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  • #1

    The Killer Rug of Despair

    There's a huge old rug covering the entryway to the store. This SC rushes into the store and stumbles over in the entryway, not actually falling but almost.

    SC: Sue-happy
    AG: Awesome Old Guy

    SC: *trip!*
    Me: Oh no, are you okay?
    SC: What the hell was that??
    Me: Wow, sorry about that!
    SC: That must happen a lot!
    Me: Actually... well not really. I've never noticed a problem--
    SC: That rug is a hazard!
    Me: It didn't look like you tripped on the rug though. Was there something on the rug?
    SC: Uh, NO! I tripped ON THE RUG! Are you blind?!?
    Me: Well I did see you trip while you were walking ON the rug, but I didn't see that you tripped because of the rug...
    SC: I should sue you, I could have died! Who else saw this! *looks around* You!!
    AG: *looks up from a book* Hmm?
    SC: You saw this rug almost kill me! You can testify!
    AG: Well now. I saw you trip cause you were running.
    SC: NO, IDIOT!!! THE RUG TRIPPED ME! IT'S A HAZARD!!
    [By now some other customers have come to the front to gawk at this lunatic]
    SC: *to me* Looks you little bitch! You'll be hearing from my lawyers! I have a team of lawyers!
    Me: Uh, you're going to sue because you tripped? You didn't even hurt yourself.
    AG: Just let him try if he feels like it.
    SC: You don't know who I am! I will sue this place into the ground!! *storms out*

    I'm looking forward to it (I think he was just embarrassed actually.)
    !
    "For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction." -- Lord Byron
    Tags: None
  • #2
    He reacted to tripping all wrong.
    You are suppose to stop, turn around, walk out, then walk back in again. After that you stop, pose like a gymnast after they do their tumbling, take a bow and ask what your score was. Why do so few people know that's what you are suppose to do?
    I'm the 5th horsemen of the apocalypse. Bringer of giggly bouncy doom, they don't talk about me much.

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    • #3
      50-50 chance he ends up getting something out of it.

      We had a customer trip over a yellow speed bump.
      "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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      • #4
        Some people could trip over a stain on the rug.

        I speak from personal experience.

        However, I don't sue people, because I know I'm a klutz.
        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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        • #5
          Gimli falls from a horse during the trek from Edoras to Helm's Deep:

          "It was deliberate! It was deliberate!"
          Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the restraints...
          TASTE THE LIME JELLO OF DEFEAT! -Gravekeeper

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          • #6
            Quoth Mnemjian View Post
            SC: You don't know who I am!
            PRAISE THE LORD! HALLELUJAH!

            Quoth MoonCat View Post
            However, I don't sue people, because I know I'm a klutz.
            Well, clearly your parents are liable, having passed you clumsy genes against your will and without your consent. SUE THEM!

            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is             Still A Customer."

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            • #7
              The sue-age is getting deep in here...
              I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
              Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
              Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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              • #8
                Am I the only one that if I trip or fall... I get up red faced and look around to see if anyone seen me and then I run away

                Comment

                • #9
                  I haven't fallen since I attempted to shovel in high heeled boots.

                  And it was dark out so no one saw that

                  The last time I took a real digger was a couple of winters ago after a big snowstorm, I was so mad that my door was frozen shut that I pulled and pulled and it finally opened, then it wouldn't shut all the way so I stepped back and slammed the door shut so hard I literally fell on my face into several inches of puff snow.
                  You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                  • #10
                    No, no, no. Watch how cats do it: Trip. Catch self. Check to see if anyone noticed. Act like you meant to do that all along.

                    That, or glare menacingly at the offending carpet stain (yes, I've tripped on one of those, too) as if daring it to try that the next time you walk through, then turn around and huff off so the carpet knows this is its lucky day as you won't take it outside right then and there for a good beatin'.
                    Sorry, my cow died so I don't need your bull

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                    • #11
                      Quoth blas View Post
                      I haven't fallen since I attempted to shovel in high heeled boots.

                      And it was dark out so no one saw that

                      The last time I took a real digger was a couple of winters ago after a big snowstorm, I was so mad that my door was frozen shut that I pulled and pulled and it finally opened, then it wouldn't shut all the way so I stepped back and slammed the door shut so hard I literally fell on my face into several inches of puff snow.
                      You should sue Mother Nature for making it snow and freezing!

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Jester View Post
                        PRAISE THE LORD! HALLELUJAH!



                        Well, clearly your parents are liable, having passed you clumsy genes against your will and without your consent. SUE THEM!
                        Too late.
                        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Quoth candyshopgirl View Post
                          Am I the only one that if I trip or fall... I get up red faced and look around to see if anyone seen me and then I run away
                          I am clumsy as hell and I do this too. Usually if someone sees me and asks if I'm ok, I say 'I'm fine, thanks' and proceed to run away as fast as I can.
                          "So, if you wanna put places like that outta business, just stop being so rock-chewingly stupid." ~ Raudf, 9/19/13

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                          • #14
                            Quoth candyshopgirl View Post
                            Am I the only one that if I trip or fall... I get up red faced and look around to see if anyone seen me and then I run away
                            No, I'm afraid not.
                            They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth EvilEmpryss View Post
                              No, no, no. Watch how cats do it: Trip. Catch self. Check to see if anyone noticed. Act like you meant to do that all along.
                              When in doubt, wash.

                              ^-.-^
                              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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