We got an order recently for a laptop and some gaming accessories.
The accessories matched the laptop, the billing address matched the card, and the customer's location while ordering matched the address. Sounds like a pretty straightforward transaction, right? Oh, I wish. The next morning, we got this:
Me: Thanks for calling [us], this is [me]. How may I help you?
SC: Yes, I got two boxes here that I never ordered, and a charge on my credit card for $xxx.xx! YOU SCAMMED ME!
Me: I'm sorry for the trouble. Can I get your order number? It should be on the shipping label next to Reference.
SC: xxxxxxxxxx
Me: OK, is your address [address]?
SC: Yes.
Me: Is your phone number NPA-NXX-XXXX?
SC: Yes...
Me: Are you [name]?
SC: THAT'S MY SON! HOW DID YOU GET MY SON'S NAME, ADDRESS, AND PHONE NUMBER?!?!!eleventy?
Me: OK, I think I figured out what happened. It looks like [name] ordered these items without your knowledge.
SC: HE WOULDN'T DO THAT!!! YOU ENTICED HIM TO DO IT!!!
Me: Ma'am, how old is your son?
SC: 16! WHY?
Me: He ordered a popular laptop and gaming accessories for it. In addition, it looks like he searched for the exact products' model numbers and took just under 7 minutes to order, from the home page to checkout, most of which was spent on the payment entry screen. Chances are, he didn't need any enticement. HOWEVER. We will be happy to take everything back for a full refund, no questions asked.
SC: WELL YOU'D BETTER!
Me: Just a moment, I'll get two return shipping labels emailed to you, one for each box. Can I place you on a brief hold while I get that started?
SC: IF YOU PUT ME ON HOLD, I'M CALLING THE POL---*hold button*
Me: *sends return labels and resumes call* Thanks for waiting. I've sent you two FedEx return labels. *explains where to put them and how to arrange return*
SC: OK, hold on.
Son, in background: Hey, my laptop is here!
SC, in background: What?!
SC, to me: I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!
Me: Thanks for calling [us], have a wonderful, sunshine-filled day!
The accessories matched the laptop, the billing address matched the card, and the customer's location while ordering matched the address. Sounds like a pretty straightforward transaction, right? Oh, I wish. The next morning, we got this:
Me: Thanks for calling [us], this is [me]. How may I help you?
SC: Yes, I got two boxes here that I never ordered, and a charge on my credit card for $xxx.xx! YOU SCAMMED ME!
Me: I'm sorry for the trouble. Can I get your order number? It should be on the shipping label next to Reference.
SC: xxxxxxxxxx
Me: OK, is your address [address]?
SC: Yes.
Me: Is your phone number NPA-NXX-XXXX?
SC: Yes...
Me: Are you [name]?
SC: THAT'S MY SON! HOW DID YOU GET MY SON'S NAME, ADDRESS, AND PHONE NUMBER?!?!!eleventy?
Me: OK, I think I figured out what happened. It looks like [name] ordered these items without your knowledge.
SC: HE WOULDN'T DO THAT!!! YOU ENTICED HIM TO DO IT!!!
Me: Ma'am, how old is your son?
SC: 16! WHY?
Me: He ordered a popular laptop and gaming accessories for it. In addition, it looks like he searched for the exact products' model numbers and took just under 7 minutes to order, from the home page to checkout, most of which was spent on the payment entry screen. Chances are, he didn't need any enticement. HOWEVER. We will be happy to take everything back for a full refund, no questions asked.
SC: WELL YOU'D BETTER!
Me: Just a moment, I'll get two return shipping labels emailed to you, one for each box. Can I place you on a brief hold while I get that started?
SC: IF YOU PUT ME ON HOLD, I'M CALLING THE POL---*hold button*
Me: *sends return labels and resumes call* Thanks for waiting. I've sent you two FedEx return labels. *explains where to put them and how to arrange return*
SC: OK, hold on.
Son, in background: Hey, my laptop is here!
SC, in background: What?!
SC, to me: I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!
Me: Thanks for calling [us], have a wonderful, sunshine-filled day!



Wonder if SC got whiplash from this ...
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