ID-10-T ^2

[Gerrinson]

ID-10-T the first

So, this manager contacted me again about a different problem. It seems that she was having an issue with a CD that doesn't play in the store CD player. Sadly, in our company, a CD player does fall under IT. Oh, and just to note, this is an old basic Walkman-style CD player that plugs into a couple of cheap speakers. They use it to play samples for customers.

I go down and confirm that the CD doesn't play. Nor do any of the other 20 CDs that vendor sent us (all copies of the same CD.) So, my suggestion is that the CDs are copies of a bad master and to contact the vendor for replacement.

They email the vendor who notifies them that he made the CDs in a new format that is incompatible with some older model CD players. He has even had complaints from other stores about it. Sounds like a resolution, right? Well, I wouldn't be posting here if it was.

They contact me about the problem, again, and send me a copy of the vendor's email. I suggest they buy a new CD player that works with that format or ask him to make copies in an older format to replace the product we've got on hand. Or just sell the bloody product with a warning that it may not work in older CD players. Y'know, sensible suggestions.

The manager comes up to my desk and the following ensues:

SM = store manager
Me = Me

SM: Gerrinson, I need you to fix our CD player so it will play <vendor>'s CDs.

Me: Didn't he email you that it was a formatting issue with his new CDs and that it just doesn't work with older CD players?

SM: Right. So you need to update our CD player.

Me: That would be accomplished by buying a new one. You can fill out a PO and I'll order it if you need me to do so or you could just run down the road to Radio Shack or K-Mart and pick one up.

SM: No, I'm not buying a new one. Just take the old one, plug it into the Internet and get an update.

Me: Sorry, it doesn't work that way. I couldn't even begin to plug that into the internet, even if there were some kind of updates available.

SM: Look, I'm not buying a new CD player. You're the computer expert so just do your thing and make this work.

Me: Thank you for acknowledging that I'm the expert here. Thus, in my expert opinion, it is not possible to update your CD player over the internet or in any other way except to purchase a brand new replacement.

SM: Well, that's not good enough. I need you to do your job.

Me: If you feel that I haven't done my job, please feel free to lodge a complaint with <my boss>. But in this case, it is physically impossible to do what you are asking. The 'update' you are asking for doesn't even exist even if I could plug your CD player into the internet. That is both my expert opinion and the facts, so take it or leave it.

SM: Fine, I'm going to send <my boss> an email about this and then we'll see what you have to say.

Me: Good enough for me.

ID-10-T the second - a new one rears her head:

BG: We have a program that manages our dining reservations. We have a main terminal at the host stand and several PCs that interface with that terminal. The main terminal doesn't actually store the reservations, those are kept off site and it downloads the info from the servers run by the software vendor. If the main terminal is down, the whole thing goes down because that terminal is the only portal to the data.

Yesterday, 5 minutes into lunch, the dining room manager calls the server room. Not the Help Desk, but the line that is reserved for use by our IT contractor. I happened to be in the server room and noticed the caller ID said Host Stand so I snagged the call figuring it was an emergency and they had missed me at my desk.

Phone call:

DRM: Dining Room Moron Manager
Me: That would be moi.

DRM: Hey, <dining software> is down. The terminal can't connect.

Me: Okay, did you try rebooting to see if that would fix the problem? We did lose connectivity briefly in between breakfast and lunch, so that might do it.

DRM: (nearly shouting) I don't know, I've tried everything and nothing works and its completely dead!

Me: Well, I don't know if... (I tried to say if their server was down, which would cause the problem but is offsite so out of my ability to fix)

DRM: (clearly yelling) Well I don't know either and we've got guest coming in so you need to get someone here who DOES know to fix it! <click>

Me: DRM, are you still there? Hello? She hung up on me while I was trying to help her. Oh, that's not going to go over well.

When I call back, there's no answer. Good way to get help. Still, guest service is #1 priority, so I walk down to look into the issue. On the way, the Chef - who I've had clashes with before - sees me and starts yelling at me that <dining software> is down and it's lunch time and why the hell can't we keep this sh*t running? I tell him I'm on way to work on it and I might have fixed it if DRM had the courtesy to not hang up on me. He backs off at that. A nice change, really.

At the Host Stand, there is a line of guests and no DRM or any other staff member. Nice. I have to politely apologize to the guests for the delay and explain that I'm IT and was called to repair the terminal so I can't actually seat them. Thankfully, they were quite understanding.

I move the mouse, poke the touchscreen, and tap the keyboard. I get nothing. I lift the unit out of its alcove and see that there are no lights. Curious.

I press the power button. The unit turns on, connects, and works just fine. Simultaneously restoring functionality to the other three terminals that connect through this one. What a f*cking miracle.

DRM comes over and snaps 'Did you fix it yet? See all the people waiting?'

I politely turn and say 'Why yes, I did correct the issue. It seems that all you have to do to use it is to turn...it...on!' There were a couple snickers from the guests in line that just warmed my heart.

I continued with 'If you had tried to power cycle the terminal, as I tried to tell you over the phone before you hung up on me, you would have had service back and could have already seated all of these very patient guests.'

And I say to the guests 'I'm sorry for the delay, I've resolved the issue and DRM will be happy to seat you all.' And exit stage left.

I have, of course, noted this all in great detail in both the case notes and an email to my boss. Part of our current policy is that people must try at least rebooting or power-cycling before calling us. Since turning the machine on was the fix, I'm quite sure DRM didn't try anything of the sort.

[joe hx]

SM: Right. So you need to update our CD player.

while you're at it, could you update it to play dvds and blu-rays too?

[lordlundar]

SM: Fine, I'm going to send <my boss> an email about this and then we'll see what you have to say.

Me: Good enough for me.

I wonder if your boss will let you call them a moron as well?

[El Pollo Guerrera]

ID-10-T the firstI politely turn and say 'Why yes, I did correct the issue. It seems that all you have to do to use it is to turn...it...on!' There were a couple snickers from the guests in line that just warmed my heart.

I continued with 'If you had tried to power cycle the terminal, as I tried to tell you over the phone before you hung up on me, you would have had service back and could have already seated all of these very patient guests.'

And I say to the guests 'I'm sorry for the delay, I've resolved the issue and DRM will be happy to seat you all.' And exit stage left.

Oh, and could you upgrade my car to a hybrid? If possible, I'd prefer an electric but I don't think my car has enough memory for it...

[EricKei]

Oh, and could you upgrade my car to a hybrid? If possible, I'd prefer an electric but I don't think my car has enough memory for it...

Oh, that's no problem. We can just download some more RAM for it over the INTARWEBS

[MrSmiley]

They email the vendor who notifies them that he made the CDs in a new format that is incompatible with some older model CD players. He has even had complaints from other stores about it. Sounds like a resolution, right? Well, I wouldn't be posting here if it was.

The translation for that is "he started playing with the burn settings on his software and made some hybrid format that's no longer considered a CD-ROM disc" (e.g. if it were a commercial product it wouldn't be allowed to use the Compact Disc logo).

If you had permission from the vendor, probably the easiest solution would be to throw the CD into YOUR computer and rip it down to it's bare audio files and then remake it as a PROPER cd that would play on the old cdrom. Of course the downside to that is that you'd have to keep doing it with the vendor's whims (why give an excuse for more work? Especially if there's no praise)... and also I'm making a lot of assumptions about the simplicity. For instance if the vendor started avoiding actual cd audio tracks in favor of say... MP3 data files... then you probably wouldn't have enough room on the disc to do that.

Then again, I'm still in the dark ages and it's a great place to be. I don't need no iPod docking station in my car for I have a *Cassette tape converter to headphone jacks*!

[Gerrinson]

I wonder if your boss will let you call them a moron as well?

As long as it is in his office and behind closed doors - sure.

He's on vacation this week, so he won't even get the email until sometime next week. And even then, when he hears what kind of equipment it is, he will agree with me and just tell SM the same thing I told her.

Oh, and for anyone who cares, apparently DRM (ID-10-T #2) has been pissed off at me ever since I pwned her fragile ego with her own idiocy in front of guests.

That, and she's had a couple other issues that look like her staff playing pranks on each other by changing settings on the registers. She got upset when I pointed out that these setting don't usually change themselves (i.e. Windows themes, color settings, rotating the display 180 degrees, etc. Nothing that ruins the machine but it causes problems that I have to fix.) I asked her (politely) to remind her staff not to change the settings as it causes problems all around. She was angry at my 'baseless accusations' because her staff 'would never, ever, ever do that.'

Someone asked me why DRM was upset with me and I said "That depends. Which problem did I fix for her today?"

[Calud]

Someone asked me why DRM was upset with me and I said "That depends. Which problem did I fix for her today?"

Classic.

Please do tell us what your boss says about the CD-Player.

[EricKei]

For instance if the vendor started avoiding actual cd audio tracks in favor of say... MP3 data files... then you probably wouldn't have enough room on the disc to do that.

Wait...wouldn't going from Redbook (WAV) to compressed MP3 *reduce* the file sizes? It doesn't change the fact that you're dealing with a real mind here, I was just curious.

[lordlundar]

ah, nvm, I didn't read that right.

[Fox One]

while you're at it, could you update it to play dvds and blu-rays too?

Make it backwards-compatible, too. I've got a few 45s lying around I'd like to listen to. And this is all under warranty, right?

[protege]

Why not install an adapted to read 8-tracks as well

[Ironclad Alibi]

Make it backwards-compatible, too.

Yes, please do. I have some 78s and punched music box discs as well. And I'm sure there are a few wax cylinders and wire recordings laying around somewhere. Oops, almost left out the player piano rolls.

[dalesys]

Why not install an adaptor to read 8-tracks as well

Don't forget 4-track!

Oh, and all the video cassette formats besides VHS & Beta.

[Gerrinson]

So, you all realize if she was reading this post the manager would be asking that I make all those upgrades, right?

For those who wanted an update, she's in with my boss right now getting the bad news that we can't 'update' a CD player over the internet and that the only available options are the ones I already gave her: Buy a new CD player or get different CDs from the vendor. The phrase I keep hearing come out of his door is 'I don't understand.'

Clearly.