Phrases that don't help

[tamezin]

The great part is that my boss will just remind them off of the policies - they're supposed to call the help desk and log a ticket.

I'm just nice and help them out when they need it (and when they're nice).

You better stop doing that...no good deed goes unpunished. I won't do anything without a ticket anymore. Document Document Document.

That way I can prove they asked for the red fluffy bunny not the green one.

I sick to death of getting bitten in the a$$ for giving our users what they ask for.

[EricKei]

and had run a compact/repair of the database

One thing I do love about Peachtree is that they at least make an attempt to hide the built-in Database Recovery tools from the client (you need to add a command-line argument to the launcher to use them) -- the problem is that the knowledge of how to use them is readily available, and they were never meant to be used without a tech on the line telling you which tests to run and in what order...This is mainly because these "hidden" tests are of a destructive nature -- if they come across an entry that simply cannot be fixed, the tool just sets sets every line item equal to zero. Not exactly elegant, but it is effective in its own bizarre way (you can just run a Search on all Zero-value transactions to see which ones need to be re-entered)...Flaky db integrity, perhaps, but there's a *reason* Peachtree (and QuickBooks) cost less than 1/10 of what "real" accounting programs cost...

It can also do other nastiness in a file that's already messed up, making things considerably worse. The upside is, we have other tools that can fix this...it just makes it a hell of a lot harder if they've used the built-in tools FIRST >_< This is why we harangue people about making backups >_>

[technical.angel]

"If you don't clean my computer, I won't graduate."

[Hyndis]

"If you don't clean my computer, I won't graduate."

I had a customer like that.

He had one of our USB flash drives. He also had his graduating project for his computer science degree on the USB flash drive.

The only copy of it.

Guess what happened!?!?



If he was telling the truth and that was the only copy of the massive project he was working on all year to pass that class to graduate, then he did not graduate. However I do hope he learned a very important lesson, particularly as he was a computer science major.

[Green_Fairy]

*i tested printers for almost 3 years. the hardware guys didn't really talk to the software guys and the software guys didn't really speak english. it was fun.

*every now and then we had an error pop up in japanese. those were fun.

*i was training a new guy and he said to me a few days in and i quote, "hey there's a light blinking on this printer...it says load paper. what's that mean?" i told him to hit it with a hammer until it stopped. sad part is, he almost did.

[technical.angel]

However I do hope he learned a very important lesson, particularly as he was a computer science major.

Pretty much same situation. He had a log that he had been working on all semester. It was due tomorrow. Only copy.

Thankfully, even though Malwarebytes helped to kill his machine, booting his HD as a slave on my PC enabled us to recover his files. So, the poor thing will graduate.. joy.

[Ironclad Alibi]

*i was training a new guy and he said to me a few days in and i quote, "hey there's a light blinking on this printer...it says load paper. what's that mean?" i told him to hit it with a hammer until it stopped. sad part is, he almost did.

Next time tell him he needs to upload the program paper.com to the printer.

[Pedersen]

If he was telling the truth and that was the only copy of the massive project he was working on all year to pass that class to graduate, then he did not graduate. However I do hope he learned a very important lesson, particularly as he was a computer science major.

This has bugged me for a very long time, so I'm going to finally comment on it here. No, this comment was not the source of the annoyance, it was just the one that finally made me start to say something.

The implication here is that, since this guy is majoring in "Computer Science", he should know all about computers, managing them, backup strategies, etc. Computer Science deals with none of that.

Computer Science is about researching the capabilities of computers. Computer vision, natural language processing, new ways of writing code, new ways of visualizing data, restructuring the existing to make it better, etc.

You'll notice that nowhere on that list do we include malware removal, systematic backups, domain administration, user and password management, etc.

The reason for this is simple: Those tasks are not studied by computer scientists. The people who study those tasks in higher education are pursuing a degree in MIS (either Management of Information Systems or Managing Information Systems, depending).

Yes, many people with CS degrees know those things, but they know them from experience. The CS classes taught them none of that. Assuming that someone with a CS degree knows how to manage a computer (or a network of them) is quite similar to assuming that a woman with a large belly is pregnant. You will probably be right most of the time, but the percentage of the time that you are wrong will be embarrassing.

Another way to look at it: A degree in computer science has less to do with maintaining your computer (and its files) than having a driver's license does with maintaining your car.

Please, stop making the assumption that the CS degree people know what they're doing on computers. It's just wrong.

[lordlundar]

Computer Science is about researching the capabilities of computers. Computer vision, natural language processing, new ways of writing code, new ways of visualizing data, restructuring the existing to make it better, etc.

Exactly. Computer Science is theoretical knowledge in computers, and as we all know, theory has NO place in the real world.

[Chromatix]

Indeed, I am very glad that I switched to Computer Systems Enginering. It suited my actual aptitudes much better than pure theoretcal stuff.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Exactly. Computer Science is theoretical knowledge in computers, and as we all know, theory has NO place in the real world.

That reminds me of the quote from Yogi Berra:

"In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not."

[AlleyCat]

Troubleshooting, Connected Not Transferring (computer online but no internet)

Me "Disable your windows firewall."

Customer "Well, I don't want to do that."

Me "The firewall may be the cause"

Customer screaming "THAT IS TOO DANGEROUS TO DO"

Sorry, if you call for help and then say you don't want to what I told you... I have a button on my phone labeled DISCONNECT. And I not afraid to use it.

Do not piss off an internet repair agent ..... we have too much rage putting up with stupid people, including one guy who claimed he wrote a paper on the internet in the early 80s

[crazylegs]

(What's the best number to reach you on?)
This one

This one reared its ugly head again yesterday.

Idiot.

[earl colby pottinger]

What sort access?

Do not piss off an internet repair agent ..... we have too much rage putting up with stupid people, including one guy who claimed he wrote a paper on the internet in the early 80s

First, the internet did exists in the 1980s, I spent a fortune dialing long distance to the nearest portal to post messages in the UseNet groups.

See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada_Remote_Systems CRS gave access to a large number of the usenet groups.

Now if he is talking about the WWW then he is up the creek, except of a lucky few on government run research systems the web was not available to the public or universities until the early 1990s.

[Arcade Man D]

Yes, many people with CS degrees know those things, but they know them from experience. The CS classes taught them none of that. Assuming that someone with a CS degree knows how to manage a computer (or a network of them) is quite similar to assuming that a woman with a large belly is pregnant. You will probably be right most of the time, but the percentage of the time that you are wrong will be embarrassing.

Actually, some colleges are starting to require their CS majors to take some CIS courses, especially the ones that stress the importance of backups. But honestly, anyone who's worked with computers for 4 years should know that you keep a backup in case it fries itself.