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Really, Guys? Really?
So I have a new job at a local arcade! Love it, love the coworkers, love being able to sit down (that doesn't sound like much, but when it was never offered at most of my previous jobs...), love the hours, love most of the customers...
Well, it wouldn't be going in the Sucky Customers section if I loved all of them, now would it?
I'm sure they mean well, but some of my customers make me wonder about the quality of our educational system. <<;
They can't count...
More times than I'd like, I've had kids come up to the redemption counter either asking me basic math questions concerning their tickets ('is 5000 more than 1000?') or trying to get items they don't have enough tickets for (often by quite a large margin). I don't mean little kids, either; that would be understandable. I mean kids who should be old enough to understand how numbers work.
They can't read...
When will people start reading the labels right above each game's coin slots that read '# TOKENS'? Not a week goes by without me getting at least one complaint about a 'broken' machine that ate their money, only to find that a) they tried to use actual money, the machine rejected it, and they didn't bother looking in the coin return, or b) they (or one of the previous customers) tried to use actual money, it got jammed up in the machine, and now a dozen or so coins are packed in and above the coinmech. It's six letters and a number right above your hand when you try to put the coins in, what is so difficult?
They have no observational skills...
There are basically two ways to approach the redemption counter at this arcade, under the current set-up. One of them takes you right past the ticket counting machine. Explain to me how you managed to miss the large purple box with 'PLAYERS TICKET STATION' written on it in huge yellow letters? Especially since half the time, you also pass by some other person putting tickets into the box?
For that matter, if a game is taped up, not lit up, or obviously not even assembled, then no, you can't play it right now. Also, if it doesn't have a ticket slot, it's not going to give you tickets, no matter how many points you managed to get.
They can't follow directions...
Seriously. It's written right above the slots in question, in (again) yellow letters on a purple background: 'insert tickets here' and 'take receipt here'. So why, in the name of angora caterpillars, do we get grown men and women trying to do the exact opposite when they reach the ticket station? This is especially bad now that one side is malfunctioning; they see the 'insert tickets' slot taped up and try to put the tickets into the slot where the receipt comes out.
...or understand context clues...
Pop quiz! You're playing a game. This game involves pushing a button to make a ball drop from the top of the machine, after which it will land (or more likely eventually settle) into one of a number of holes on a rotating plate. Most of these holes have corresponding ticket prizes, but your ball ended up in a hole labeled 'add bonus ball'. When it did so, the number on the sign labeled 'bonus balls' went up by one, but no extra balls fell and you didn't get any tickets. Do you:
A) notice the sign and the other hole your ball didn't land in, labeled 'drop bonus balls', and come to the conclusion that the machine did exactly what it was supposed to do - namely, add one to the number of bonus balls that will be dropped when 'drop bonus balls' is hit;
B) notice the sign and other hole and politely ask the arcade worker what 'add bonus ball' means;
C) fail to notice both the sign and the other hole, and complain to the arcade worker that the machine didn't drop your bonus balls;
D) fail to notice anything, and complain to the arcade worker that you didn't get any tickets from that machine over there?
Time's up! If you answered C or D, then like too many of the people who play that game, you fail. See me after class.
(Oddly enough, I've never had anyone do B.)
Raw Thrills...
...has some of the worst coinmech holders I've seen in my admittedly-short arcade career. Guitar Hero Arcade is the worst, though; pretty much every single day, I get at least one person whose tokens have gotten trapped between the holder and the top of the mech (or worse, have fallen out completely and are sitting on top of the box they're supposed to fall into) because there's an enormous gap between the two that shouldn't be there. And that's on slow days.
I feel sorry for those customers.
Shadows of things to come... (or, Unfortunate Name)
(This is as best as I can remember the conversation. It's probably not entirely accurate, but hopefully the general idea still comes across. Also, not sucky, but I might as well end the post with something funny for all involved, right?)
Manager: 'So we should be getting a phone installed soon. I'm going to ask the owners not to put us in the Entertainment section of the phone book like <old arcade>'s owners did.'
Me: 'Oh?'
Visiting Ex-Employee: 'Ha, I remember all the calls we got because of that, asking if we were a strip club!'
Me: 'Oh. Man, I hope they don't do that, then. Can you imagine what it'll look like if they put the arcade in the Entertainment section, with the name 'Players'?'
Well, it wouldn't be going in the Sucky Customers section if I loved all of them, now would it?
I'm sure they mean well, but some of my customers make me wonder about the quality of our educational system. <<;
They can't count...
More times than I'd like, I've had kids come up to the redemption counter either asking me basic math questions concerning their tickets ('is 5000 more than 1000?') or trying to get items they don't have enough tickets for (often by quite a large margin). I don't mean little kids, either; that would be understandable. I mean kids who should be old enough to understand how numbers work.
They can't read...
When will people start reading the labels right above each game's coin slots that read '# TOKENS'? Not a week goes by without me getting at least one complaint about a 'broken' machine that ate their money, only to find that a) they tried to use actual money, the machine rejected it, and they didn't bother looking in the coin return, or b) they (or one of the previous customers) tried to use actual money, it got jammed up in the machine, and now a dozen or so coins are packed in and above the coinmech. It's six letters and a number right above your hand when you try to put the coins in, what is so difficult?
They have no observational skills...
There are basically two ways to approach the redemption counter at this arcade, under the current set-up. One of them takes you right past the ticket counting machine. Explain to me how you managed to miss the large purple box with 'PLAYERS TICKET STATION' written on it in huge yellow letters? Especially since half the time, you also pass by some other person putting tickets into the box?
For that matter, if a game is taped up, not lit up, or obviously not even assembled, then no, you can't play it right now. Also, if it doesn't have a ticket slot, it's not going to give you tickets, no matter how many points you managed to get.
They can't follow directions...
Seriously. It's written right above the slots in question, in (again) yellow letters on a purple background: 'insert tickets here' and 'take receipt here'. So why, in the name of angora caterpillars, do we get grown men and women trying to do the exact opposite when they reach the ticket station? This is especially bad now that one side is malfunctioning; they see the 'insert tickets' slot taped up and try to put the tickets into the slot where the receipt comes out.
...or understand context clues...
Pop quiz! You're playing a game. This game involves pushing a button to make a ball drop from the top of the machine, after which it will land (or more likely eventually settle) into one of a number of holes on a rotating plate. Most of these holes have corresponding ticket prizes, but your ball ended up in a hole labeled 'add bonus ball'. When it did so, the number on the sign labeled 'bonus balls' went up by one, but no extra balls fell and you didn't get any tickets. Do you:
A) notice the sign and the other hole your ball didn't land in, labeled 'drop bonus balls', and come to the conclusion that the machine did exactly what it was supposed to do - namely, add one to the number of bonus balls that will be dropped when 'drop bonus balls' is hit;
B) notice the sign and other hole and politely ask the arcade worker what 'add bonus ball' means;
C) fail to notice both the sign and the other hole, and complain to the arcade worker that the machine didn't drop your bonus balls;
D) fail to notice anything, and complain to the arcade worker that you didn't get any tickets from that machine over there?
Time's up! If you answered C or D, then like too many of the people who play that game, you fail. See me after class.
(Oddly enough, I've never had anyone do B.)
Raw Thrills...
...has some of the worst coinmech holders I've seen in my admittedly-short arcade career. Guitar Hero Arcade is the worst, though; pretty much every single day, I get at least one person whose tokens have gotten trapped between the holder and the top of the mech (or worse, have fallen out completely and are sitting on top of the box they're supposed to fall into) because there's an enormous gap between the two that shouldn't be there. And that's on slow days.
I feel sorry for those customers.
Shadows of things to come... (or, Unfortunate Name)
(This is as best as I can remember the conversation. It's probably not entirely accurate, but hopefully the general idea still comes across. Also, not sucky, but I might as well end the post with something funny for all involved, right?)
Manager: 'So we should be getting a phone installed soon. I'm going to ask the owners not to put us in the Entertainment section of the phone book like <old arcade>'s owners did.'
Me: 'Oh?'
Visiting Ex-Employee: 'Ha, I remember all the calls we got because of that, asking if we were a strip club!'
Me: 'Oh. Man, I hope they don't do that, then. Can you imagine what it'll look like if they put the arcade in the Entertainment section, with the name 'Players'?'
I have to say, though, it's probably a good thing that arcades of that nature are relatively rare now compared to the last couple of decades...just for the reasons you mentioned. (This from a child/teen of the early 80s who was at the local arcade practically every day... 
)
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