Can I strangle you? Please?

[blas]

I don't think I'd want bacon while I had my hair or nails done, though.

That first woman sounds like my bf's mom. I don't think it's actually schizo, I think it's just a really nasty personality disorder filled with mood swings and a desire to just fuck with everyone for fun. My Nanna had that problem as well.

[Rena_Muffin]

Bacon, the candy of meats...

[XCashier]

Nope... You didn't miss anything. She would say she wanted something, then get super pissed off and say she never ordered that. Weirrddddnessss O.O

Makes you wish you could record the customer while they're giving the order and then play it back to them. "Yes, you DID order this! Right here, back at 00:12! See?"

Of course, Sybil here would still insist she never ordered it...

[BeenThereDoneThat]

Gotta love the ones who start out nice, turn stark raving sucky, and then suddenly become nice again...

[Mr Hero]

Makes you wish you could record the customer while they're giving the order and then play it back to them. "Yes, you DID order this! Right here, back at 06:12! See?"

Of course, Sybil here would still insist she never ordered it...

Fixed to reflect the actual time it would be before a SC orders an item.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Mmmmm. Bacon.

That Monty Python skit should have gone like this:

Man: You sit here, dear.

Wife: All right.

Man: Morning!

Waitress: Morning!

Man: Well, what've you got?

Waitress: Well, there's egg and spam; egg sausage and spam; egg and bacon; egg spam and bacon; egg spam sausage and bacon; bacon spam sausage and bacon; bacon egg bacon bacon spam and bacon; bacon sausage bacon bacon spam bacon tomato and bacon;

Vikings: Bacon bacon bacon bacon...

Waitress: ...bacon bacon bacon egg and bacon; bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon baked beans bacon bacon bacon...

Vikings: Bacon! Lovely bacon! Lovely bacon!

Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and bacon.

Wife: Have you got anything without bacon?

Waitress: Well, there's bacon egg sausage and bacon, that's not got much bacon in it.

Wife: I don't want ANY bacon!

Man: Why can't she have egg spam bacon and sausage?

Wife: THAT'S got bacon in it!

Man: Hasn't got as much bacon in it as bacon egg sausage and bacon, has it?

Vikings: Bacon bacon bacon bacon... (Crescendo through next few lines...)

Wife: Could you do the egg spam bacon and sausage without the bacon then?

Waitress: Urgghh!

Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like bacon!

Vikings: Lovely bacon! Wonderful bacon!

Waitress: Shut up!

Vikings: Lovely bacon! Wonderful bacon!

Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg spam bacon and sausage without the bacon.

Wife: I don't like bacon!

Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your bacon. I love it. I'm having bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon baked beans bacon bacon bacon and bacon!

Vikings: Bacon bacon bacon bacon. Lovely bacon! Wonderful bacon!

Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.

Man: Well could I have her bacon instead of the baked beans then?

Waitress: You mean bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)

Vikings: (Singing elaborately...) Bacon bacon bacon bacon. Lovely bacon! Wonderful bacon! Bacon ba-a-a-a-a-acon bacon Ba-a-a-a-a-acon bacon. Lovely bacon! Lovely bacon! Lovely bacon! Lovely bacon! Lovely bacon! Bacon bacon bacon bacon!

[Spork4pedro]

I had a bacon discovery today at work. We now carry Bacon Salt. mmm...bacon popcorn

[Cerys]

None of this is helping. I want bacon, dammit.

[dalesys]

Bacon is served.

(Linda Lister performing Mary Liz MacNamara's song)

[Cerys]

Not helping!

[Mr Hero]

My hotel started serving hot items for breakfast on the 1st. One of our items is bacon.

[Cerys]

Nghyaargh!

[wolfie]

I dunno, I kinda agree with #2 there. All businesses should sell tasty, tasty bacon. Regardless of what they actually do.

Welcome to Goldberg's Kosher Dairy. No, we do NOT sell bacon.

Bacon is trayf, so allowing it on the premises would get any kosher store's certification yanked. Also, there should be no meat products of any kind on the premises at a kosher dairy.

[dalesys]

Welcome to Goldberg's Kosher Dairy. No, we do NOT sell bacon.

Bacon is trayf, so allowing it on the premises would get any kosher store's certification yanked. Also, there should be no meat products of any kind on the premises at a kosher dairy.

Update: That service has been outsourced to the shop next door...

Shabbas Goy Tschotkes.

[lineswine]

Did anyone mention...BACON?