring Break girls. Not a sign of them by the pork. Not even anything key-like near the canned tomatoes, even though I had had to kneel down to get the ones I wanted from the bottom shelf, and that would have seemed the most likely spot. Feeling quite panicked, I continued my route to the checkout.....and at the last moment, spotted them right by the self-checkout I had checked myself out at, on the floor. Still not sure how they fell out of my pocket THERE, but hell, I was thrilled to have them.

And then I promptly put them back in my pocket. Silly me.

SC: “Remember, Jesus is coming back like a thief in the night so be on the watch, ok?”
Me: “…okay.”

Note to self: Jesus really is coming back but it’s not for our salvation, it’s for our stereo.

Actually, Jesus deals more with fine silver and art. Moses is the guy swiping the electronics. Don't even ask about John the Baptist. You really don't want to know.

Me: “Alright, do you have a pen there?”
SC: “Oh, no. Wait, hold on. Maybe I’ll find one….”

And maybe Megan Fox will knock on my door in a skimpy bikini with a twelve pack of beer and a bottle of fine rum, but I'm not holding my breath for that one, either!

Of course, upon escaping the main maple mass, I encountered the peripheral packs of roving American fans who upon scenting maple upon me, informed me extremely loudly that they were going to commit repeated unlawful sexual assaults on my person of a nature that typically occurs in prison shower facilities. Though the actual terms they used were not quite that polite.

With so many people from so many places gathered in Vancouver for the games, how the heck could the Americans so accurately ascertain that you were, in fact, a native?

Of course, who would want to go around with a name like Yes, apart from Steve Howe and Rick Wakeman?

If I had to guess, I would say Chris Squire, Jon Anderson, Peter Banks, Trevor Rabin, Billy Sherwood, Tony Kaye, Patrick Moraz, Geoff Downes, Igor Khoroshev, Bill Bruford, Alan White, Trevor Horn, Benoit David, and Oliver Wakeman.

But that's purely just a guess.

[Soulstealer]

With so many people from so many places gathered in Vancouver for the games, how the heck could the Americans so accurately ascertain that you were, in fact, a native?

He looked like he knew where he was going, he was sober, he didn't have a flag on his clothing, or they just have a sense for these things.

Pick a reason and while you're at it find out how I get asked for directions to places I've just arrived and have no knowledge of where anything is without google maps?

[Jester]

...find out how I get asked for directions to places I've just arrived and have no knowledge of where anything is without google maps?

Oh, that one's easy. People are idiots. And will ask anyone for directions, assuming that someone else has to be more knowledgable about the are than they are since they are, after all, idiots.

[Gravekeeper]

With so many people from so many places gathered in Vancouver for the games, how the heck could the Americans so accurately ascertain that you were, in fact, a native?

I probably said "Pardon me" when I tried to go past them. Thus immediately identifying myself as Canadian. -.-

[Jester]

There is that. Politeness after a major sporting event? Definitely Canadian.

[Andara Bledin]

I probably said "Pardon me" when I tried to go past them. Thus immediately identifying myself as Canadian. -.-

I was always polite when I was up there for the World Figure Skating Championships and nobody mistook me for a native.

It's probably good that I only say "excuse me" and "pardon me" in English when I'm around strangers. When I'm around people I know, I tend to use French, for absolutely no discernible reason.

^-.-^

[JustaCashier]

It's probably good that I only say "excuse me" and "pardon me" in English when I'm around strangers. When I'm around people I know, I tend to use French......

....Like "Get the fuck outta my way"?


Mike

[Andara Bledin]

....Like "Get the fuck outta my way"?

Funny. But, no. I just use French for "excuse me" and "pardon" when I'm somewhere familiar. I couldn't even begin to tell you why, except I use a lot of foreign words, and not a few that I've made up.

^-.-^

[Magpie]

Funny. But, no. I just use French for "excuse me" and "pardon" when I'm somewhere familiar. I couldn't even begin to tell you why, except I use a lot of foreign words, and not a few that I've made up.

^-.-^

I do that too! It's really embarassing when you throw your random French into the conversation and only remember after the fact that the person you're talking to is Quebequois/from New Brunswick/from St. Boniface/etc. And yes, I've had people get upset with me for not being sure which language I'm speaking, but that's not as big a deal.