Jester Rants!

[Gravekeeper]

Good lord, that may be the angriest I have ever seen GK.

Sorry, I'm Canadian. Lack of manners and respect urks me above all else. >.>

Rum. Rum-flavored candies. This is me, after all.

Rum flavoured candies then. You'd need a tag line to sell them with though. Something seemingly innocent that can get horribly misinterpreted. Like "There's always a smile when you've got a Jester in your mouth".

[morgana]

Still more thought out than my fantasies. Of course, mine all involved Scarlet Johansson.

No, no, no; the sign thing is a *plot*. My *fantasies* involve . . ., um, a certain Shakespearian actor, . . . um, never mind . . .

[morgana]

"There's always a smile when you've got a Jester in your mouth".

*snort, gurgle, cough*

*sigh* Broke Rule One again. When will I learn?

[Andara Bledin]

You have a deathly fear of central air conditioning? Fine. I'm cool with that.

For whatever reason, this pair of sentences together has me trying to suppress my giggling so I don't distract my coworkers.

Why is it even called common courtesy anymore? My experience has led me to rename it Uncommon Courtesy.

Different use of the word. It doesn't mean typical so much as base. It's supposed to be the base level of courtesy offered to everybody. So goes the theory, anyway.

Also, Jesterants brought forth an image of some sort of Bourbon flavoured hard candies.

They'd have to be rum flavored.

Rum. Rum-flavored candies. This is me, after all.

See?

You'd need a tag line to sell them with though. Something seemingly innocent that can get horribly misinterpreted. Like "There's always a smile when you've got a Jester in your mouth".

*giggles like a schoolgirl*

^-.-^

[lobo94]

The Westboro Whackos...I'd just love to see the look on Freddy's face when he gets to the other side...and finds the devils singing, "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow!"

[Ironclad Alibi]

Why is it even called common courtesy anymore? My experience has led me to rename it Uncommon Courtesy. Since so few people seem to fucking bother with it these days.

One of the signatures on this forum says that common sense has become so rare that it has become a superpower. Common courtesy is apparently destined to also become a superpower

Oh, shit, Westboro Baptist has franchises now?

I enjoyed reading this update on the Westboro Baptist Church member's activities.

[Stryker One]

How big is it?

I can't hide bolt cutters in my cleavage.

So, how about a hacksaw?

[charred]

FYI Jester, a good carpet cleaner:
a) Does not need you to move all the furniture out of the room before they clean. Just clutter and delicate/breakable/precious items. Everything else (within reason) they will move and replace and either put on Styrofoam blocks or plastic squares to protect your furniture from the wet carpet. They will also cut you a deal if you only want the traffic patterns cleaned.
b) Will vacuum the carpet before they clean as a matter of policy.
c) Won't leave your carpet so wet that it takes 5 hours to dry. It should only take 2-3 hours tops (depending on temperature/humidity).

[EricKei]

Well, Jester, I'm afraid I don't drink ... *thud* Jester?....Jester? *slap* *dumps ice cold water on him* Wake up, man. Anyhoo...If I ever get around to ...er... getting around to your place, I'll figure out where you are and buy you a glass of some of the non-Well boozeahol that you sell so well, to drink in my stead. ^_^

[Becks]

So, how about a hacksaw?

Haven't tried that...yet.

[Seshat]

I actually am frightened of talking on the phone. Go figure. Part of my general anxiety disorder, blended with hearing loss and shyness. (I'm less shy online.)

[Mr Hero]

Memories

Hi there! Welcome to the--wait, what? Um, no, can't say that I remember you folks. What? You were here last year, and had a great time? Wonderful. Glad that you did. Welcome back. What? Sorry, no, I don't remember you. No, seriously. I don't. Telling me your names is great, very polite, as is telling me where you're from and how much you had a great time at my bar last year. But I'm not going to lie to you--I have no memory of you.

There are probably three very good reasons for this.

1. I tend to have a very shitty memory.

2. I drink. A lot. This tends to not help my very shitty memory.

3. Most importantly, I deal with thousands of people. Let's put things in perspective. You come down to Key West once a year, on vacation, so you are going to remember things here. I, on the other hand, fucking live here, and every working day I deal with more and more tourists. One of me. Thousands of you. Do the math. Now, when *I* go on vacation, I remember the great people I deal with. I do not harbor the illusion that a year or two later, they're going to remember me. When they do, heck, wonderful. Good times. And sometimes I even do remember some of you. But seriously, don't take offense or be surprised.

I am but a pebble in a sea of humanity. Plus, I have a very shitty memory.

For the SC, the day they graced Jester's bar with their presence was the most important day of their life, but for Jester it was a Tuesday.

Haven't tried that...yet.

Go right ahead. *keeps the camera running*

[Jester]

I have, however, seriously contemplated making signs in the same poisonous-sherbet colors that they use.

Apparently someone locally here did just that, but with a humorous twist.

The WBC guy had the typical sign of "God hates f**s." Next to him, a local guy popped up with a sign reading "God hates him" with an arrow pointing to the WBC guy. Hilarious!

Something seemingly innocent that can get horribly misinterpreted. Like "There's always a smile when you've got a Jester in your mouth".

Misinterpreted, perhaps, but I would hardly call that "horribly," since no matter how you interpret it, you'd be correct.

FYI Jester, a good carpet cleaner:

1. What makes you think this ridiculous complex hires anyone that good?
2. He didn't need all of the furniture moved, just whatever I wanted cleaned under.
3. The carpet wasn't wet so much as the cleaning had pulled it away from the mat, and it just needed time to settle, or some such. And as you said, a lot depends on temp and humidity, and this is the Florida Keys in May.

Well, Jester, I'm afraid I don't drink ... *thud* Jester?....Jester? *slap* *dumps ice cold water on him* Wake up, man. Anyhoo...If I ever get around to ...er... getting around to your place, I'll figure out where you are and buy you a glass of some of the non-Well boozeahol that you sell so well, to drink in my stead. ^_^

I have no problem with people who don't drink. I may not understand them, but I have no problem with them. Hell, my mother doesn't drink. And if said non-drinker wants me to drink their share as well, I have even less problem with them.

Haven't tried that...yet.

You realize, of course, that that implies that you've tried getting bolt cutters in your cleavage. And failed.

For the SC, the day they graced Jester's bar with their presence was the most important day of their life, but for Jester it was a Tuesday.

Perhaps overstated, but very, very true.

[Andara Bledin]

Totally , but I've had a sword in my cleavage before... Well, not all of it, just the top bit was actually in my cleavage, and it wasn't really hidden so much, and sitting was an interesting procedure...

^-.-^

[Becks]

Go right ahead. *keeps the camera running*

You realize, of course, that that implies that you've tried getting bolt cutters in your cleavage. And failed.

I realize that.

And I think it's useful information to know just what, exactly, I can and can not hide in my cleavage.