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  • Flashback from first job

    Memory Lane

    Back in high school, almost 10 years ago now, I worked at a certain pizza buffet that, at the time, was all you can eat for only three ninety-nine. We did not deliver but do allow pick-ups, which were quite common (depending on the day of the week, anywhere from a dozen-3 dozen a night). But at least one every other week we'd get this:

    Me: Thank you for calling <my town>'s <Pizza Place>. How can I help you?
    SC: I'd like to order a pizza.
    Me: Alright, what would you like on it?
    SC: This, this, and this.
    Me: Alright, can I have a phone number in case something comes up, please?
    SC: <gives number>
    Me: And your name?
    SC: Meanie
    Me: Alright, Meanie, we'll have your pizza ready *for pick-up* at 6:00.

    Yes, I'd emphasize the pick up part. Greatly. You can see where this is going.

    At 6:30, the phone would ring.

    Me: <opening lines>
    SC: THIS IS MEANIE! WHERE IS MY PIZZA? YOU PROMISED ME A DELIVERY TIME OF 6:00!
    Me: I'm sorry for the miscommunication, but we do not deliver.
    SC: <ANGRY YELLING WITH CUSSING!> GET YOUR MANAGER ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!

    Um....how do you think we'd get the pizza to you without an address?

    I know, you'd probably wondering why I don't just tell everyone when they say they're ordering pizzas that we don't deliver and it'd have to be for pick up, the simple answer is I couldn't. Customers got angry, yelled, and ranted whenever I did that too.

    SC: I KNOW THAT! DO YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT? I ORDER FROM YOU ALL THE TIME! GET YOUR MANAGER ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!

    The manager told me to stop. Besides, when we do dozens of these pick up orders with no complications using a certain script, it seems unnecessary to change things for the rare non-listener (who may not listen when I say no deliveries anyway).

    I Just Had a Secondary Flashback

    One night I was working all different positions, including busboy (well, girl). While I was doing it, I noticed a customer standing up by the register for a long time and every once in awhile my manager would talk to him. My manager asked me if I worked that afternoon. I told him no, I was working just the dinner shift and then asked him what was going on. The story was:

    The SC was there for two hours (TWO HOURS!) trying to get a free meal. You see, he told us he was there that afternoon for lunch and the person working the buffet was very rude to him. I forget the details of what was said. He described the person working as a Caucasian girl with short hair that was obviously dyed reddish and green eyes. She also had a nose ring and possibly a tattoo. Oh, and no hat or hair net. For this treatment, he thought he should be able to eat dinner for free. The problem was, we had absolutely no body working there matching that description. Furthermore, the only female working that shift was African American, with no piercings (except maybe the ears) or visible tattoos, with long braids. The manager asked me because I was the closest with brown hair with natural red highlights, which, although long, could appear short in a ponytail and brown eyes. I had no nose ring or tattoos, though.

    So my manager told him, basically, "Look, I'm glad you have such a photographic memory and can describe this person in such great detail, but there is no one here fitting that description. And even if there was, that wouldn't entitle you to a free meal, just the employer to disciplinary action." SC wasn't satisfied, and wouldn't leave. My manager would go back and repeat. Eventually manager called his manager who talked to the man on the phone, who basically said the same thing. This still didn't work. I don't know if there was a dramatic ending or what got him to leave. All I know is at one point when I walked out front, he was gone.

    Who would want all you can eat pizza for two meals in a row anyway?

  • #2
    Quoth TexasT View Post
    Um....how do you think we'd get the pizza to you without an address?
    Maybe he expected you to fax it to him?

    .
    Last edited by South Texan; 08-29-2010, 01:02 AM.
    "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
    .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

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    • #3
      Quoth TexasT View Post
      Who would want all you can eat pizza for two meals in a row anyway?
      Are you kidding? I'd be all over that!
      "Wouldn't that be unethical?"
      "That's only an issue for those who aren't already in Hell."
      --Dilbert

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      • #4
        Depending how long ago you worked, lack of a hairnet would not be out of the ordinary. In fact, not all places seem to use them even now.

        Still, I'm surprised he offered such a specific description. Most non-customers wanting freebies know to be a little vague.
        A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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        • #5
          Quoth freaktard View Post
          Are you kidding? I'd be all over that!
          DITTO!

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          • #6
            Who would want all you can eat pizza for two meals in a row anyway?
            If pizza wasn't so bad for you, I had the money to afford it, and my husband would let me, I would totally eat nothing but pizza all the time. That's my favorite food right there!
            Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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            • #7
              I love pepperoni pizza. I'd eat it all day. If I wasn't diabetic.
              Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

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              • #8
                Pizza is my favorite food in the whole world, but my thing is that if it's all you can eat, that means I ate until my stomach hurt at lunch time. I'm not sure I want to do that again at dinner.

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                • #9
                  Quoth South Texan View Post
                  Maybe he expected you to fax it to him?

                  .
                  Now that's the kind of technology I'd like to see . . .although I'm not quite sure it would taste as good coming out of the fax as it would going in.
                  Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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                  • #10
                    I love pizza. Like Hawaiian pizza is my favorite. And I LOVE getting this combination at Papa John's: pepperoni, ham, pineapple, green peppers, mushrooms, and olives. Mmmmm.

                    But yeah...heh, you were supposed to just read his mind and KNOW where he lived, silly! That's how you could give him the pizza!
                    "And so all the night-tide, I lie down by the side of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride!"
                    "Hallo elskan min/Trui ekki hvad timinn lidur"
                    Amayis is my wifey

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                    • #11
                      Oddly enough, supervisors aren't supposed to wear hats or hairnets wear I work, even though we handle food as much as anyone(well, some of us...). I guess the power of the 50 cent raise/salary wards away germs. -_-

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                      • #12
                        Quoth bhskittykatt View Post
                        If pizza wasn't so bad for you, !
                        DOn't be silly -- pizza has all four food groups: Bread/grains, meats, veggies, and dairy Oh yeah, and the bonus group: FastFood (meaning, "you don't wanna know")

                        Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
                        Now that's the kind of technology I'd like to see . . .although I'm not quite sure it would taste as good coming out of the fax as it would going in.
                        Dangit >_< you got to this one first. I'd love to see faxable pizza ^_^
                        "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                        "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                        "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                        "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                        "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                        "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                        Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                        "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                        • #13
                          I see no problem with pizza for several meals in a row. My husband does it all the time (well, pizza rolls). As for me, pancake wrapped sausage dogs for the win!

                          Maybe the person lived at the pizza place, and wanted you to deliver it to them! Remember that funny grate in the floor in that room over there? Well, you turn that grate three rotations counter-clockwise, count to seven slowly, then call out "meanie, meanie, pizza is here!" What appears to be a small rat will emerge from the grate, you must beep it's nose. Then, the trapdoor will slide over and you can deliver the pizza.
                          The tip is excellent.
                          Oh wook at teh widdle babeh dwaggin! How cyuuute babeh dwag-AAAAAAAUUUGGGHHHH! *nom*
                          http://jennovazombie.deviantart.com

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                          • #14
                            Ugh! This reminds me of the guy that came storming into the store one night, wondering where his pizza was. He swore up and down he'd ordered with us, but we didn't have a pizza under his name. He got pissed, cussing etc, until he realized he had actually called the c-store in our chain in the town half an hour north of where I work. Then he got all sheepish and asked kindly for us to make his order. Yes, he called the other store to let them know what was up. I swear that's the fastest I've seen anyone go from bitch to embarrassed in my life!
                            "And though she be but little, she is FIERCE!"--Shakespeare

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                            • #15
                              Pizza for several meals in a row can be very uncomfortable to your digestive system.

                              That's all I will say.
                              My Guide to Oblivion

                              "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

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