still fuming about this three weeks later

[Sapphire Silk]

Smiley, what was it you did wrong again?

I fail to see any suck on your part.

On the customer . . . loads.

[JoitheArtist]

I hesitated to post it, because part of conveying why it bothered me so much involves disclosures I'm not overly proud of having to make.

...Right. Because the rest of us are such perfect pictures of mental health and all.



(Seriously though, I'm glad you are actually able to post about it, and I want to that idiot in the lobby.)

[BeenThereDoneThat]

I'm with those who say that asshole isn't worth thinking about. He's beneath you, only because he has put himself there with his crappy attitude and his nasty habit of judging other people.

I can understand hoarders very well. I'm a pack rat, and maybe if it wasn't for my husband who can't stand having all kinds of junk around, I'd be a hoarder myself. I can be compulsive in my shopping, and though I don't tend to collect the kinds of items that go bad (for example), I do tend to slack on cleaning so my house has way too much loose cat hair, dust, and other allergens/generally not clean or healthy stuff. When I do clean, I tend to dive in and not want to stop until I HAVE to (so a lot gets done) but the motivation and time to do that seem hard to come by.

SmileyEagle, we all have issues and problems and I don't think you should be ashamed in the least. As others have said, many times these conditions run in families or are triggered by traumatic events. Some are able to move forward and some aren't. I applaud you for your efforts and I am sorry that some people can't just focus on their own problems and stop putting other people down for theirs.

[Seshat]

Smiley,

As someone who's decidedly not the picture of mental health; be proud of what you have achieved.

The asshole is not just ignorant, he's wilfully ignorant, and doesn't deserve your thought processes.

I understand how hurtful comments like that can be. I've had comments like that thrown at me, my partners...

But you're stronger than he is, because you've faced at LEAST one of the flaws in yourself, and worked on it. He hasn't. If he had, he's almost have to be more sympathetic.

[RootedPhoenix]

But, either way, the SC was a jerk who needs to keep his asshole opinions to himself.

Seconded.

*gives Smiley cookies* He's a jerk. You're doing just fine.

[Food Lady]

Smiley, thank you for being open about your issue. It shows trust, and we're honored to be trusted.

[Cat]

*hugs Smiley* I'd be livid too. I can't watch that show, I'd get too upset. ( I have seen hoarding tendancies in myself)

[Kanalah]

*Hugs for Smiley*

I don't think I wouldv'e handled it as well as you. I grew up surrounded by hoarders and until I went to visit my future in-laws had no idea what a clean house even looked like. I work hard to control my OCD and do my best to keep things clean, but it's an uphill battle and it is really hard sometimes to stop things I don't need from creeping in.

[Jay 2K Winger]

My mom watches Hoarders, in part because she recognizes some of the same tendencies in herself. (Though she's nowhere near as bad as any of them.) I recognize some of those traits in myself (I take the current state of my room as evidence. -_-) as well.

Mom got bent out of shape when my Dad and I had to do triage when part of our basement got flooded and we needed to clear stuff out of the affected area. Yes, some things got ruined and were irrecoverable, and for the most part, Dad and I just threw these out without consulting her. Mom got angry about it until I called her on it, "Do you know what you sound like right now?" "...like one of the people on Hoarders." She had a point, perhaps, but I told her, "Either you trust us to make the right calls, or you come downstairs to help us make the decisions." She could not come downstairs (mobility issues), but she griped about it all weekend.

[Moosenogger]

Sorry you had to deal with such an ignorant asshole. I can't stand when people talk shit about things they don't understand.

"Hoarders" actually helped motivate me to get rid of a whole bunch of old crap I don't use or need. After watching that show, I cleaned a massive amount of junk out of my closet (things that had been piling up for over 4 years) and I'm better for it. Haven't missed a single thing.

I'm glad you're recovering from your hoarding tendencies. I imagine it's like drug abuse - you have to work to stay sober.

[ShadowBall]

My mother and her idiot both have hoarding tendencies. Mom's stems from growing up poor and continuing to be poor in adulthood, so she can't throw or give things away, and she'll buy more shit and stack it on top of her other shit. Lots of clutter in her house, and the times I have tried to straighten up a tiny bit to make things a little more accessible and look a little nicer, she'll go and shit it up again. The fun part is she always bitches that her house is a pigsty and that no one can clean it.

Yeah, I just learned the hard way that's it's not worth spending 4 hours cleaning the living room and kitchen so she can turn it into ground zero in 10 minutes looking for some insignificant piece of shit by ripping the house apart.

The worst part is she hoards MY stuff too. I can't give stuff away without her having a bitch fit because she doesn't want me to give away something she spent money on. Even if it's broken, doesn't fit or I have no use for it. Even if I bought it with my money. You should have heard the fit she had when I got rid of all my XL clothes in high school after I lost 70 pounds. She'll dig in the trash now and then to make sure I don't throw away anything she feels is of use. Like how she dug a dried up, crusty lipstick of mine out of the bottom of the trash and said she'd use it. Yeah, it's been in the bathroom for five years and she hasn't used it once.

Or like how I cleaned under my bed and left a big bag of old high school worksheets in a bag to be burned. Her and her moron had to open the bag and look at every single thing in there to make sure I wasn't throwing away anything of theirs.

Don't get me started on her moron. He saves every little scrap of paper and piece of shit and leaves it all over the kitchen table. He even has an 8-inch-thick stack of losing scratch-off tickets because he thinks he can get money for them by claiming them on his taxes.

I understand it can be a problem and I admire those who find the strength to overcome it and work toward realizing that you can throw things away. I would only feel comfortable making fun of my mother's and her idiot's habit because I can't stand either of them. The assbag you had to deal with needs to have a porcupine hoard tabasco-basted pinecones in his rectum.

[Opalin]

*hugs* people should not insult what they do not understand. My grandmother has hoarding as well, and it's only that she's been moved out of her house and into a home that's kept it from going overboard

[EricKei]

Shadow - simple enough solution: If she won't let you throw something away, give it to her and say it's a gift. It's her stuff now, and she can store it in HER room.

[MoonCat]

I have some of this tendency myself, possibly because growing up, my mother and grandmother saved things like boxes, wrapping paper, empty plastic containers, etc. And we did re-use a lot of stuff, so it's hard to break the habit. Add to that the fact that I'm probably one of the least domestic people you'll ever meet, and it gets a bit cluttered around here. We just do a massive clear-out every so often. Thank god for the city's recycling program!

[FiddleFaddle]

WHAT an Anusburger! D<