Thank you for not wising up 30 seconds earlier

[Victoria J]

Background : our system isn't complicated. We basically give out raffle/cloakroom tickets to people so we can call people through without revealing their name to everyone else. We work out how many people we can see and that's the number of tickets. You have a problem you need a ticket. You're with someone who has their own problem - they need a ticket. You're with someone and you are just keeping each other company you don't.

So I get 2 people who have 2 tickets and have argued with the receptionist to tell her they have 2 seperate problems. Same address. Both want to know about benefit entitlement. They don't speak a lot of English. The man points to the woman's stomach and says "baby".

Me : She's pregnant.
SC : Yes.
Me : Oh. Are you 2 together ?
SC :
Me : Are you her partner :
SC :
Me : Are you a couple ?
SC :
Me : Is it your baby ?
SC :
Me : *pointing* boyfriend/girlfriend
SC : *angrily* I'M HER HUSBAND !!!!

If he got so angry about that I am so very very very relieved he didn't understand when I asked if it was his baby. I didn't think until afterwards how offensive that could be (I thought they weren't together).

They were really only one customer - so I got to see one less person. Hooray.

Victoria J.

[Zellie Crescent]

Sadly from what I've seen just because you're her husband doesn't mean your her baby's father.

[Magpie]

Sadly from what I've seen just because you're her husband doesn't mean your her baby's father.

Be that as it may, it can still be an offensive question. As to the original situation, I suppose that if he's going to get that upset when you finally manage to communicate what it is that you're asking, anything could happen. However, I would have thought that if he doesn't speak the language he'd have understood that you were trying to get information, not that you were implying he was wearing horns.

[Victoria J]

Be that as it may, it can still be an offensive question.

Exactly.

However, I would have thought that if he doesn't speak the language he'd have understood that you were trying to get information, not that you were implying he was wearing horns.

He was REALLY angry I suggested he was her boyfriend instead of knowing he was her husband.

They aren't using the same last name either. So I don't know how I was meant to know.

When I asked about the baby it was because I was thinking they weren't a couple and that would finally make him explain that. It is very common for friends and flatmates to come in to interpret and offer moral support.

Still it beats having to ask where you don't know if someone's in a same sex relationship. A couple of years back they changes the rules so as well as deciding you are "living together as husband and wife" and treating you as a couple for benefit purposes (a really complicated thing in itself) they can do the same for same sex couples. I think the worst so far was 2 very young women living in the same rented room. They were also all squeezed up close in the waiting room, and touching each other. I HAD to ask as I was doing a calcualtion where a partner's income would need to be included. They weren't a couple. (Which had been my guess - they mostly reminded me of the kind of friendship younger girls have, which can include being very physically close with no sexual element at all - just far from being certain).

In a job where you sometimes have to ask people how they go to the toilet I guess you get used to these things. In fact the thing that always embarrassed me most was paternity disputes...

Victoria J