SC posts complaint about me online

[Goddess of Retail]

Hello again, everyone.

Okay, I have some free computer time today, so I figured why not write about the SC who wrote a bad review about me on yahoo.com reviews. That's right, you read it correctly. He didn't write a review about the STORE I work at, he wrote a review about ME. Not how these review sites are supposed to work but...

So coworker S was teasing me earlier today about how I'm such a heartbreaker to our comic reservists (they tell us what books they want each month, we pull them automatically so the books don't get sold out before the customer has a chance to come in). I had no idea what he was talking about, so S pulled up yahoo.com and went to our store's review page. Most recent one? Basically a customer who wanted to let everyone know how much of a "bad person" I am.

I'd love to actually post everything that he wrote (minus my name & store name, of course) but as I don't know if that's allowed, I'll give red highlights on why he thinks I ruin the shopping experience for whoever he is.

1. Says that one of the counter girls (description of me right down to my ponytail and the pentacle I always wear) used to "chat me up each time I was there". Says that he was 'dumb enough' to fall for my niceness at first, but then between him getting tired of reading comics AND the "realization that every other male customer was getting the same exact thing from her ended up bringing me to the point where I cancelled my subscriptions".

2. Claims that he left for about 6 months then decided to stop in again 'out of curiousity' and that I came up to him and "started the EXACT same BS again with "Oh, we really miss customers like you", "I really like the conversations we had", etc. " So he then tries to 'call my bluff' by asking if I wanted to go out for dinner sometime so we could have more 'conversations' and that I was then "spewing out some lame excuse for turning it down before I even finished talking. The point being: she expected me to fall for her act again."

3. In this entire review, he has never ONCE mentioned the store itself. He finishes up his rant with "So, not only is it a bad place to shop, but bad people work there. Do yourself a favor and go ANYWHERE else nearby that sells comics." He then recommends a comic shop that is about 45 minutes away from our store, saying that it's a 'bit of a drive, but worth it'.

Now, I have 2 major issues with this so-called review. First of all, these review sites like yelp.com and yahoo.local are supposed to be for people to discuss stores. And even though we all know that only the SCs ever post to them, they aren't ever meant for personal vendettas against one person. I feel it was incredibly rude for whoever this guy is to talk about all the 'wrongs' I'd done to him, and not even PRETEND to make it a store review. I mean really, his maturity level = zero.

The other problem is that he's essentially saying I'm a horrible person for being friendly to him. The fact that, whoever he is, I recognized him after 6 months and recalled conversations we had previously had...that to me would show that I cared about him not only as a customer, but as a person. This is true for a lot of people who work in hobby/gaming shops, because the guy who's your cashier on Monday might just be sitting with you at a game of Magic or D&D on Thursday. We're friendly people (mostly) and I at least love talking with my customers, male AND female, about the latest issue of Detective Comics or what adventure our Pathfinder characters completed last night.

Here I thought that good customer service meant remembering people, being nice to them, having actually conversations about their purchases (not just do you want a bag for that?) and generally showing that you appreciate them spending their money there. For me, it's not an act: if you shop at my store, I'll try my best to be nice and make sure you actually want to come back. This can mean everything from giving your crying kid a free lollipop that I pay for later, or simply asking how your day really was if you come in looking depressed. What I don't get is why my usually routine of pleasant-ness seems to have utterly failed with this one...

The only thing I can think of is that he took my nice-to-everyone attitude and equated it with being some type of emotional whore. The fact he states that he "realized every other male customer was getting the same exact thing" seems like he originally thought he was "special" and then found out that no, I'm just nice to everyone. I do think it's weird that he only thinks it's male customers that I'm nice to...although given that our demographic is about 90+% male, I don't know if he ever even saw me deal with a female customer.

Sorry for the long-ness this time, but I'm at a loss as to what I should do. I've have coworkers tell me that I've gotten bad comments from customers who call me a "tease" or who get angry when I turn them down for dates, but this is the first time I know of that someone has posted such a 'complaint' for any online reader to see. I don't evn know why I get so many guys asking me out...I'm not the only girl who works here, I don't wear ANY makeup, I never wear skirts, dresses or jewelry other than my pentacle. I usually just have my hair in a ponytail or headband, and while my complexion is fair and clear, I think I'm very average looking. I can't even say that I'm flirty, because I can't stand being hugged even by our more regular customers, and I'm in no way a touchy-feely person. I've always been just one of the guys, and I sincerely don't want to date anyone right now. Other than doing things like not bathing, acting stupid, or rolling in mud, I've run out of ways to keep people from asking me out. Just because I'm a single woman who works at a gaming store doesn't mean I'm hard up for dates!

Has anyone else here, either female or male, had this happen to them? What did you do about it, and did it help? Or, conversely, if you've never had this problem, do you have any good advice about how to handle this?

[siead_lietrathua]

sounds like he thought just because you were nice to him it means you want to date him. i hear it alot from other girls i geek around with. when he realized that you are just nice and not wanting to go out with him he decided the "mature" thing to do would be to make you out like some sort of hussy. heck he even admits to asking you out in his review and acts like your turning him down makes you some sort of lying hussy.
wash your hands of this fool and ignore him.

[Pedersen]

The problem you're experiencing is due to a stereotype being closer to reality than many people are comfortable with: The male comic shop customer.

Many of these people, once they hit or pass puberty, discover that there's these strange creatures out there called "girls", and have no clue how to talk to them. Furthermore, because their interests are considered juvenile by mainstream society (admit it: how many times have you heard lines like "comic books are for kids!"), and their opportunities for interaction with the opposite gender are limited.

Now in comes you: A female who is apparently nice, willing to talk to them, willing to listen to them, and willing to treat them like actual human beings.

You could look like a cross between Chewbacca and Jabba, and smell like Yoda's swamp, and you would still be viewed as attractive by at least some portion of your customers (a higher proportion than if you worked in a regular store, definitely).

Put all of that together, and you're someone in an unenviable position: You will have customers who view your conversation as being flirty. They will feel like you are treating them special (and, in their life and social experience, you are treating them special, don't forget that they're used to being ridiculed for their interests), and you therefore might be interested in them romantically.

Sadly, it's more likely for you, I think, than for women working in other stores.

The only advice I can give to you is to try to make sure your customers know you're not trying to woo them. If you do it, be blunt. As soon as you get the idea that someone might be interested, simply say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mislead you. I can be friends, but not more, not right now."

For them, you've already given cues that say you are interested. Regular cues won't work. You must be blunt.

I'm not at all saying to quit, far from it. Just be prepared to deal with others like that customer. He's not going to be the only one. With the knowledge of what's happening in his mind, maybe you can be better prepared for the next time.

[Mytical]

Both the above. It's because you wouldn't date him. He mistook niceness for flirting, and it is YOUR fault because he is clueless. Ignore him and move on

[Nurian]

Maybe someone will report him to Yahoo. That's not a review, that's a personal attack.

[BroSCFischer]

...our demographic is about 90+% male,

...

...I'm a single woman who works at a gaming store...

I believe we have the EXACT reason that you are having this sort of problem. If you note, the first part I quoted, a female interested in gaming is a rarity. Couple that with the fact that of those 90%, roughly 50-75% have probably not had more than one date with a woman, and probably were rejected from any relationship due to their obsession with comics/gaming.

Now you have a female, who works in a gaming store (shared interest), who (in their perception) is interested in them, and who they can talk to comfortably (probably nervous as hell around most women).

Sorry, but I doubt their is a solution to your problem. Most of the gaming geeks who would perceive your niceness as flirty, also don't take rejection very well, no matter how soon you would turn them down (see the internet poster for an example).

SC

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

How DARE you do your job well while being female!

[Cia]

You're female and you talk to them so in their minds that means you want them. When they discover you talk to everyone and they're not special they revert back to junior high school mentality.

[EricKei]

I would say report his review to Yahoo while being sure NOT to mention that it was aimed towards you (or ask a friend about it) -- he doesn't talk about the store at all, he openly says that he's complaining because he got shot down because he misinterpreted *you doing your job*.

[Hanzoku]

The only advice I can give to you is to try to make sure your customers know you're not trying to woo them. If you do it, be blunt. As soon as you get the idea that someone might be interested, simply say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mislead you. I can be friends, but not more, not right now."

I'd actually cut out the last bit. Ambiguity might lead to continued attempts. Not right now means that maybe later, it would be possible.

But I agree with the shared consensus - he thought you were interested in him specifically, and when it turned out that wasn't true, he started lashing out as best as he could.

[Barracuda]

Well, I don't know how to respond to the guy's attitude. As to your problem with guys hitting on you? Wear a fake wedding band. I suppose it's a cop out, but if you flash it whenever a guy starts trying to hit on you, you shouldn't even have to say anything. And since you aren't interested in a relationship right now, you AREN'T available, so it's not even really dishonest.

[Mr Hero]

I was once in the SC's position, though I never got shut down (due to not asking them out) or wrote a scathing review. I was easily flattered by female attention when conversations were beyond that of the reason of my visit. Just as Pederson stated, my interests are not all that popular. (Hint: See my avatar) I also knew that only politeness would even win their hearts, though I never did get the courage to ask anyone out. Sadly, I don't think the SC will learn from this experience and will be doomed to repeat history. TC, don't change your way of doing business. Because for every scathing review about you leading the guy on, there will be tons more glowing reviews about how you went above and beyond.

[RealUnimportant]

Well, I don't know how to respond to the guy's attitude. As to your problem with guys hitting on you? Wear a fake wedding band. I suppose it's a cop out, but if you flash it whenever a guy starts trying to hit on you, you shouldn't even have to say anything. And since you aren't interested in a relationship right now, you AREN'T available, so it's not even really dishonest.

To some men, that might work; to others, it just makes the target "more of a challenge"...

[Nemesis44UK]

Agree with all above. The guy mistook your friendliness and genuine interest as something else. This is down to a lack of maturity on the SC's part.

He then got butthurt because he realised that he wasn't anything special, because you are friendly to all your customers.

He could have taken the rejection with good grace and realised he got it wrong, or his offended ego decides that you are some sort of brazen hussy.

Reminds me of the Big Bang Theory episode where Penny walks into the comic book store and everyone just stares at her. A real live woman? Wow!

You want your store to be different, to have a personal touch by being more than a robot at the till and this is what happens?

[Caractacus_Potts]

Has anyone else here, either female or male, had this happen to them? What did you do about it, and did it help? Or, conversely, if you've never had this problem, do you have any good advice about how to handle this?

Are you kidding? I've read numerous posts about this on this site! You don't even have to be genuinely friendly for it to happen. The only difference is that the SC usually acts like a fool and gets angry in front of a few employees and other customers when they find out that, no, the pretty girl who is paid to smile at you and talk to you actually doesn't want to date you and bear your children.

I have to admit that this is the first time I have heard of one so clueless that not only did a little time and thought not cause the completely justified embarrassment but actually turned into righteous indignation now immortalized on the internet! It's to bad the site has your store and location. I'd copy and paste it sans identifying info, post it to a blog and point everyone I know to it.

If that thing ever goes viral and someone who knows this kid sees it and realizes the kid wrote it...well...he would never live it down.