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Uncle Khiras owns an idiot (long, and vulgar as always)

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  • #46
    Khiras, i just want you to know that the last bit of your post, beginning with your surpreme and complete ownage of the prank caller who obviously couldn't prank call his way into a Tosh.0 web redemption, made me laugh so hard i cried. You, good sir, are filled to the brim with 100% grade A Winsauce.

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    • #47
      Quoth bardicwench View Post
      I thought 1-2-3-4-5 (wait, that's the combination for my luggage!)

      cookie for the reference
      From Spaceballs.

      Dark Helmet: So the combination is one, two, three, four, five. (lifts mask) That's the stupidest combination i've ever heard in my life. That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage.
      …

      Dark Helmet: It worked, sir. We have the combination.

      Skroob: Great. Now we can take every last breath fresh air from planet Druidia. What's the combination?

      Col Sandurz: One, two, three, four, five.

      Skroob: One, two, three, four, five? That's amazing. I've got the same combination on my luggage.
      "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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      • #48
        For your customers, Khiras

        O God, thy sky is so vast and my plane is so small.

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        • #49
          SM422 - That is simply awesome.

          BW - I thought I told you never to call me on this wall! This is an unlisted wall!
          "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
          "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
          "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
          "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
          "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
          "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
          Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
          "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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          • #50
            Quoth Swordsman422 View Post
            For your customers, Khiras
            God...I don't even smoke, but I need that lighter...
            "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
            "What IS fun to fight through?"
            "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

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            • #51
              Things Remembered will put anything on a lighter that you tell them. Got it made there.
              O God, thy sky is so vast and my plane is so small.

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              • #52
                Quoth KhirasHY View Post
                I couldn’t even get mad, and I have no idea what made me start talking, but he broke the dam open and got the entire, brutal comeback that I had usually kept silent. By the end, I had an entire office of co-workers (and thankfully none of my supervisors) staring at me in open shock, thinking I had just flipped out on some normal caller.
                Congratulations Khiras, you have had your first brush with The Snark. The Snark is much like the Force, but without the inherent morality attached. It is merely a tool. Only you can decide how to wield it. I found a steady exposure to comedians Snark Masters like Dennis Miller and Dennis Leary helped me learn to use the Snark at will, rather than random expulsions. Use it wisely Khiras. As you have seen, only a few moments of ranting can destroy a human's ego, forever changing them.

                I suspect Gravekeeper, Jester, and a few others to also call on the Snark. Someday, we shall join together and form the League of Super-Snark and save the world from stupidity with a few choice words. Until that call comes, practice well your new talents, that you might not use them against your friends by accident.

                Unless its really, really funny.
                The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                Hoc spatio locantur.

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                • #53
                  Quoth Geek King View Post
                  Congratulations Khiras, you have had your first brush with The Snark. The Snark is much like the Force, but without the inherent morality attached. It is merely a tool. Only you can decide how to wield it. I found a steady exposure to comedians Snark Masters like Dennis Miller and Dennis Leary helped me learn to use the Snark at will, rather than random expulsions. Use it wisely Khiras. As you have seen, only a few moments of ranting can destroy a human's ego, forever changing them.

                  I suspect Gravekeeper, Jester, and a few others to also call on the Snark. Someday, we shall join together and form the League of Super-Snark and save the world from stupidity with a few choice words. Until that call comes, practice well your new talents, that you might not use them against your friends by accident.

                  Unless its really, really funny.
                  I, too, have found myself able to tap into the Snark, albeit not to the degree that Snark Masters like GK or Jester can.

                  Tycho from Penny Arcade is another Snark Master. "Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul," he once said.
                  PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                  There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                  • #54
                    That reminds me. Having just completed both new seasons of Sam & Max, I need to get the Penny Arcade game.

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                    • #55
                      Quoth KhirasHY View Post
                      I’ve been such a good boy all week; I didn’t even tell someone that I want to running-start-anal-punt their mothers with a spiked boot for inflicting them upon the Earth.
                      Now, now. What makes you think their mothers are the ones responsible? After all, their *fathers* are the ones who provided the faulty DNA contribution in the first place.

                      And that prank caller pwnage was a true and pure thing of beauty. It must be forever preserved for its awesomeness.
                      ~~ Every politician that opens their mouth on birth control only proves that we need more of it. ~~

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