still fuming about this three weeks later

[smileyeagle1021]

This happened three weeks ago and I hesitated to post it, because part of conveying why it bothered me so much involves disclosures I'm not overly proud of having to make.

So, getting the disclosures out of the way, I'm a recovering hoarder as is my mother (like alcoholism you never truly are cured), at our worst we were class 4 (the highest is class 5). For those who aren't familiar, hoarding is a variation of OCD, in laymen's terms hoarding is the inability to rationally make decisions regarding the acquisition and disposal of possessions. This is most often caused by a loss in the person's life that they try to fill with possessions. For my mother and I, we missed the warning signs of my father's suicidal tendencies, signs that really should have been obvious, so it became difficult to dispose of anything because we were afraid that we would discover we needed it. Even things that were (now we know) obviously trash, eg what are we going to do with empty milk jugs, I don't know, but if we throw it out we will find out too late what it was useful for (as an example). Even now, I had to have roommates convince me it was Okay to throw away a maintenance log for a car I didn't even own anymore, so like I said, recovering.

So, disclosures over, three weeks ago at the hotel, it was late at night and I had Hoarders playing on the lobby TV (I love that show, it brings a lot of strength to see I'm not alone, just how many of us there are out there).
A guest walks in and sees the show and... well...

SC: Wow, you watch these freak shows?
Me: umm...
SC: If I were that lady's husband I'd have left her long before this.
Me: So... ummm... yeah, was there anything I can help you with?
SC: yeah, what you have open tonight?
Me: We can do one king or two queens non-smoking for $69 plus tax.
SC: And their cleaned better than those lazy slobs on TV right?
Okay, I was willing to give a pass on the freak show comment, because to some extent it is sensationalizing a mental disorder, but this is starting to cross the line.
Me: Yes, the housekeepers do a good job (which is BS, they cut a lot of corners, but not in areas that guests will notice).
SC: Oh good, cleanliness is next to godliness after all, people who are too lazy to stay clean are worthless, they should just kill themselves and save us the effort of cleaning up after them.





I rather politely told him he could get the fuck out of my lobby.

[Pixilated]

WTF is wrong with people!!! Don't know if I'd have wasted any courtesy at all on this idiot.

And I'd love to see some drill sergeant do a thorough military inspection on SC's house.

[Captain Trips]

"You know, I just realized -- I let that room out an hour ago. Now, if you are willing to apologize to my mother for that callous remark, I may be able to find you another room. Otherwise, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOTEL!"


(Something like that?)

[Frantic Freddie]

Wow....

What is it with some people that can't seem to keep their goddam mouths shut? What you're watching on TV has no bearing on renting a room & it ain't none of their business anyway.

I think I'd call my mom a borderline hoarder,she's got more crap than she'll ever use but she does keep her house clean,if cluttered.

[Moirae]

.... Its a tv show. Wth?

[Pojodan]

Ignorance begets hatred.

Hatred is a natural reaction to feelings of insignificance.

Basically, the person was attempting to feel better about themselves by belittling those they view as inferior to themsleves, based around misunderstanding, since TV shows like Hoarders don't make any effort explaining why the people hoarde, just sensationalizing it to amuse their target audience and get ad revenue.

Why yes, I do loathe reality TV :P

[Merriweather]

Try to just dismiss people like that for the worthless pieces of crap they are.
They can't understand or recognize anything outside of their own tiny little orb of existence, so have to dismiss or condemn it all.

These are the kind of people who would tell a claustrophobic person to suck it up and just get on the elevator to the 40th floor, or consider a person who dies of an overdose as having gotten what they deserved. They have no compassion or understanding, nor any desire to have any - they've been lucky enough to never have any issues themselves, and therefore, in their minds, such issues simply do not exist, people are just lazy or faking.

Don't give them the verification of letting them get to you, they just aren't worth it. Karma will take good care of them eventually.

[EricKei]

Why yes, I do loathe reality TV :P

Deep down inside, I think everybody does, including those who make it...

We watch it because it's like a train wreck (let's assume non-fatal, here)...It's a spectacle, an OMG moment (or a succession of them if the editors are any good), and the viewer is not involved in any significant way aside from speculating upon the cause and "Is everybody OK?!".

The people making the shows...It's just business. I can't really fault them for producing something that sells preposterously well at a high profit. If they couldn't make money on these shows, they'd make money on some other sort of show.

With that in mind, I do believe that it is high time for the obligatory Simpsons reference : there is one and only one way to get rid of Reality TV...Everybody, Just Don't Look...

[barainga]

Ive wondered what caused people to be like that. The explanation that Smiley gave is a good one (im certain not the only). Hoarders I mean, there is never a reason for SCs.
Thanks Smiley, I always wondered a bit about hoarders.

[fireheart]

.... Its a tv show. Wth?

It's called Hoarders

And it doesn't matter if you're a hoarder or not, any comment like that and I would have done the same.

[notlovinit]

Wow, that would have bugged me too and I don't have the background you do.

[bainsidhe]

I also like the show Hoarders, I think partly because I grew up in an extremely disorganized household. While I realize the show is sensationalized for a TV audience, they at least are paying to have someone help them during the (sudden) cleanup process and most importantly, the show provides aftercare funds.

I take exception to the episodes where the occupant is hoarding animals, though. That just breaks my heart.

[Victoria J]

I think the problem is that some idiots assume everyone holds the same opinions they do, and it just doesn't occur to them that they are sharing things with someone they know nothing about. I may hold a certain opinion about X group I wish to share, but you may be in that group, married to someone from that group or traumatised because someone from that group killed and ate your mother. None of us have any ideas what links strangers have. Idiots who don't get this also don't tend to have the most nuanced and well considered opinions.

I have problems with hoarding and squalor. I lost my last home because of it and it's an ongoing problem. When things are bad I have lived in a way that people just wouldn't expect - because even at my worst I was able to put on clean cloths and go out to work full time looking respectable (or at least as much as required for my work). It is possible to have specific mental health issues without it meaning that nothing else about you works correctly.

I think hoarding is surprisingly common. I can identify at least 4 people with significant hoarding problems that were friends of the family when I was growing up, and most people who do work going into people's houses will see quite a few out of control houses. There are probably more hoarders in your neighbourhood than you think.

Hoarders are often intelligent, because they are over thinking getting rid of stuff. Instead of seeing rubbish and going "yep, that goes in the bin", a hoarder can spend hours thinking about it. It's broken thinking, but it is complex

Otherwise why people do it is very complicated, and I'm not sure that there are 2 people with the exact same reasons. Hoarding also varies hugely. Some people hoard specific things, some hoard things incredibly neatly, others have other problems with messiness, and some people who have problems with squalor and not hoarding get lumped in due to the TV programs. (I have problems with both hoarding and squalor). People with squalor issues often don't notice the mess in the same way - it's a bit like the stereotypical male/female thing. My mother used to get really angry at me for not cleaning things up when I lived at home, claim I couldn't possibly not have noticed whatever needed doing and just ignored it because I knew she would do it. Nope. When I lived on my own I still didn't notice, and found myself walking through great piles of stuff everywhere without really thinking about it.

(For me personally one of the things I think is a kind of "keep out" sign. When my bedroom growing up was tidy my parents would go in, and sometimes take stuff to punish me. When it was out of control they didn't go in, and they couldn't take my stuff - though I mostly just ended up breaking it myself. Living on my own it meant a reason not to have guests, and to keep my space to myself. It really works too - when my mother was burgled the burglars went in every room but mine, they opened the door and looked in and didn't so much step inside).

SmileyEagle - do you know the forum at http://takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/index.cgi ?

The people there seem nice, and they have a little chat room, where people chat between going and doing short bursts if tidying and decluttering. Some people are still in mess, and some are "recovered" and working on maintaining it, and on coping with the experience (lots of people panic and feel the house will embarrass them long after they have it sorted).

Victoria J

[NotMyProblem]

Some people should have their speaking privileges revoked!

oh, and Smiley?

I hesitated to post it, because part of conveying why it bothered me so much involves disclosures I'm not overly proud

Recognize how far you've come and celebrate your triumphs

[Andara Bledin]

My grandparents were massive hoarders. To the point where the hoard in the attic of their house caught fire from sheer buildup of crap. Literally. I imagine they did it because they went through the Depression. I've noted that it tends to be more common with people who either grew up or went through a period of extreme poverty.

My dad wasn't so bad about it before he started killing his brain with meth, then he got insanely bad. If he had any brain left and a place of his own, he could be the focus of one of those episodes. He definitely was a class 5. Now he's bedridden and being taken care of by a long-time friend.

I've been class 2 at times, working hard to keep myself to class 1. It's hard, though. I grew up very poor, but I think I'd be just as bad even if I hadn't. Thankfully for me and everyone who visits, my other OCD tendencies won't allow me to get to class 3 because the additional space that would be devoted to hoarding is already claimed by my other issues.

But, either way, the SC was a jerk who needs to keep his asshole opinions to himself.

^-.-^