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Failed before he had a chance to fail

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  • #16
    Re-reading this thread for lulz and got to this--

    Quoth Argabarga View Post
    "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"

    "Well, I was doing 90, so, it's probably not for the dope in the trunk"
    And I had a flashback to "Liar Liar"

    Cop: You know why I pulled you over?
    Fletcher: Depends on how long you were following me!
    Cop: Why don't we just take it from the top?
    Fletcher: Here goes... (inhale) I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at the intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and speeding!
    Cop: Is that all?
    Fletcher: No... I have unpaid parking tickets. (groans, opens glove compartment) ... be gentle.
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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    • #17
      Quoth Megg View Post
      I think I saw that once on COPS!
      I know you mean the live-action show, but now the theme song from the cartoon (starring a character named "BulletProof Vess"...oy) is stuck in my head...Fighting crime...in a future time...
      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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      • #18
        Quoth Magpie View Post
        Wait. I was trying to go below scraping the bottom of the barrel. You know, the level of stupid that it was obvious no one would try, to show how stupid this guy was. That's disturbing.
        Honey, there is no such thing as "so stupid no one would try." People are dumb.
        The High Priest is an Illusion!

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        • #19
          Quoth EricKei View Post
          I know you mean the live-action show, but now the theme song from the cartoon (starring a character named "BulletProof Vess"...oy) is stuck in my head...Fighting crime...in a future time...
          I remember this show! I used to watch it all the time!
          To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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          • #20
            “But I was going to give those to my friends!”
            as if that suddenly makes it OK to forge?

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            • #21
              Quoth ArcticChicken View Post
              Honey, there is no such thing as "so stupid no one would try." People are dumb.
              QFT. Stupidity has no limits.
              Take this job and shove it. I ain't workin here no more.

              Proud Air Force Mom

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              • #22
                “But I was going to give those to my friends!”
                At least the idiot didn't add, "now I have to make more copies!"
                Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

                Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

                I wish porn had subtitles.

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