The Plight Of Mr Fufukins

[Mr Hero]

There's a music store near my home with a big sign over the racks of guitars that says

NO
STAIRWAY!

No Stairway. Denied.

It's all I could think of.

[Jester]

Also, it’s 6:30 in the morning! How the hell are you already drunk?!

I'd like to field this one.

As one of the resident drunks/partiers here, I know from experience how one can be drunk at 6:30 in the morning. More often than not, it is not that they woke up early and started drinking, but that they are either up very late and still partying from the night before, or that they have slept, but are still drunk from the previous night's partying.

Hell, this very thing happened to me this weekend. Monday I was still quite snockered when we went to breakfast. At noon. Then again, this was a legendary weekend that involved squid pasta, a geologist, extraneous strippers, skinny dipping, and Swiss lawyers. (Yes, there will be a post sometime soon about it all.) So yeah, someone being drunk at 6:30 am doesn't surprise me in the slightest.

SC: “Hesh not up?! I jush got up!! He should be!”

Ah, so he didn't party all night. He drank heavily the night before and woke up still looped. Of course, it is conceivable that he woke up and started drinking, but my experience has been that if you just got up, as the caller says he did, you would not be plowed that quickly unless you had been drinking the night before. I speak with some expertise on the matter.

And this attitude of his, that they should be up because he is, is probably the very philosophy behind my idiot friend who, despite years of verbal lashing, still insists on calling me during early morning hours when I am not only not conscious, but very, very unpleasant. So I therefore now hate this caller of yours on principle.

No, no he is not. It is 6:30am on a Saturday. Unlike you, he hasn’t been trapped in an unending loop of heavy drinking and random bouts of unconsciousness since, well, June.

1997 here. Just saying.

Also, I was working from the benefit of the doubt, assuming that maybe you were just on the last legs of another fantastic bender. But you say you just got up? So you somehow managed to achieve twice the legal blood alcohol limit between your bed and the phone?

That's rather impressive.

"Fantastic bender" is actually a phrase that I've been using to describe the last few days. "Legendary" is another one. But I don't think I'm going out on too much of a limb when I say that my bender has been far more entertaining than his. Mine has not involved a trailer, a trailer park, or trailer park-quality alcohol. And I somehow doubt that his has involved being in any bars that feature drag queens.

And I also strongly suspect your caller did not achieve his level of BAC between the bed and the phone, but as stated above, from the previous night's festivities. I'd be willing to bet a shot of quality rum on that one.

Very rarely on it we get French callers. Always throws me, because they're polite and articulate.

Yes, French people being polite would throw me too.

There's a music store near my home with a big sign over the racks of guitars that says

NO
STAIRWAY!

And I don't think it's there to tell people not to climb on the racks, either...

I have to wonder if the store is doing it as an in-joke referencing the infamous scene from "Wayne's World." Or perhaps they are just sick of that song. Sort of like some of the bands I've seen in bars that have signs that say they take requests, but that getting them to play "Freebird" will cost a $100 tip.

Then again, what the fuck do I know? I'm in the middle of a fantastic bender.

[Magpie]

There's a music store near my home with a big sign over the racks of guitars that says

NO
STAIRWAY!

I thought that the rule was generally no "Smoke on the Water". The last time my mom bought a new guitar she spent an hour or so in the store trying them out (next time, I bring my knitting). She was just doing some really easy pieces that she has memorized because she uses them as warm-ups. She later said that she felt rather embarrassed about how basic what she was playing was (probably grade 1 Conservatory, if that). However, when she got to the checkout she was told that she was a nice change. I could have told her that - most people are going to be chording. (Heck, when Jackdaw and I bought our keyboard all we could do in-store was scales. It was extremely embarrassing).

Yes, French people being polite would throw me too.

Quebecois(e), Jester. Not French.

[Sapphire Silk]

Thank you, Gravekeeper, for another entertaining installment.

I've learned a valuable lesson from this. Don't read Gravekeeper's posts when proctoring an exam (I'm using my own laptop, not the work computer). Snickering distracts the students.

[TheRabbi]

Me: “Alright, what size?”
SC: “….meeeeeeeeeeeedium.”
Me: “What colour?”
SC: “Blaaaaaaaaack, bro”

You have to give him credit: at least he gave you straight-up correct answers to your questions.

From this, we can conclude that drug use destroys less brain cells than living in Nunavut does.

[Becks]

Though I warn you I don’t have anything in the colour “I CAN SEE GOD”.

*pout* That's the color I was looking for.

No Stairway. Denied.

Wayne's World. Awesome.