Living the Dream.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Once I thought I really wanted to visit Vancouver...now I'm not sure.

Other parts of BC though? Yeah, definitely want to see.

[mharbourgirl]

Once I thought I really wanted to visit Vancouver...now I'm not sure.

Other parts of BC though? Yeah, definitely want to see.

Eh, it's a city. A big, sprawling city with all the charms and problems of other big cities. Just better scenery than most. If you like city things, it's got a lot to offer. Recommend you don't visit it alone, though, but I'd say that about any big city.

Not nearly as interesting as pretty much the rest of the province, if you like giant trees and mountains and long narrow lakes in deep valleys and moose and bears and squirrels and mule deer and all kinds of historic sites, and mountains.

Did I mention the mountains?

Yeah, there's ONE thing I miss about BC, and always will.

[XCashier]

Not nearly as interesting as pretty much the rest of the province, if you like giant trees and mountains and long narrow lakes in deep valleys and moose and bears and squirrels and mule deer and all kinds of historic sites, and mountains.

Ooh, sounds marvelous. I must come up and visit BC some summer!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Stupid Questions

-Why can't I open my beer in the store?

Now who in their right mind would open a beer in a store? Not sure about your side of the pond, but walking around with an open container is against the law here IRRC.

-Do I need a corkscrew to open this corked bottle of wine?

Not really . . . you can break the neck of the bottle over something hard if you like your wine crunchy. Otherwise, you probably don't need that bottle that badly if you have to ask such an asinine question. . .

-What do you mean I can't drink my beer in the store? I've already paid for it!

This is the same logic used by the guy who once said "If I had amnesia, I would've remembered it."

Besides, at my store at least, we also sell condoms . . .but we don't allow people to have sex inside the store.

And this brings us to his amazing pickup paragraph.
"Hi, I just accidently hopped onto the wrong train and I ended up in Slurrey. When I got off I bought some cigarettes but some guys held me a knifepoint and mugged me. Then they smacked me over the head with a rock. I barely made it back to the train. I've just finished work and my girlfriends going to be pissed about me losing all my money. So......can I have your number?"
Long story short, I hopped off at the very next station and waited for the next skytrain.
I need a car.

What a charmer. Now that's a real romantic "How we met" tale to tell your children about someday.

Sorry you've had to deal with such a high level of stupidity . . . have a on me.

[wolfie]

Background:
I work in an area in B.C that is lovingly referred to as WallyWorld (just with a different spelling). To people outside of B.C, this means diddly squat to you, but to those of you who do live here, yeah...that place.
It's not a very nice area to put it lightly, and about 80% of our customers are either alcoholics, crack-heads, prostitutes, or a combination of all three. Granted, most of them are very nice despite their personal choices, but the fact still remains.

As a former Vancouverite transplanted to Toronto, I can tell you a couple things:

1. All the (municipality of which WallyWorld is a part) jokes are also Scarborough jokes, with one exception - somehow it doesn't have the same ring when you say "Living in North York means never having to say you're Scarborough".

2. I did a double-take when I first heard the name of one of Toronto's northern suburbs - Richmond Hill.

Didn't want to "out" you by giving the name of that municipality, and anyone who's not familiar with the Vancouver area probably won't get #2

[Ironclad Alibi]

"Hi, I just accidently hopped onto the wrong train and I ended up in Slurrey. When I got off I bought some cigarettes but some guys held me a knifepoint and mugged me. Then they smacked me over the head with a rock. I barely made it back to the train. I've just finished work and my girlfriends going to be pissed about me losing all my money. So......can I have your number?"

You need a special phone number to give him. Try 778-786-8557 (A rejection Hotline number I found with Google.)

I did that, too. Not nearly as innocently, though. We were in high school. We wanted booze. Worst case scenario was that no one we knew over 21 who would buy for us was around, and desperate times call for desperate measures, so we'd try to convince people of age outside of convenience stores or liquor stores to buy for us. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't.

That reminds me of this Man Show episode where the Man Show boy does the same, successfully.

[Jester]

Now who in their right mind would open a beer in a store? Not sure about your side of the pond, but walking around with an open container is against the law here IRRC.

And in most places, it is. Just not in all.

Amusingly, while you can walk around with drinks in Key West, as long as your drinks are not in glass containers (well, at least downtown Key West, where most of the tourists would be anyway), there are still stores that sell beer here that have big signs saying you can't open your beer in the store.

And if you can't open your beer in a convenience store in downtown Key West, chances are amazingly high that you can't open your beer in a convenience store anywhere.

Not really . . . you can break the neck of the bottle over something hard if you like your wine crunchy.

There is a way to open a bottle of wine without a corkscrew and without breaking anything.

Simply push the cork into the bottle. Sure, you have no way to close the bottle now, but if you need wine that badly, chances are you were planning on finishing the bottle that night anyway.

That reminds me of this Man Show episode where the Man Show boy does the same, successfully.

I remember that episode! It brought back fond, fond memories.....

[Ironclad Alibi]

There is a way to open a bottle of wine without a corkscrew and without breaking anything.

A quick search of YouTube revealed some videos that showed how to open a bottle of wine without a corkscrew. This video shows banging the wine bottle against a tree, which causes the cork to slowly come out of the bottle. Other videos show similar techniques.

[Jester]

All of those seem far more complex and laborious compared to, oh, I dunno, just pushing the fucking cork down into the bottle. No muss, no fuss, no problem, no power tools. And zero chance of breaking anything or injuring anyone.

[Gravekeeper]

As a former Vancouverite transplanted to Toronto, I can tell you a couple things:

You know I've been living here 12 years and I had nfi what WallyWorld meant when I read the OP. ;p I misread it and thought it was something about Walmart <cough>.

Normally I can blend in here. But I stick out like a sore thumb in the winter due to my complete lack of wearing anything wintery ( Because its not cold out, you sissies. ). Even Salvation Army bellringers yell at me. Seriously, I walked by one outside a Skytrain station and he yelled at me "ITS NOT THAT WARM OUT!!". Because I had no coat on, no gloves, no hat, and my sleeves were rolled up. >.>

[Jay 2K Winger]

You know I've been living here 12 years and I had nfi what WallyWorld meant when I read the OP. ;p I misread it and thought it was something about Walmart <cough>.

Normally I can blend in here. But I stick out like a sore thumb in the winter due to my complete lack of wearing anything wintery ( Because its not cold out, you sissies. ). Even Salvation Army bellringers yell at me. Seriously, I walked by one outside a Skytrain station and he yelled at me "ITS NOT THAT WARM OUT!!". Because I had no coat on, no gloves, no hat, and my sleeves were rolled up. >.>

I used to get that reaction from my coworkers at the wholesale club. I don't often get fazed by cold temperatures, and given my tendency to get overheated when I wear long sleeves (it's rare I'll wear a long-sleeved shirt without rolling them up), I wear short sleeves most of the time. Even when I was working at the front door, next to the draft coming in.

Frequent was the following exchange:

C: "Aren't you freezing?!"
J2K: (blink) "Why, is it cold out?" (turns to look outside at the snow coming down)

[Jester]

You know I've been living here 12 years and I had nfi what WallyWorld meant when I read the OP. ;p I misread it and thought it was something about Walmart <cough>.

Wait, WallyWorld isn't Walmart?!?!?!?

Because I had no coat on, no gloves, no hat, and my sleeves were rolled up.

And just what was the temperature?

Myself, I am the opposite. I never think it's that hot, and will go bicycling in Phoenix at 110F+ (as in 40 miles kind of bicycling), but I am a total wuss when it comes to cold.

[Kiwi]

I must have my "dont approach me" face on when I use the skytrain. I see the crazies you guys talk about but they never talk to me.

I once had a homeless guy smooshed right into the back of me when the trains were packed but the BF was with me and pulled me through to the other side of him.

ETA I lie, one guy did talk to me once. He called himself "sargent sexy pants" and was a 300lbs chav. I got off at the next station after giving him the filthest look I could muster without busting up laughing.

[Rapscallion]

You know I've been living here 12 years and I had nfi what WallyWorld meant when I read the OP. ;p I misread it and thought it was something about Walmart <cough>.

Normally I can blend in here. But I stick out like a sore thumb in the winter due to my complete lack of wearing anything wintery ( Because its not cold out, you sissies. ). Even Salvation Army bellringers yell at me. Seriously, I walked by one outside a Skytrain station and he yelled at me "ITS NOT THAT WARM OUT!!". Because I had no coat on, no gloves, no hat, and my sleeves were rolled up. >.>

Not that long ago, it was a bright and clear winters day. Really still air with a strong dose of sunlight. I was in my normal garb (Tshirt and jeans) while scraping the ice off my car, watching people staring at me for some reason. They were bundled up really heavily and made me wonder what was wrong.

Got in the car and the thermometer claimed -7 Celsius.

I usually put a fleece or jacket on when working about -1 or -2. I think it requires about -4 or so for me to fasten it up.

Rapscallion