This is not 1950s Virginia...

[SailorMan]

For those that don't know, the "dismissive wave" that Tama described is the "shoo" motion that some people use.

Not to belabor the point, Tama was there, and described it as clearly being racist: I'm sure the 'hand motion' was just one component of the overall body-language that gave her actions their meaning. And I myself have seen something like what was described, and unless the description of what transpired by the subject (the lady) was accompanied by an explanation worthy of a segment of "Lie to Me," the average person isn't capable of describing every little nuance of the person's demeanor or behavior clearly enough to impart the emotion or behavior involved.

So, Tama took a shortcut in summing-up the lady's attitude, and it clearly fell within the parameters of the label 'racism.'

Yes, we're southern born and breed, that doesn't make all of our relatives and my Elders racists.

Yes, you're right. That doesn't make everyone in the South a racist. And that's not was implied in the original post. It merely detailed a particular sighting of one racist individual.

[flutes_and_fabric]

Ok, so there are some major points missing from this post, which until added place me on the side of the older woman. If someone hit me with a cart and didn't apologize, I'm going to motion regardless of race. In fact, at the very busy crazy store I go to, it's guaranteed you will be hit at least twice during your shopping experience. When that happens I raise my hands, palms inwards, and kind of make a flicking motion away from me as to say "WTF, OPEN YOUR EYES YOU SELF CENTERED BEOTCH, THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD BESIDES YOU!" The motion is accompanied by an eye roll so there is no confusion. On the odd chance that someone apologizes, I smile warmly and tell them "No problem!" It's especially annoying when you're standing in line and someone hits you. Get the eff outta my bubble. I feel like they're trying to rush me out. And how did she say "I'm ok"? Was it in a sarcastic way, or a genuine 'i'm ok' kinda feel. If it was the ladder, then that was definitely a "don't worry about it" wave. Something I've noticed is that people of certain backgrounds, especially European, tend to use sometimes spastic motions to go along with their speech. I know I do it. Once the missing descriptions are added in I'll be able to make a better informed decision. My cousin lives in the south, I visit her often, I'm jewish and my partner is black, and we will be affectionate in public so I've faced my share of discrimination numerous times (and all over, not just in the south), so I do understand how tense it must have felt if the woman truly was being racist. People should never be discriminated against based on anything. I don't care if it's the color of your skin or the sex of the person you love, it's just wrong.

[SailorMan]

As far as I can tell from the original post (and until Tama says something else) it didn't say that the black couple didn't apologize. Why is everyone jumping to that conclusion?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Howdy, folks.

Just a friendly reminder that this thread is starting to read a mite unfriendly.

If ya'll need a place to debate how racist or not racist we southerners are, I invite and encourage you to take it over to fratching.

[flutes_and_fabric]

As far as I can tell from the original post (and until Tama says something else) it didn't say that the black couple didn't apologize. Why is everyone jumping to that conclusion?

I know it's unfortunate that that's the conclusion we're all jumping to, but since the old woman's reaction was recorded and the couple's was not (at least during the event), it just seems logical to me that there was no action on their part, but I know I could very well be wrong. Once we have all the facts it'll be much easier to see where the poster is coming from

[Seriously?]

I have to say, I live in the south, and I didn't grasp the significance either. If I read the post correctly, the first thing the lady said was basically, "I'm okay". I don't really see anything wrong with waving at the couple whose buggy hit her, regardless of race, especially since the post mentions nothing about the couple apologizing or even asking if she was okay. Did it occur to anyone that she might have simply been waving the incident aside, as in, "no big deal"? Is there more that was said or done to make you want to scream?

[SailorMan]

I have to say, I live in the south, and I didn't grasp the significance either.

My whole family is from the South, too. And the original post wasn't about all Southerners, but about the actions of a specific person. No generalizations were made about all Southerners. Also, have you actually read any of the things posted about the significance of body language, etc., in judging a persons intentions when expressing something?

If I read the post correctly, the first thing the lady said was basically, "I'm okay". I don't really see anything wrong with waving at the couple whose buggy hit her, regardless of race, especially since the post mentions nothing about the couple apologizing or even asking if she was okay. Did it occur to anyone that she might have simply been waving the incident aside, as in, "no big deal"? Is there more that was said or done to make you want to scream?

All I can do, is point back to what I wrote, a few posts ago. Did anything I wrote about it being Tama's on-the-scene impression trumping what other people here are guessing about, sight unseen, in defense of the lady's actions?

[flutes_and_fabric]

My whole family is from the South, too. And the original post wasn't about all Southerners, but about the actions of a specific person. No generalizations were made about all Southerners. Also, have you actually read any of the things posted about the significance of body language, etc., in judging a persons intentions when expressing something?

Just remember, not all body language is bad. I looked back at the original post and the smiley face next to "I'm ok" shows that the woman said it in a nice way, so can't you admit that her body language coupled with her tone of voice might have meant that she was waving the action off and not the people. Unfortunately you weren't there to see the woman's actions either, so until the op returns it's hard to tell with the material provided to us. As for the southerners part, the post you were replying to simply stated that they didn't get the significance of pointing out that importance, so more than likely they haven't come across this type of person before, which means they are very lucky.

[Peppergirl]

Ok - second warning, since clearly RK's message has gone ignored.

If you want to debate what the OP meant or didn't mean, take it to fratching. In the meantime, I think it's wise to cease speculating about whether or not the couple apologized. If/when the OP comes back, it can hopefully be clarified.

Until then, please (again) be polite to one another and stop with the 'what if' scenarios.

Thanks.

PG

[Ironclad Alibi]

If Tama does decide to reply with additonal info, I'm curious about where this incident took place. The title says "not 1950s Virginia" and the body of the text says "not 1950s southern America."

Did it happen in present day Virginia, southern America, or somewhere else?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

If the motion described is the one I'm thinking of, it's bringing down the hand quickly, like a swat or something.

I'm with RK. I think the hand motion was geared toward the action, not the black people who caused it. Sort of a "Don't worry, no harm done" kind of thing.

Obviously the OP read it differently. That is all I will say about that.

[Whiskey]

If/when the OP comes back, it can hopefully be clarified.

If I was the OP i wouldnt come back to this trainwreck

I am guilty of "the handwave"

mostly because I'm italian and EVERYTHING has a hand gesture

*hand gesture*

[dalesys]

If I was the OP i wouldnt come back to this trainwreck

I am guilty of "the handwave"

mostly because I'm italian and EVERYTHING has a hand gesture

*hand gesture*(NSFW)

That's a phrase in most languages.

[Whiskey]

That's a phrase in most languages.

what can i say, i'm verbose even in sign langage