A canonical list of SCs

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

The Decoy Customer:

Shows up at your cash register holding a couple things in their hand asking if you can check them out. When you say yes, they come through with the overflowing cart they hid from your view.

Bonus points if this happens right before your break or the end of your shift.

[Dreamstalker]

There's a Coupon Faery at my store. No idea if these coupons ever get picked up; usually they go ignored and are shuffled to the back of the shelf by the stock crew only to be found by someone who tries to use it long after the expiration date. Sometimes they're even smart enough to tear off the date. If I have a pen on me when I first find it I will mark the coupon so I know when it expired...nice try, but I know where you got that coupon from and when.

[Rana]

The "Don't Want It" SC: I've nicknamed part of my department, Card & Party "The regretful item they don't want dump zone" I find bread, plates, all kinds of clothes, magazines. You name it, it's there. I just can't stand this.

These guys are the worst. They always do it at the tills at my place, and it's always chilled goods that they will not declare that they 'don't want' it .... we'll find it hours later and have to write it off. The ones that hand you the item are the better ones, but still if you didn't want it why pick it up??? DOAH

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Mr. 15 - 30 :- Turns up 15 minutes before you close the store. Insists on spending 30 minutes filling their trolley full of items, there is no rushing the 15-30 as any attempt at ushering them to the till will fall on death ears.

Just Made it Maude :- Sneaks in via the exit door when you have just closed then entrance door. Usually does this on a Sunday when the store closes early, and anyone that sees the 'just made it Maude' sneak in will attempt to do the same thing.

The Try before you buy :- You catch them eating large amounts of loose product, always says they are trying out the product before buying it. Yes I get you want to try it, but usually it takes one nut or two nuts to decide, hey I like this ... not a large handful of a product we sell by weight. Bonus points if they come to the till and ask for a bin to throw the pistachio shells away.

I can haz coupons :- Always asks if I have coupons behind the till. No I don't have coupons behind the till, we never have had coupons behind the till and I can't magically make them appear just because you want them. Doesn't understand explanation that coupons are offered in newspapers and on Facebook on an occasional basis, and that they should be sure to check those media for coupons. Bonus points if they come back another day for the EXACT same conversation as if they expect company policy to have changed.

'It's a Scam' Sarah :- Has come in for an item that was advertised over a month ago, and is now only offered as a limited supply item. Often the item is sold out when they come to purchase it, and thus we are waiting for a new shipment - a shipment when we have no idea on when it will show up, or if it will do so before their deadline on needing said item. Won't listen to apologies or explanations - instead proceeds to yell about false advertising and scams. Bonus points if customer service lies and says that we have the item in stock when we don't have any at all.

The Late Refunded :- Wants a refund on an item they purchased months ago. Gets upset when you tell them you only have a 21 day refund policy, and there is no way you can process the refund as the item isn't in the system any more. Bonus points if they say a competitor would have refunded it if it was their product.

[HBC_Chick]

Not sure if anyone covered these..but here's mine

The Sniffer: They can be seen in the shampoo, lotion, body wash..anything that has a smell to it that they can get to. I'm a sniffer sometimes, myself. But these sniffers are a different breed. They don't close the cap till it snaps closed. Even the sound of people opening the bottle makes me cringe. I cringe when I'm in the shower and open my own!

The "Where is?" Dingbat: This one hasn't bothered to look at all for the product they want. In fact, they're looking so hard for a busy employee to bother to find it for them. I stop counting at 50 people who ask in a day. Not one day has gone by that I havent gotten to 50. There are signs, clearly marked. We even have an app. You can type in what you're looking for and it will tell you exactly where the product is in the store. I hint by pulling out my phone and showing them this feature...only to be met with "Oh, I see they have that to make you people even lazier than you already are." I'm boiling at that point. Because, SC, YOU walked in, made a beeline for me to find something with a sign just around the corner. I'm not the lazy one here, I'm trying to show you something that makes things easier for everyone. I don't like to bother anyone working, and I will walk the store a good 5 times before thinking of asking. These people don't just ask where something is in your department. They ask where scales are, batteries, trailer hitches. They're upset when I don't hold their hand and baby walk them to the department and hand them the item.

Screamers: A department away from me is the toy dept. As soon as I hear, "No, not today, we just bought a toy last time, if you behave, you can pick out candy at the checkout." I know what's coming next...god awful, loud screeching. And the parent lets the child scream. Now, sometimes, the kid just likes to scream, because ONE TIME someone laughed. Now this kid comes in weekly screaming the entire time. Last time, I have NO idea what they were shopping for. But, they were there TWO HOURS, and the child screamed the entire time. I always holler out "DONT LAUGH!!" it only makes him think he's cute, and continues to do the screeching.

The "Don't Want It" SC: I've nicknamed part of my department, Card & Party "The regretful item they don't want dump zone" I find bread, plates, all kinds of clothes, magazines. You name it, it's there. I just can't stand this.

And then there's the Coupon Faerie: These do gooders stuff coupons in front of products. Sometimes this is ok..but many times the coupons are expired, and they've just stuffed them there because they're too damn lazy to throw the coupon away. Weekends are when the Coupon Faeries visit.

I have more I'm sure I'll think of...there's SO MANY

[Deserted]

So that hell will be a relief, of course.

A local political cartoonist ran a comic the day after we first set that record (1991, I believe. Maybe '90 or '92, I'm a bit fuzzy on that...) It showed two devils sweating heavily. One of them said "Man, it's hot as Phoenix today."

But if y'all think it's hot here, let's not forget that there's an annual marathon through Death Valley during the hottest part of summer. IIRC it hits 130 on a regular basis there.

[Sliceanddice]

its more of a 'we been here so long anything cooler is too damn cold' kind of thing

[dalesys]

Why ANYONE would want to live in such a place, I will never know.

So that hell will be a relief, of course.

[Monterey Jack]

105 is relatively cool during the summer here. A bad day is more like 120.

Why ANYONE would want to live in such a place, I will never know.

[Deserted]

105 is relatively cool during the summer here. A bad day is more like 120. We hit 122 last year; that's a tie for the all-time record high for Phoenix. (Officially, anyway. I've had plenty of days over the past several years where my local unofficial temperature was higher.)

[notalwaysright]

105 degrees.. Gah. I'm a product of my location I guess. Bring on the rain, baby!

[Deserted]

Often? No. But we've been having significantly-higher-than-usual humidity this past week or so, and that's on top of ~105-degree weather. (I guess it's monsoon season. Shrug.) The heat is common; the humidity, not so much -- but at 90 degrees? A fairly nice day.

[Jay 2K Winger]

90 degrees. You're so cute.

Note the "with humidity." Is it often very humid in your part of the Southwest?

I did live for a few years in Texas, and while it was definitely hotter than the DC area, I would say (purely subjective here) that the summers here in the DC area are worse than in Texas.

Texas just had a dry heat. Up here, we get suffocating humidity to go with it.

[Deserted]

90+ degree day with high humidity

90 degrees. You're so cute.

[Monterey Jack]

Mr. The Heat Is On: The kind of customer who will say something to the effect of "Hot enough for ya...?" when you come into the store after pushing carts on a 90+ degree day with high humidity, and you're literally DRENCHED with sweat and red-faced and gasping. I realize these kids of people aren't being malicious and are usually trying to make light of a bad situation with humor, but still...SHUT. UP. It's like saying, "Whoa, you look tired! You should get some rest." to a harried waitress on an incredibly busy night in a restaurant.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Mr/Mrs Retail Know It All. This person claims to work in retail, so they know that policy can be bent to their will! This person is usually a liar, tho occassionally you will get a person who does work in retail; this person knows damn well that the policy can't be bent and simply doesn't care.