Wherein I Am Felled By Pestilence

[XCashier]

My boss thinks I should pitch a talk show to a network. ;p

Hey, why not? Might get you out of phone hell...!

[chainedbarista]

damn, and from your title, i was hoping it was a reference to your callers, rapidly followed by visits from death and war.

Also, with only 520. How did you run out of names already?'

silly gk, i thought you already knew the answer to questions like that...

My boss thinks I should pitch a talk show to a network

.
take it a step further; ask for your own reality series. couldn't be any worse than what's on now.

[Becks]

I hope you get better soon!!!

Unless this is some woefully ill thought out plan to be like Prince and spell your name as nothing more than a single symbol. In which case I should point out that this would require a minimum level of shirt ruffles you simply do not possess.

The mental image is making me laugh.

[Andara Bledin]

A day early this week, as I hath fallen to the flu and can no longer work the rest of my week.

Make sure you get yourself checked out if it doesn't clear up quickly. Nothing like something flu-like turning into walking pneumonia to ruin your day.

In which case I should point out that this would require a minimum level of shirt ruffles you simply do not possess.

I think it would be in everybody's best interest that you not challenge these individuals for proof of... well, anything, really.

Is it silver or chicken soup that can kill a werewolf? I never remember right.

Go with both. Can't hurt to be doubly sure.

Don’t take this the wrong way, but I do so very wish that you lose your reproductive abilities to some sort of ermine today.

First, I'm not sure there actually is a wrong way to take that, really.

Second, I'm thinking rabid badgers would be more... interesting. Although, really, ermine aren't that far off.

Second of all, I can’t believe I have to say this again, but I am not a female prostitute. I don’t know how this misconception originally came up, nor why it is persisting, but I assuring you I am nothing of the sort.

I'm going to blame the cold... it's eliminated about 50% of your speaking voice, and we'll just say it's gone after the most masculine bits first.

And here I was under the impression that your normal voice WAS "Late Night Soft Rock DJ"......

Ok, that made me giggle.

^-.-^

[mharbourgirl]

maybe train your cat to serve you soup or something.

GK's cat is a psycho hosebeast that would probably do unspeakable things to the soup before it ever got to GK.

It would probably make a good defense against werewolves, though.

[Shalom]

Well, if they're of a religiously orthodox sort, this might happen pretty quickly. There are only a few dozen female names in the New Testament, and most people avoid the more obscure like Basemath or the infamous like Jezebel, so that doesn't leave many to choose from.

Or Asenath (Joseph's wife).

Or Hatzlelponi. (Samson's mother. She was called "Hazel" in the movie, but this is what it was short for.)

Not that infamy ever stopped people from naming their daughters Athalia, or derivatives like Talia. Heck, my brother even ran across a kid in Israel whose secular parents named him Esau... He asked the mother what kind of a name was Esau for a nice Jewish boy, and she said "It's a biblical name!" His response was, "So is Hamor..." (Hebrew: "jackass")

I was honestly surprised how bad this bug is. Its rare I get sick, and when I do its even rarer I get really sick. Usually the flu just gives me the sniffles and an overwhelming feeling of "bleh" for a couple days and thats it. But this went straight for my kneecaps.

If you mean that literally, then it's probably bacterial, not the flu (or not only the flu). If it's just a figure of speech, then yeah, I can see what you mean by it.

[MoonCat]

Why Do You Do This?

SC: “I’m running a fever, every time I go to pee it hurts in my penis.”

Right, hold that thought. May I just ask one quick question? Why are you calling your building manager about this?

I have a feeling that I really don't want to know the answer to this. Just can't help thinking that a fever isn't likely the reason for the pain...um, there...

Hope you feel better soon, GK!

[Zoe Hates You]

Why Do You Do This?

SC: “I’m running a fever, every time I go to pee it hurts in my penis.”

Right, hold that thought. May I just ask one quick question? Why are you calling your building manager about this?

Holy Bob Saget, you totally spoke with one of my residents!

[Jester]

Oh OK then Jester - you have the rum, I'll send GK a Lady Baltimore cake instead.

Brilliant idea! (Oh yeah, and the cake thing is good too....)

Yeah, but I don't normally go full Manilow ( You never go full Manilow )

Speak for yourself. *I* go full Manilow. Some of us just can take it that much further.

...when I was kid my mom's friend's solution to every single ailment was rum & Coke. The miracle elixer apparently.

Other than the Coke part, I thoroughly agree.

My boss thinks I should pitch a talk show to a network. ;p

Some kind of show, certainly. Maybe a vignette-type show a la "Manswers" or "1000 Ways to Die," showing some of your dumber callers.

My old college radio partner is a writer for a major television show, so if you want, I might be able to get your pitch to the right people....

He asked the mother what kind of a name was Esau for a nice Jewish boy, and she said "It's a biblical name!" His response was, "So is Hamor..." (Hebrew: "jackass")

I knew a girl whose name was Callie, which was short for Callista. She HATED her full name because, according to her, her parents got the name from the Bible, saying "callista" was Latin (I think) for "chalice." Why did she hate that? As she told it, "I was named after a CUP!"

[Mikkel]

I knew a girl whose name was Callie, which was short for Callista. She HATED her full name because, according to her, her parents got the name from the Bible, saying "callista" was Latin (I think) for "chalice." Why did she hate that? As she told it, "I was named after a CUP!"

Her parents did a bad job selling her name and translating Latin. See Wikipedia. You might try that if you see her again.

[Sapphire Silk]

I knew a girl whose name was Callie, which was short for Callista. She HATED her full name because, according to her, her parents got the name from the Bible, saying "callista" was Latin (I think) for "chalice." Why did she hate that? As she told it, "I was named after a CUP!"

She should have changed it to Callisto.

Callisto is bad ass.

[Jester]

Her parents did a bad job selling her name and translating Latin. See Wikipedia. You might try that if you see her again.

Yes and no. Wikipedia, as is often the case, does not have the full story. There are many definitions for the name, including both the ones cited in the wikipedia link and what her parents told her. For example, see this definition of the name. So while there are other definitions of the name, they apparently used the one in my link when naming her.

She should have changed it to Callisto.

Callisto is bad ass.

True enough...but Callisto had not yet been born from the mind of a writer when Callie and I were in high school in the late Eighties.

[Geek King]

True enough...but Callisto had not yet been born from the mind of a writer when Callie and I were in high school in the late Eighties.

You were born before the golden age of Greek myth?

You look good for your age.

[Chromatix]

Never mind orthodox religion. If they all have the same surname, then they'll run out of forenames pretty quickly anyway. Especially if they are not very literature-minded.

[Ironclad Alibi]

The Village Of Five Names

C: “Can you put a little N after my first name? There’s another girl with the same name here, but she’s really older than me.”

…..Sure, but if I may interject: You live in a village with a population of 520. It’s liable you know and/or are related to all 520 as well. So I somehow doubt the post office is going to confuse the two of you since the postmaster is probably both of your father’s sister’s cousin.

Also, with only 520. How did you run out of names already?'

That reminds me of a post-apocalyptic story in which the people in one community had their names chosen from the passenger list of an airliner that had crashed, the survivors being their ancestors. Perhaps it has a basis in reality.