A canonical list of SCs

[Mr. Security]

Jekyll/Hyde: When you are dealing with them they are the worst person. If you are telling them they have to leave it's F*** this and F*** That, Don't F-ing touch me, you can't tell me what to do etc. but the second they deal with someone with more authority such as police it's "Oh I don't know what the issue is, i'll leave. Not sure why there is such a big fuss. I wasn't doing anything, they wouldn't tell me why" This can get you glares from the police or high authority of "What you couldn't handle that yourself" making the situation all the more frustrating

[Mr. Security]

The Eskimo: Willing to go out to shop amide temperatures approaching and below Absolute Zero.

Well to be honest here in Canada often times you have no choice but to go out in the cold

[Mr. Security]

Customer Who Cried Wolf: These are the people who will constantly lie and tell you something is wrong just to see you react to it. Sometimes it as simple as a mess some where or a person fighting or swearing but the really bad ones are the ones who want to see the biggest reaction they can and will demand police be called for some made up reason. They will do everything in their power to get the biggest response. They will tell you they are or someone else is suicidal. They will claim to have a weapon or seen someone with a weapon they know all the "buzz words" to get the biggest response. When police arrive they become very excited and if they don't get the response they want they become upset. The ones who want police called on themselves take great pleasure in being handcuffed and love the attention they receive when being escorted out. These people are often well known to police as they do it on a weekly if not daily basis. They often will do this many times in your building and every time try and find someone new to trick into calling police.

[apocolypse101]

The Eskimo: Willing to go out to shop amide temperatures approaching and below Absolute Zero.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Should've Gone To Specsavers.

This customer is seemingly unable to see anything unless they are led to the product and shown it. Don't bother giving this customer directions, cuz he/she can't understand how to follow even the simplest directions that a two year old will have no problem with. Sometimes, even if you physically take the customer to the shelf that carries the product, he/she will still bleat about not being able to find it until you lose all patience, take the product off the shelf and put it in their hand. Sometimes this customer is rude, but most of the time, they're polite but just exasperating.

[Mr. Security]

Mr. or Mrs. Forgetful: They are always losing something. They are always coming by looking for something they left behind and can't find. Clothes, phones, sun glasses doesn't matter they will forget where they left them. They come by at least every other week asking for something else they have lost. You swear they have gone threw half a dozen cellphones in the span of a year. They are different from the Scammer/fisher in that they simply can't seem to keep track of any of their things and will often dump their entire bags on your desk looking for their lost item.


Lost and Found Scammer/Fisher: These people are always trying to scam free stuff. They will come by and give vague descriptions of something in the hope the employee will show them something they can claim. If the employee is smart and asks for a more detailed description they will come back when a different employee is working a try again. Some are even blatant about it and will just ask if they can look threw your lost and found to take something and get mad when you tell them no. Some even turn something into lost and found and at they will be back for it if no one claims it. then come back at a later date demanding the item back and become angry when you won't give it to them. Saying they found it, they should get to keep it.

[Shotgun Chuck]

Canonical List: Drive-through edition

Cash 'n' Dash: The Cash 'n' Dash (Hurrius supersonicus) doesn't have time to wait for receipts and change. They just hand you exact change (or round up to the nearest 5 cents) and drive forward to the second window, leaving you to count their money with the next customer already at your window. Fortunately, I've not had anyone get the change super wrong while doing this yet.

Change Hunter: The Change Hunter (Jinglia sleuthicus) is the exact opposite of the Cash 'n' Dash. Rather than having exact change when they get to the window (and being in a bit too much of a hurry to get to the next one), this person gets to your window and starts filching around in their purse/car for spare change rather than round up and give you all bills.

Mr. Monopoly: Mr. Monopoly (Bigbillicus annoyus) orders less than $20 worth of food and then smacks a hundo in your face. Bonus points for doing this right after you clock on, when you have $125 at most in your till, very little of it in tens and twenties. It will be very tempting to hand him a bunch of rolled & loose coins and say "Take it or leave it, buddy. It's a burger hop, not a bank."

The Splitter: The Splitter (Multis ticketus) wants their order on separate tickets, but still wants to come through the drive-through. The ones who only want two are only slightly annoying at best, but the ones who want four separate orders for one car, as far as I'm concerned, are 100% OK to be mad about. Especially when they get to the window and decide that they'd actually like to recombine all those tickets back into one. I wish I was making that up.

Purchasing Officer: Whether they're in his car or waiting for him somewhere, the Purchasing Officer (Monstrous orderus) is ordering for at least four people besides himself. Customers will stack up behind the speaker as you ring up this customer's $50+ order, then get stuck in a failure cascade of 10-minute drive through times as the enormous purchase works its way through the system. Ironically, they do the worst damage when the restaurant is operating below maximum capacity; I usually refer to these as "shoulda-been-a-front-counter orders", but even there, they can cause massive logjams to both outlets if they show up during a slower period when there's only one active cook for both front counter and drive-through.

Shakequake: "Hey, I'd like 2 strawberry milkshakes, no whip cream on those, a vanilla milkshake, no whip cream, a chocolate shake, no whip cream, three double cones of cookies 'n' cream ice cream..." That says all you need to know about Shakequake (Extraworkia maxima). Substitute other time-sucking cashier-made items if your restaurant doesn't serve these things or it's less annoying there. Such an order at the wrong moment can easily cause a failure cascade of 7+ minute drive-through times, and these people usually do show up at the wrong moment - usually at the beginning or middle of a line, unless they're bridging the gap between one line and the next.

Diesel Cowboy: WHY ARE WE YELLING AT EACH OTHER?! I DUNNO! MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE DIESEL PICKUP YOU WON'T TURN OFF! Whether they be a brodude or an innocent workman, Diesel Cowboy (Coalrollius loudpipia) simply isn't aware of how much louder even a stock diesel truck is compared to a gasoline-powered equivalent. Much shouting ensues as you try to hear (and be heard) over their beast of burden. Some do get the hint and cut it off, but others... don't.

Please note, also, that the Coin Bomber and Change Dumper do show up occasionally in the drive-through.

[Bumbershoot]

SC's I have known

Kindergarten failure: refuses or is constitutionally unable to put items back where they found them, and have no understanding of the concept of waiting their turn. Will interrupt CSA who is doing a task for another customer, demanding immediate attention and getting huffy at the least when told they will be helped when I am done with the first customer. Cannot or will not read signs, cannot calculate even the price of two items, cannot distinguish between colors (Bonus points of said person is not SC, but a fellow employee)

Money dumper: Drops wadded up cash with coins inside the wad on the belt or the counter. Gives outraged sighs while the cashier untangles the wads and carefully counts out the correct amount. Horrified when coins fall out of the wad of cash and fall into crevices that will not be excavated until the store is torn down, and shocked that the cashier can't count that lost coinage as part of the payment.

What-do-you-mean-you-don't-remember-me? As if this isn't a huge store with 1000s of customers a day. You waited on me only three months ago.

Clothing compactor Bought 17 clothing items and rolled them all up into a ball to be dumped on the belt. Eye-rolling and impatient sighs ensue when cashier has to untangle the ball to ring up items.

SCO bandits: scan items at one terminal, bag it, push cancel and walk away with the bagged item. Scan cheaper items at different terminal, pay for them, and walk away with all items, paid for and not. Travel in packs, all of whom perform the same trick at different terminals so the only SCO host is going back and forth to different terminals to approve cancelled transactions and can't keep an eye on which members of the pack have paid and which haven't. Funnily enough, all wear clothing identifying them as students in the small state college 10 miles down the road in a town that literally has one college, one convenience store/gas station, houses for college employees, a couple of churches, two grain elevators, and NOTHING else. Other members of the pack take motorized carts and race them around aisles, playing chicken and bumper cars.

The vandal: opens packages to see what's in them with no intention of purchasing. This is minor compared to the tester, who opens packages to try the item, even though the item can only be used one time and is therefore ruined by the test. Examples: the party aisle: confetti cannons, silly string, stink bombs.

The highly sensitive: Everything the cashier does is interpreted as an insult to the customer. The bakery never puts the clearance tags on correctly, so ringing up 15 clearance bakery items is a chore, often involving item correct because the original bar code isn't covered, using three fingers to cover the original barcode while using the hand scanner with the other hand, peeling stickers and reapplying them hoping to get the bar code to align properly, attempting to decipher the number code so the cashier can type it in, and attempting to scan the items with decorative frosting while not turning the packages upside down. Any sign of impatience or frustration on the cashiers face is a grievous insult to the customer, because the entire world revolved around her (I've never seen this from a male) and therefore the cashier is mad at her and not the bakery employees.

[Mr. Security]

The WIFI campers: These are the people who will spend all hours of the day at your place just standing around on their phones, tablets and/or Laptops using the WIFI and god help you if they find a plug because you'll never get rid of them. Even it's midnight they will still be there. When telling them they can't use a plug because it's clearly in an area there not suppose to be you'll be in for fight. Comments of "Oh I'll just be 5 minutes!" when they have been hanging around for 2 hours or the extreme of "There no sign saying I can't your making up rules!". The most extreme cases of the WIFI camper will be the ones who will sit on the floor with not only a phone but a laptop and even a tablet and have several drinks and snacks, blaring music and videos and will lose their shit if you even dare to tell them that they have to leave.

[AkaiKitsune]

I'm not sure if this one has been covered yet. But how about the magician?

This one is most prevalent in grocery stores I think, but can be found haunting other places too. He or she will dump their order at the cash register and suddenly realize they have forgotten something. Fair enough we all do it. So they run to go get it. You ring everything through but the customer still hasn't returned. Time passes and people are lining up at your till. So you suspend the transaction and carry on helping the other people in line.
About a 1/2 hr later the magician comes back. Wondering why you haven't just stood there waiting and did your job instead. Why is he suddenly banished to the back of the line?

Sometimes as a bonus, when he goes to pay you find out he's broke. Usually he just walks away.

The other one I have is The Voider. This is the person who knows they have less than XX.xx amount to their name (which is usually not what they have anyway) that they can spend. Instead of putting the items they need at the front of the order and the items they want but maybe can't afford at the back. Then watching the total on the screen to make sure they don't go over. They just don't care. They will make you ring up that $100s of whatever. Then their card declines. You will spend the next 10 minutes scrolling up and down the order for items they decide they could do without. Trying their card repeatedly to see if the total is less then whatever is in their account (which of course they don't have online banking or knowledge about what is in their account.). After about $40 worth of individual voids it finally goes through. The customer leaves and you are left to internally dispair the next time your manager discusses why you have the highest record of voids in the store.

[IHadGasOn2]

I'm new to this site and love it!

How about...

Mr/Mrs "YOUR [insert service or machine] doesn't work!"-You can't tell people that it's almost always user error.

or

Mr/Mrs Register Whisperer. These fine folks like to tell you what the price of everything is as your scanning it just in case you are trying to sneak a sale past them. They also have the uncanny ability to be completely shocked by the total and flummoxed by the idea of sales tax.

or

"The Store Historian"-this gem loves to tell you how long they have been coming to your store in an attempt to garner favor or receive preferential treatment.

Shotgun:

A snarly mutation of the Coin Bomber is the Helpless Coin Bomber. I have a regular customer that dumps his overflowing sandwich bag of change in his hand everyday, presents it to me and insists I physically take exact change from his hand. Is there no end!?

I am also a fan of Hansel and Gretel's cousin the Bad Merch Timebomber. He/she leaves merchandise all over the store but it has to be something that he/she has acquired from a freezer or refrigerator. You can almost hear the wheels squeaking in their head as you pick up room temperature bologna in the bread aisle...so close to a sandwich but so far. Bonus points if its an ice cream sandwich that happens to melt onto and ruin an innocent dry good...aka collateral damage.

[Shotgun Chuck]

Puffer Dumper: The Puffer Dumper (sneakius disposius) is the reason that you find seemingly endless amounts of cigarette butts and gum wads in the rocks, shrubbery, and parking lot itself. Despite the amazing quantity of these items you find, you will never catch this customer in the act, leading many to wonder if the disgusting litter is actually teleported in from legitimate disposal facilities by a malevolent phantom.

None of this will prepare you, however, for the moment someone leaves a used cigarette on a table.

Preventer: As a newbie cashier, you may be tempted to embrace your secondary duties with gusto, actively searching for ways to make the restaurant cleaner and prettier. Unfortunately, attempting to complete a task will send out a cosmic signal to multiple potential customers to get hungry and come to your restaurant; these customers then become the Preventer (taskia interruptus) for the duration of their stay. Preventers love to order milkshakes and pay for large orders with credit cards, thus requiring you to waste time getting their signature; they also love to show up while you're making milkshakes and ice cream for other customers. Preventers also travel in loose, unorganized packs; the Effort Eraser (oblivious lateorderus) is probably a subspecies of Preventer.

There Can be Only Ones: A slightly less annoying version of the Coin Bomber (jinglia maximus) is There Can be Only Ones (messius pocketus). Rather than dumping massive piles of loose change on you, this customer pays with a massive pile of one-dollar bills. This pile may be neat, or it may be presented as a messy wad of crinkled-up bills that will have to be straightened to sit properly in the drawer; in the first case, be on guard against counting errors that could result from ones blending in with each other, in the second, excess time will be consumed. I've personally had orders in the high teens and low 20s paid for partially or completely with excessive quantities of ones, but one of my coworkers apparently had to deal with a $51 order paid for entirely in ones.

[Becks]

They'd probably prefer you roll the coins first though.

My bank of choice gladly accepts unrolled coinage. Their coin counting machine is neat.

[Shotgun Chuck]

Quick change scammer

This customer, often mistaken for a Drawer Count Wrecker, will "find" various coins and repeatedly try to alter their tender in order to get different denominations in change after the cashier has entered their initial tender. This is done in order to confuse inexperienced cashiers, with the desired goal of leaving with more change than that to which they are entitled.

The thing about that is, I'm extremely anal about my drawer counts and always have been; I won't accept a single dropped penny if I can help it, so you can bet I'll do my dangedest to keep track of these additional coins.

Easy (hypothetically; I've never had someone that I knew was trying to cheat) way to tell the difference: if the cents they come up with match the cents of the purchase total, thus giving them only bills back (or are at least fairly close, giving them few coins back), they're probably a DCR. If they're just throwing random coins at you and never adding up to an amount that would make sense, they're probably a scammer.

[wolfie]

Quick change scammer

This customer, often mistaken for a Drawer Count Wrecker, will "find" various coins and repeatedly try to alter their tender in order to get different denominations in change after the cashier has entered their initial tender. This is done in order to confuse inexperienced cashiers, with the desired goal of leaving with more change than that to which they are entitled.