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  • Land-lines and Communication Required (long)

    Intro:

    This happened a few months ago, and the longer I thought on it the less I felt like the terrible situation was entirely my fault.

    When I was a lot younger, I tried to get regular babysitting jobs. But there weren't enough kids in my neighborhood, and I gave up on it. So two months ago I got a call asking if I could babysit for them. I had babysat for them before, and it was a great experience all-around, so I agreed. They added that it would be from 4 to 11, and I explained that I worked until 6, and would have to see if I could get off.

    The Day Before:

    I came down to meet the mother and their two dogs the day before.

    They also explain that they have given up their home phone for cell phones, and wanted me to have my cell phone on at all times so they could call me. I gave them my number (after finding it).

    They talk to me a bit about their daughter, and I ended up adding that I learned to read when I was their daughter's age. They asked me how, and I said that my parents read to me every night, and when I watched TV, they turned the subtitles on. They joked that I would get a bonus if I taught her how to read.

    The only foreseeable issue at this point was that the mother was so pregnant she could go into labor at any moment, and could go into labor while they were out, meaning I'd spend all night with their kid.

    I didn't imagine the cell phone thing would be an issue, because I didn't imagine they'd need to call me before I could work out where I'd get service in their house.

    4:00-5:00


    I show up early with my sister the day of, because I cannot get off work. As they knew this was a possibility, they were fine with it. I let them meet her and her meet the child. I explain to her what they explained to me, and everything is good.

    After two hours, I show up. My mom has texted me saying the mother is freaking out.

    I gave my sister my cell phone, so they would only have to contact us with one number. I specifically tell her this is what that is for. After I leave, they ask her for her cell phone number, and refuse to let her say that she has my cell phone, and doesn't know what the number is, but knows that they already know. They would not let her say anything besides a phone number, and in desperation, she gives out our home phone number.

    My sister leaves.

    5:00


    So about a half hour after I arrive, Mom texts me saying that the mother has left a message on our machine and is extremely upset because she cannot reach my sister or me.

    I check my cell phone, and it has no service. Because we live in the middle of nowhere. Cell service is notoriously scattered here, which is why it is stupid to even have a cell phone here, much less one that replaces your land-line.

    I find a place that does have service, and find a message from her on my cell phone. I call her and she berates me for not answering my cell phone, saying she was sure that we had all died or something. I try to explain that I didn't receive the call, but I know a place I can leave my cell phone that will have service now. I assure her that her daughter is fine, has eaten a little, and is pretty cheerful.

    6:00


    I give her daughter some milk and start to cut up an apple and put together a bagel, which is my dinner, because that is all that was in my house. Their dogs take my bagel off the table and eat it.

    8:00


    Now the little girl starts having fits, running to the door and screaming at it. I look at the time, and it's now eight. I put her in her pajamas, because she knocks over a plant and spills water on her clothes. I try to read to her, and explain that her parents are coming back, as she cannot speak words, but what she is screaming vaguely sounds like "ma-ma" and "Da-da."

    9:00


    She's getting more and more upset that her parents are gone, and I decide to put her to bed. I lead her to her bedroom, and place her in her bed. I sit down and explain that, if she falls asleep, when she wakes up, her parents will be there. I stay with her until she has fallen asleep, rubbing her back to try and keep her calm.

    Just as I start wondering why I'm trying to reason with a girl who isn't even potty-trained yet, she seems to accept this, and goes to bed.

    11:15


    Just as I was wondering if I was being psychic yesterday, they come in.

    They are surprised their daughter is even in bed, and asks what time she went to bed. I told them nine, and the mother is mad. She says her daughter will wake her up in the middle of the night.

    No-one told me this. I was told I could put her to bed anytime, and if she cried for longer than ten minutes, to take her back to bed.

    The mother pays me, and even tips me. She admits this is the first time she has let someone babysit her kid.

    Well, that would have been nice to know up-front.

    Then she bitches about my sister's brain burp, and I say: "Well, when she was your daughter's age, she was severely Autistic. With intervention and treatment she has moved up the spectrum drastically, and is pretty high functioning now, but sometimes she doesn't always get what everyone means." Then she finally shuts up.

    Conclusion:


    I mean, yeah, there were some things I could have done to make this better. I could have told them myself that she had my cell phone before I ran back to work. I could have turned down the job (which I rather wish I did.) I could have told them up-front that my sister has a condition, but she hadn't had an issue in about a year with it until that day. I shouldn't have mentioned it at all since I knew ahead of time it wouldn't come into play, but I just hoped that if I mentioned my sister had a condition she'd STFU.

    On their hand, they could have recognized that cell phones come with their own set of issues. The father said that their daughter was prone to stealing cell phones and dunking them in toilets. That was much more likely to have happened than anything the mother should have worried about. Two, they must have known cell reception in their house was crap, and could have told me where I could get it. Three, they could have let my sister talk.

    And fourthly, they could have told me that their daughter had never been babysat by a stranger before. Because, while I may not have ages and ages behind my belt of babysitting, in fact, they were well aware I hardly had any babysitting jobs, but was red-cross trained, it is just common sense that this may cause issues and I should be aware of it. And when their child is being babysat for the first time, maybe don't leave for such a long time, especially if you expected her to be awake the whole time. And if you expected her to be awake the whole time, COMMUNICATE THAT TO ME.

    Seriously.

    TL;DNR


    Communication is required. Do not tell me she can go to bed anytime, then get upset that she was put to bed at a specific time, which is utterly reasonable, seeing as when I was her age, I was put to bed four hours earlier than when I put her to bed.

    Also, do not refuse to let someone talk unless they give you information you already have, then get upset when they give you the wrong information. (If you had a land-line, that problem would have been a non-issue entirely.)
    Last edited by Cooper; 10-09-2011, 04:20 AM.

  • #2
    Doesn't sound like it was your fault to me either. So you forgot to mention that your sister had your phone...that could happen to anyone rushing to get to work.

    At least you learned to trust your gut feeling on babysitting jobs. And I wouldn't ever babysit for this particular family again.
    I'm sorry, but I've reached my maximum allowable exposure to stupidity limit for the day. I'll have to get back to you tomorrow.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Cooper View Post
      TL;DNR
      Too late

      Yeah, perhaps if you are going to be leaving your child alone with a stranger for the first time you should do a little research first...you know, so that both you and the babysitter know exactly what to expect and you can work out any potential issues beforehand. Sounds like you did a great job despite the challenges
      "I was only LOOKING, I didn't mean to enter my card's CVV and actually ORDER! REFUND ME RIGHT NOW!!"

      Comment


      • #4
        Okay, my son admittedly goes to bed REALLY late for a two-year-old. Like, usually around 10:30 PM, because we just can't settle him any sooner. I don't mind too much, because it means he sleeps in in the mornings.

        However, I'd be too embarrassed to even admit to a sitter that I let him stay up that late, let alone berate them for putting him to bed earlier. We don't have a landline either, but our cell phone reception is pretty good.

        Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong to me.

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Cai1987 View Post
          Okay, my son admittedly goes to bed REALLY late for a two-year-old. Like, usually around 10:30 PM, because we just can't settle him any sooner. I don't mind too much, because it means he sleeps in in the mornings.
          It's nice to know that there are other parents that do this too. All the other moms I know flip out when I tell them what time bedtime is. Then they shut up when they hear he wakes up at 10am.

          back OT: As a mom who hasn't had to deal with outside babysitters before I can understand being a bit over the top with the worrying. But as you said COMMUNICATION is key! and if you could get my kid to go to bed at nine I would be singing your praises!
          Now, if you smell the roses but it doesn't lift your spirits, you're either allergic to rose pollen or you need medical intervention. ~ Seshat

          Comment


          • #6
            Her parents were a million times better. In contrast, the first time, they went away for about four hours to make sure nothing went wrong, the daughter liked me, etc, and then went away for a much longer time when there were no problems, the next day.

            They gave me an expected bed time, and had her fed before I saw her both times (as compared to this Mom who was kinda 'well she doesn't really eat, just try to get her to eat something eventually.') It meant I ended up sharing what was left of my dinner with her, as she kept reaching towards bits of my apple.

            My parents found that if they put me to bed early, I didn't scream and cry all night, so I was put to bed very early. As they put it, after six, I was hell. So they put me to bed at five, and I was fine.

            As for putting the kid to bed early, as I've found, it seems to help if you stay with the child until they fall asleep, and act like you're falling asleep yourself. The four year old insisted that I go to bed with her, and the two year old fell asleep in like, seven minutes when I was next to her crib.

            Comment


            • #7
              That doesn't sound like it was your fault at all. Not only did you do your best, you even saw to it there was a temporary replacement for you while you were still at work.
              Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

              Comment


              • #8
                I stopped baby sitting ages ago for this exact reason. The nail in the coffin for me was when I was stuck twenty miles away from my home during my senior year of high school.

                The kids I was babysitting may full well have been my cousins, but their mother was just a good friends with my mother. Anyway, the night I baby-sat them she failed to tell me that one of them needed his medication at a certain time and he freaked out. They were extremely horrible to me the night before and of course I had to spend the night there since, again, I lived twenty miles away.

                Baby-sitting can be a lot more stressful than people think it is. It's why I won't even babysit my own cousins anymore.

                Comment


                • #9
                  There were many many layers of fail, Cooper, but none of them yours.

                  *Not having a land line when your house is in a cell-dead-zone and there is a small child in the house is a fail.

                  *Having a new babysitter in general, and the first time the kid was ever babysat, and the leaving for more than an hour or two is a fail.

                  *Not having any food in the house to feed the babysitter, especially during a meal time, is a pathetic fail.

                  *Not giving you specific instructions on the care and feeding, then getting mad that you didn't follow the specific instructions that you were never told in the first place is a major fail.

                  You taking care of their kid, keeping her safe, feeding her, changing her, and getting her to bed as she was melting down was wonderful - exactly what you were supposed to do.

                  And I am so freaking jealous of you parents of kids who will sleep late if they go to bed late. My oldest gets up around 5-5:30a regardless of if we get him to bed before 8 (our goal) or after 10 (when we're all out as a family for something). We cannot win. *sigh*

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Just a note, but not all cell phones work on the same towers. What might be a dead zone for one service isn't for another if the dead zone isn't caused by building interference.

                    But I never trust not having a land line.

                    ^-.-^
                    Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I drew the line at using internet phone instead of a traditional land line...I won't go to just cell phones only. Even then I hate thinking that I might have problems if the power goes out, but the perks of internet phone are pretty good. Also, as I understand it in the US, even if you don't have traditional residental phone service, if you have an older phone that plugs into a wall jack, you CAN call 911 on it.
                      "I was only LOOKING, I didn't mean to enter my card's CVV and actually ORDER! REFUND ME RIGHT NOW!!"

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        We have a cell tower around here, that apparently works, and works with the exact company that my phone is. It's about a mile from my house. It hasn't changed anything. It isn't notoriously a dead zone with just one person... nobody can use their cell phones properly around here. At least, nobody I know.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Andara Bledin
                          Just a note, but not all cell phones work on the same towers. What might be a dead zone for one service isn't for another if the dead zone isn't caused by building interference.

                          But I never trust not having a land line.

                          ^-.-^
                          The break room and office at work would get crappy reception on my Cricket phone but now that I have AT&T I get much better service. My coworker has had the same experience since she switched from Cricket to Sprint.
                          Driver Picks the Music, Shotgun Shuts His Cakehole.
                          Supernatural 9-13-05 to forever

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Cooper
                            We have a cell tower around here, that apparently works, and works with the exact company that my phone is. It's about a mile from my house. It hasn't changed anything. It isn't notoriously a dead zone with just one person... nobody can use their cell phones properly around here. At least, nobody I know.
                            Let your service know, they might have something wrong with the tower.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              They're getting absorbed by another company, so hopefully things will improve soon.

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