Children Who Behaved

[purplecat41877]

Yesterday, a customer came through the checkout with her children and she had several WIC checks. I noticed that one of the items was not the right size listed on the check. I got one of the service desk employees to help and I got the one who was familiar with WIC checks. She let the customer know that WIC was very strict about the items purchased with the WIC checks.

She also noticed that some of the items were not WIC approved and went to replace them with items that were. I noticed that one of the milks was not WIC approved and the customer was OK with not getting it.

Even with all that, the transactions went smoothly. Her children didn't act up even once. All of them behaved themselves. Even the baby behaved.

[Shopping4Dummies]

Children Who Behaved

Let me ask this question to the general public. Why is it such an amazing thing to find behaved children? I've noticed that these days you'll have a nine to one ratio of SC brats to well-taught kids. People actually walk up to me and tell me with astonished voices how impressed they are at my kids' behavior, as if they have just seen Big Foot or little green aliens walking quietly beside my shopping cart. So, why has it become so hard for parents to just be parents and demand a certain level of behavior from their offspring?

When I was young (oh crap, a "when I was your age" speech! That makes me ancient!) we behaved or we got the strap. Now I don't need to use the strap, but my kids are simply great to take out and about. They actually stare at the little brats who scream and kick and whine as if they had lost their minds. And people actually stare at them as if there is something wrong with them. WHY?????

[Aggravated Associate]

You're absolutely right, it's truly depressing that it's abnormal for a child to be well-behaved. Well done on being able to actually succeed at parenting.

This just made me think of a story from my own job. I was checking out a family of three women (apparently sisters) and a smattering of children. One was a baby in a stroller. She was adorable and I asked one of the women how old she was. If memory serves, she was under the age of two. For some reason, about a moment later, the baby began to cry. She cried for only a few seconds until the noise escalated. The woman looked right at her, snapped her fingers, and said, "No, ma'am." The baby instantly shut up. I don't know how or why that's possible, but I'm still shocked, even now, that a girl that young knew to behave by merely being told two words. Terribly impressive.

And yet I'm still sad that I only have one story about well-behaved children, amidst dozens of horror stories

[ShinyGreenApple]

I had a little boy, around 7 or 8, come to my line one time, with a box of cookies from the bakery. I asked him if he had a customer reward card, he said no, but his Mom always used her phone number, so he told me that instead. I told him that his total was $2.50.

Awesome little kid: "Dang, I thought those cookies were $3.99!"

He then handed me his money and I sent him on his merry way, not before he made sure to exchange a few "Here you go, ma'am", and "Thank you, ma'am, have a nice day."

While there was nothing particularly special about the transaction, both me and the lady behind him were standing there going And then almost simultaneously burst out in amazement about how polite he was. I wish I could have met his mother, I would have given her a hug

It really is a shame that kids like we see in these posts aren't the majority.

[anyanka2]

I've had some really well behaved kids come through my lane. One day this week, all the available baggers were busy and a woman w/ two elementary aged boys came through with a decent amount ~$45 worth of groceries. She saw we were very busy and asked me if it was okay if her boys helped bag the order and I told her it was fine. The kids did a great job bagging the order with some help from the mom and myself and helped her carry the bags out.

I love customers like that woman and her kids. They make the job worth it. Kudos to them for being so helpful.

The day before Thanksgiving is sheer hell at most grocery stores, but I had several customers whose children helped out the baggers either bagging or carrying out the order, thus making their jobs a bit easier on that crazy day.

[Saydrah]

This just made me think of a story from my own job. I was checking out a family of three women (apparently sisters) and a smattering of children. One was a baby in a stroller. She was adorable and I asked one of the women how old she was. If memory serves, she was under the age of two. For some reason, about a moment later, the baby began to cry. She cried for only a few seconds until the noise escalated. The woman looked right at her, snapped her fingers, and said, "No, ma'am." The baby instantly shut up. I don't know how or why that's possible, but I'm still shocked, even now, that a girl that young knew to behave by merely being told two words. Terribly impressive.

Babies are really neat positive reinforcement learning machines! I'm not fond of them myself, but training them to respond to simple cues to impress people when they're teeny is fun. I discovered this as a babysitting pre-teen when I had thought the one year old I was sitting for was asleep and decided to train the family dog to sit while the kid napped, and then turned around to find the kiddo copying the dog's sitting. I got some cheese from the kitchen and trained the kid, too, and thereafter any time I had to watch the one year old, I could stop her from going anywhere she wasn't supposed to by yelling, "Sit, Jane!" (name changed). Never did tell her mother.

Imagine my surprise to find out that this is actually now a known way to deal with babies and small children- in addition to all the usual communication and reading to them and whatever else parents do (told you I don't really like kids, don't even know how to care for them) I just read recently that there is a movement to use Skinnerian operant conditioning principles, in a similar way to clicker training with pets, to teach babies helpful behaviors that keep them safe and make them possible to take out in public without making a scene. Some people use a method actually developed from clicker training called TAG (Teaching with Acoustical Guidance) and others use other positive reinforcement techniques.

[TryNotToBeThatOne]

It's not uncommon in SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) families for the children to be taught to go completely still when they hear the word "hold" shouted. "Hold" is (or was) the word commonly used when someone is about to wander into the middle of the fighting ground and spread to be used anytime someone is about to step where it's better not to.

[Emrld]

I think part of the reason that it is such a shock to the system when children behave well . . .is it is no longer the norm.
Sadly as my favortie quote goes "Parenting is a VERB" and so many parents just don't get it.

I know I personally make a point to tell parents/ children how well behaved they are in public to hopefully help with the positive re-enfocement of good behavior. It also goes to how I was raised . . .if we were at the store and enough people commented positively and no negative comments or even looks then we got a treat. (Ranged from a cookie - to a toy - to an ice cream) So maybe subconsiously I am trying to help other kids get treats.