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Not all of these stories happened at once, Thank God. They have taken place over the past two weeks.
I think I've got around about a month before I leave the pub completely. I cannot wait until I start my new job.
Umbrella Part One
This story involves one of my least favourite regular customers. She comes in all the time, but I have never seen her spend a penny. She always mooches off her "friends" and "shares" a bottle of wine with them. None of them seem to have caught on that she is using them to get free alcohol. She is also very entitled and acts as though she is queen bee of the pub.
So I have just finished my shift and it is absolutely pouring down with rain. I am at the end of the bar, and I am getting an umbrella out my bag, getting ready to leave. The woman storms up to the bar.
W: Oh! You have an umbrella! I'll have that!
She actually went to take it off me.
Me: Ermm...no! It's mine.
W: But look at the rain! I don't have a coat! Come on, be a man!
Me: You are not getting my umbrella.
W: Look! I'm the customer and...
Me: No! Go away.
W: How selfish are you?!?!
Me: Yeah, whatever.
I walked out, put my umbrella up and shot her a very cheeky smile and walked off.
Sighting - Umbrella Part Two
This is a sighting. I was walking into a store, when I suddenly heard:
SC: 'EY! YOU! 'OW MUCH IS THIS!?!?!
I looked over, and saw a "lady" holding a beach umbrella, and she was talking to me.
Me: How would I know?
I walked away.
SC: RUUUUUUUUUDDDDDEEE!!
Don't Say That To Someone Who Doesn't Care
There was a mix up with an order and a co-worker put through an incorrect table number. So I had a ticket for table 10, but no one was sat there. I found a small group of people at table 9, and asked if the order was for them.
SC: Yes, that is our food. We are at table 9.
Me: OK, I will just get your food right now.
SC: You would think you would remember the number 9! It's the same number as your I.Q after all!
He was deadly serious. I went back for the meals.
Me: OK, who ordered the cheeseburger?
SC1: Me.
I put it down in front of SC2. They looked very confused.
Me: And the steak?
SC2: Uuuhhh...me?
I gave it to SC3. I put down all four meals in front of the wrong person.
SC: Huh? That's not right. You have handed us the wrong meals!
Me: Oh I have? Sorry, I'm stuuuuuuuuuuupid.
I walked away. Amazingly, they didn't complain. I think even I would have complained about me.
Being Spineless Can Backfire
A co-worker was sweeping up some food that had fallen under a table, so she moved a chair out to make her job easier. The next thing we know, an SC is causing a massive scene. He is shouting and screaming at co-worker.
SC: I NEARLY FELL OVER THE CHAIR YOU MOVED! YOU STUPID LITTLE GIRL! YOU BLOCKED MY PATH! WHAT IF I HURT MYSELF!
CW: Sir, I...
SC: DO NOT ANSWER ME BACK! DID YOU DO IT ON PURPOSE?! I SAW YOU MOVE THE CHAIR RIGHT AS I WAS WALKING PAST! YOU TRIED TO TRIP ME UP!
Suddenly, the SC's wife came over and joined in.
SCW: MY HUSBAND IS RIGHT! YOU HAVE RUINED OUR EVENING!
CW didn't know what to do, so she simply turned around and ran into the back room.
SC/SCW: GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!
Spineless Manager went over.
SM: Sir, please calm down, and tell me what happened.
The SC's went into a full tirade about how co-worker had moved the chair, blocked the path to their table, and how they nearly injured themselves because of it. They kept refering to co-worker as "that stupid little girl" whilst spineless manager simply said "Yes sir...I understand sir...yes of course..."
Spineless Manager gave them a complete refund on the meals they had already eaten, and told them they could have free drinks the next time they visited. Everyone behind the bar stood frozen to the spot. We could not believe he was caving into these horrible people.
SM: So like I said, next time you come in, it's drinks on the house. I am sorry you did not enjoy your experience.
SC: Thank you. I hope you deal with that stupid little girl.
SM: I will. Good evening Sir.
The SC's left.
Me: Just so you know, I am not serving them next time they come in.
A couple of co-workers jumped in, agreeing with me.
SM: What?
Me: That was terrible. You rewarded their terrible behaviour. The whole situation was bullshit to get free food.
CW2: You'd better hope next time they come in, you're on duty, because no one here is going to serve them.
SM: Yes you will.
Me: Nope, we have the right to refuse service, and I am NOT serving them.
CW came out from the back room. Upon hearing about their refunds, she yelled:
CW: WHAT?!! How could you? You saw what they did!
SM: Well we don't want to lose customers...
CW: We want to lose customers like that!
CW spent the rest of her shift seething with rage. She went on the floor and kept out of SM's way, because she was ready to lash out.
The next day, Boss Lady learned what happened, and put up a notice.
NO CUSTOMERS ARE TO RECIEVE DRINKS ON THE HOUSE.
Apparently she chewed SM out big time
And finally...
This story is a little epic. It involves a different manager from the previous story.
A scumbag customer walked into the pub, but did not go to the bar. He had been in the pub for about half an hour, so DM went over to discretely have a look and see what was going on. He was shocked to see the SC sat in the corner with his own six pack of beer, drinking it quite happily.
DM: Oh, sorry sir, you cannot bring your own drink in here.
SC: Well I am not paying your prices!
DM: Well sir, if you do not want to pay our prices, then I am afraid I am going to have to ask you to leave. You cannot bring outside drink in here.
SC: You fucking piece of shit!
The SC got right up in DM's face. DM was quite alarmed, but stood his ground.
DM: Sir, please calm down and make your way outside.
SC: NO! YOU BASTARD! I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE!
DM: Sir, if you do not leave, I will call the police and have them remove you.
SC: DO YOUR BEST! FAG!
DM calmly walked behind the bar and called the police. The SC followed, still clutching his own can of beer.
DM: Sir, the police are on their way, I suggest you leave before they get here.
The SC again got in DM's face.
DM said he knew it was coming, but everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, and he was powerless to stop it...
...the SC spat in DM's face.
DM reacted instinctively, and punched the SC in the face. It was a superb right hook. The SC crumpled into a heap on the floor, spilling his beer everywhere. DM stood there for about a minute, shaking. A regular customer who was stood at the end of the bar jumped in.
RC: Well! Don't stop there! Beat the fucking scumbag!
RC ran up and kicked the SC in the stomach. DM finally moved.
DM: No, RC! The police are on the way! Don't get yourself in trouble!
The SC lay on the ground groaning. He was completely dazed.
The police arrived a couple of minutes later and took the SC away. The police stayed and took statements, although we all left out the part about RC kicking the guy in the stomach (RC is one of the few very good customers). DM isn't going to get in any trouble for hitting the guy, as spitting in someone's face is seen as assault, and DM was acting in self defence. DM decided not to press charges against the SC, and settled for having him banned from the pub for life.
I think I've got around about a month before I leave the pub completely. I cannot wait until I start my new job.
Umbrella Part One
This story involves one of my least favourite regular customers. She comes in all the time, but I have never seen her spend a penny. She always mooches off her "friends" and "shares" a bottle of wine with them. None of them seem to have caught on that she is using them to get free alcohol. She is also very entitled and acts as though she is queen bee of the pub.
So I have just finished my shift and it is absolutely pouring down with rain. I am at the end of the bar, and I am getting an umbrella out my bag, getting ready to leave. The woman storms up to the bar.
W: Oh! You have an umbrella! I'll have that!
She actually went to take it off me.
Me: Ermm...no! It's mine.
W: But look at the rain! I don't have a coat! Come on, be a man!
Me: You are not getting my umbrella.
W: Look! I'm the customer and...
Me: No! Go away.
W: How selfish are you?!?!
Me: Yeah, whatever.
I walked out, put my umbrella up and shot her a very cheeky smile and walked off.
Sighting - Umbrella Part Two
This is a sighting. I was walking into a store, when I suddenly heard:
SC: 'EY! YOU! 'OW MUCH IS THIS!?!?!
I looked over, and saw a "lady" holding a beach umbrella, and she was talking to me.
Me: How would I know?
I walked away.
SC: RUUUUUUUUUDDDDDEEE!!
Don't Say That To Someone Who Doesn't Care
There was a mix up with an order and a co-worker put through an incorrect table number. So I had a ticket for table 10, but no one was sat there. I found a small group of people at table 9, and asked if the order was for them.
SC: Yes, that is our food. We are at table 9.
Me: OK, I will just get your food right now.
SC: You would think you would remember the number 9! It's the same number as your I.Q after all!
He was deadly serious. I went back for the meals.
Me: OK, who ordered the cheeseburger?
SC1: Me.
I put it down in front of SC2. They looked very confused.
Me: And the steak?
SC2: Uuuhhh...me?
I gave it to SC3. I put down all four meals in front of the wrong person.
SC: Huh? That's not right. You have handed us the wrong meals!
Me: Oh I have? Sorry, I'm stuuuuuuuuuuupid.
I walked away. Amazingly, they didn't complain. I think even I would have complained about me.
Being Spineless Can Backfire
A co-worker was sweeping up some food that had fallen under a table, so she moved a chair out to make her job easier. The next thing we know, an SC is causing a massive scene. He is shouting and screaming at co-worker.
SC: I NEARLY FELL OVER THE CHAIR YOU MOVED! YOU STUPID LITTLE GIRL! YOU BLOCKED MY PATH! WHAT IF I HURT MYSELF!
CW: Sir, I...
SC: DO NOT ANSWER ME BACK! DID YOU DO IT ON PURPOSE?! I SAW YOU MOVE THE CHAIR RIGHT AS I WAS WALKING PAST! YOU TRIED TO TRIP ME UP!
Suddenly, the SC's wife came over and joined in.
SCW: MY HUSBAND IS RIGHT! YOU HAVE RUINED OUR EVENING!
CW didn't know what to do, so she simply turned around and ran into the back room.
SC/SCW: GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!
Spineless Manager went over.
SM: Sir, please calm down, and tell me what happened.
The SC's went into a full tirade about how co-worker had moved the chair, blocked the path to their table, and how they nearly injured themselves because of it. They kept refering to co-worker as "that stupid little girl" whilst spineless manager simply said "Yes sir...I understand sir...yes of course..."
Spineless Manager gave them a complete refund on the meals they had already eaten, and told them they could have free drinks the next time they visited. Everyone behind the bar stood frozen to the spot. We could not believe he was caving into these horrible people.
SM: So like I said, next time you come in, it's drinks on the house. I am sorry you did not enjoy your experience.
SC: Thank you. I hope you deal with that stupid little girl.
SM: I will. Good evening Sir.
The SC's left.
Me: Just so you know, I am not serving them next time they come in.
A couple of co-workers jumped in, agreeing with me.
SM: What?
Me: That was terrible. You rewarded their terrible behaviour. The whole situation was bullshit to get free food.
CW2: You'd better hope next time they come in, you're on duty, because no one here is going to serve them.
SM: Yes you will.
Me: Nope, we have the right to refuse service, and I am NOT serving them.
CW came out from the back room. Upon hearing about their refunds, she yelled:
CW: WHAT?!! How could you? You saw what they did!
SM: Well we don't want to lose customers...
CW: We want to lose customers like that!
CW spent the rest of her shift seething with rage. She went on the floor and kept out of SM's way, because she was ready to lash out.
The next day, Boss Lady learned what happened, and put up a notice.
NO CUSTOMERS ARE TO RECIEVE DRINKS ON THE HOUSE.
Apparently she chewed SM out big time
And finally...
This story is a little epic. It involves a different manager from the previous story.
A scumbag customer walked into the pub, but did not go to the bar. He had been in the pub for about half an hour, so DM went over to discretely have a look and see what was going on. He was shocked to see the SC sat in the corner with his own six pack of beer, drinking it quite happily.
DM: Oh, sorry sir, you cannot bring your own drink in here.
SC: Well I am not paying your prices!
DM: Well sir, if you do not want to pay our prices, then I am afraid I am going to have to ask you to leave. You cannot bring outside drink in here.
SC: You fucking piece of shit!
The SC got right up in DM's face. DM was quite alarmed, but stood his ground.
DM: Sir, please calm down and make your way outside.
SC: NO! YOU BASTARD! I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE!
DM: Sir, if you do not leave, I will call the police and have them remove you.
SC: DO YOUR BEST! FAG!
DM calmly walked behind the bar and called the police. The SC followed, still clutching his own can of beer.
DM: Sir, the police are on their way, I suggest you leave before they get here.
The SC again got in DM's face.
DM said he knew it was coming, but everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, and he was powerless to stop it...
...the SC spat in DM's face.
DM reacted instinctively, and punched the SC in the face. It was a superb right hook. The SC crumpled into a heap on the floor, spilling his beer everywhere. DM stood there for about a minute, shaking. A regular customer who was stood at the end of the bar jumped in.
RC: Well! Don't stop there! Beat the fucking scumbag!
RC ran up and kicked the SC in the stomach. DM finally moved.
DM: No, RC! The police are on the way! Don't get yourself in trouble!
The SC lay on the ground groaning. He was completely dazed.
The police arrived a couple of minutes later and took the SC away. The police stayed and took statements, although we all left out the part about RC kicking the guy in the stomach (RC is one of the few very good customers). DM isn't going to get in any trouble for hitting the guy, as spitting in someone's face is seen as assault, and DM was acting in self defence. DM decided not to press charges against the SC, and settled for having him banned from the pub for life.
(we are in England right?? Lol)
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