Fecalpaint

[Bunny the Veggie Slayer]

sounds far too much like the voice of experience...

Being from UK though, you'll have heard of the DJ Scott Mills? He used to have a segment on his show where folk could call in and tell everyone about the stalkerish stuff they've done/had done to them. My favourite (maybe not best choice of words) was the guy who's girlfriend told him she was leaving him and moving out. That night he got really drunk and decided to prove how much he loved her etc. etc.

He did this by dismembering all her stuffed toys and nailing them to the living room wall so that they spelled out her name!!

Now if that doesn't prove your a psycho hose beast love. I don't know what does.

[Darkforge]

Also if you go to all that trouble and don't sign your name, your not much of a stalker.







What?!

sounds far too much like the voice of experience...

[Bunny the Veggie Slayer]

Also if you go to all that trouble and don't sign your name, your not much of a stalker.







What?!

[morgana]

Pretty much what I thought . . . Hope they can jail the guy now (finally). Ugh.

[Gravekeeper]

Threadicus Ressurectus! >.>

Just a question that has me frightened: HOW did the woman in that last call know it was her neighbor?

If I recall correctly, the guy was kind of skizzy but she made the mistake of being polite to him whenever she saw him. Which he interpreted as "SHE LUSTS FOR MY FIG NEWTONS" and he became almost a stalker but not quite. Just leering at her in the hallway and what not. Till finally he got too weird, she told him off, he got weirder, she told the cops, but he wasn't doing anything illegal. Then he flipped his shit when he saw her leaving with another guy and when she came home.....fecal paint.

[morgana]

Just a question that has me frightened: HOW did the woman in that last call know it was her neighbor?

Otherwise, your usual superb comedic treatment, GK. I you.

[Hyena Dandy]

Accordion Husky gets my money.

No matter how terrible the accordion is, the dog is adorable.

[Eireann]

Be goin’ west,
Life be peaceful der
Be goin’ west
Shit got open air
Be goin’ west
Where da sky be blue
Be goin’ west
Foo, dats what we do!

Have you considered sending those lyrics to the Pet Shop Boys?

[ceallaig]

Be goin’ west,
Life be peaceful der
Be goin’ west
Shit got open air
Be goin’ west
Where da sky be blue
Be goin’ west
Foo, dats what we do!

No no no, there is NO way this is Mr. T/rap -- this has Bob Marley written all over it! GK, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the laughter -- life has been 'interesting' of late, and your posts are part of what is keeping me sane. And I have to wonder two things -- how is it you're not typing from a padded cell someplace; and why in blazes you are stuck in customer service hell when you need to be out there writing professional comedy!! Your posts are far and away funnier than anything I've seen or read in a loooooong time.

[Fire_on_High]

That's for sure. They only people you see in the Tower of Babel are Dr. Lugue, Rubicante, and Golbez. And they all appear to be caucasion.

I tip my hat to you sir!

[BusBus]

French is mandatory in school here till Grade 9. At my high school if you took it to Grade 11 you got to go to Paris to try it out.

Even though I forgot 75% of the specifics the basics are forever ingrained I guess.

Good lord, seriously? I was in French Immersion and we did not get to go anywhere. I think we went to White Rock once. Granted, I would not have wanted to go anywhere with my classmates, but that's beside the point.....

I can still speak the language, though, which is nice.

It's sad when a GK headline reminds you of a story......

At an undisclosed video store in downtown (video store? look it up, kids), a person high on meth came in with a t-shirt filled with his own...fecalpaint. He proceeded to swing the tshirt around, coating the store in his....artwork. My sister had worked at this store before and passed the story to me. While I was in tears from laughter hearing about it, it is certainly not something I would wish on most people.

[dalesys]

Patient Zero could have been worse.

Instead of all of her affirmative reponses being "yeah", they could've been "roger"!


Miike

Frightening, if she's speaking English English.

[JustaCashier]

Patient Zero could have been worse.

Instead of all of her affirmative reponses being "yeah", they could've been "roger"!


Miike

[Skeksin]

Gah! I actually feel like my mind has been damaged somehow by this encounter. You know, a few weeks back when I referred to the northern hordes and a possible zombie like outbreak that could be repelled only by literature

A useful ritual should the hordes ever move out of the north

The Power of Literacy compels thee!
<sprinkle caffinated beverage of choice>
The Power of Websters Dictionary compels thee!
<sprinkle caffinated beverage of choice>
The Power of Roget's Thesaurus compels thee!
<sprinkle caffinated beverage of choice>

Return to the place from whence thou came. Depart from me, accursed spirit, into the place appointed for thee.

[taurinejunkie]

For people from the 513 area codes (and 450s and such)

Forgive the nitpicking, but that'd be 514, assuming you meant to mention the code for Montreal.