Phrases that don't help

[MelodiousBubbles]

"So when you go through the computer, do you have to look at files...? Cuz... I have some private stuff there..."

No, I'm not interested in your porn collection Granted, that's probably where about 90% of your malware and adware came from since you're a dipshit who saves every porn file you come across onto your hard drive (this was a friend of mine).

[Der Cute]

"I need to watch channel 5 on my pc, with the tv card. I can get all the other channels just fine. In the manual here it says to update your vid card drivers. I have a dual core Intel Processor"

*head desk* just cuz your tv show isnt on does not mean the mouse broke it.

[EricKei]

No, I'm not interested in your porn collection Granted, that's probably where about 90% of your malware and adware came from since you're a dipshit who saves every porn file you come across onto your hard drive (this was a friend of mine).

Had a client like this when I worked at a computer repair shop. Older gentle....er, guy. He was no gentleman. Every month or so, he would, without fail, bring in his comp to be worked on. Every month, we found it so clogged with spyware and viruses from his innumerable porn sites that we'd often be lucky to get it to even load Windows. He knew that this was the cause -- we told him that outright quite often -- but it didn't help. 3+ hours, charged by the hour, every month, to reinstall Windows from scratch/update/etc. After a while we just made him a custom Ghost image disc to use to speed up the process so we could get it done faster.

[Midorikawa]

Had a client like this when I worked at a computer repair shop. Older gentle....er, guy. He was no gentleman. Every month or so, he would, without fail, bring in his comp to be worked on. Every month, we found it so clogged with spyware and viruses from his innumerable porn sites that we'd often be lucky to get it to even load Windows. He knew that this was the cause -- we told him that outright quite often -- but it didn't help. 3+ hours, charged by the hour, every month, to reinstall Windows from scratch/update/etc. After a while we just made him a custom Ghost image disc to use to speed up the process so we could get it done faster.

Whoa. So that's where that regular customer I had whom I refused to assist any more went. I ran a PC repair business for a year or so...had the same kind of guy...he also regularly set passwords then promptly forgot them. I ended up just creating a ghost image with a hidden user that I could use to log in and reset passwords for the 12th time that month.

[Samaliel]

Well, on the plus side, they're loyal (if stupid) customers and their repeated business guarantees some income.

[volatile]

"Computer is making weird noises."

[Elevator]

"I got nothin on there"

[slavetotheman]

After a while we just made him a custom Ghost image disc to use to speed up the process so we could get it done faster.

Did you tell him about this/pass the savings on to him or just continue charging him the usual monthly amount?

[EricKei]

Did you tell him about this/pass the savings on to him or just continue charging him the usual monthly amount?

We seriously considered the latter...But we ended up just charging him for actual time served it took. We realized that the Ghost method meant it would be in our shop for less time each month, thus less time for it to terrorize the other computers by its mere presence. I swear the aura of this damn thing (it did have a certain...aroma) caused problems in our other machines merely by proximity...>_> Ever tried to give a Pentium III psychiatric therapy? (that should give you an idea of how long ago this was)

That, and another reason we preferred the Ghost method was that we would never need to have it on the network...We even kept virus definitions on disc for just such an emergency.

[lordlundar]

Ever tried to give a Pentium III psychiatric therapy?

Do threats with a sledgehammer count?

[technical.angel]

Written on a repair form

Password: AABB CC DD (No caps or spaces)

Then WHY WRITE IT IN CAPS???????????

[BeeMused]

"I didn't do a thing..."
And you found they installed new vid drivers or clicked wildly in the settings dialog... but yeah they didn't do a thing.

"But this registry editing trick worked with my computer at home!"
Yeah right, but this computer runs in a company network and changing registry setting X will break your connection to the company network!

"My son knows eeeeeeeevrything about computers and he tried..."
Oh, so you let your son use the computer the company gave you to work from home?

[Captain Trips]

"We already tried that!" Said after I had connected to their local server and had run a compact/repair of the database, and asked them to reboot. (My response: "Yes, but you did that BEFORE I ran the database repair, right?")

[AlleyCat]

"I am at work right now"

Then there is customers who has major problems, but instead of phoning us, they give up. An ongoing issue for the last 6 months ....

[joe hx]

Response to "Try resetting your computer."

"Well, I don't want to do that."

Sorry, if you call for help and then say you don't want to what I told you...