Dear....

[Elspeth]

Dear Vacation:
For the love of gord, get here already. I know I am insane for planning a road trip but I want my nights in vegas (Spa suite at the luxor ) and I can't wait for Comic Con!!

Stressed and need a nap
Els

Dear Gas Prices;
Come down already, I have a nice little car that gets really good gas mileage but I don't like you. And I am really not going to like you during vacation

Owner of a Focus who still hates gas prices
Els

Dear Boss (who is also my uncle)
Thank you thank you for staying home and working there. I might finally get some of my projects done.

Your loving niece (and report monkey)
Els

[crazylegs]

Dear Bloues,

If its any help stomach ulcers are caused by bacteria rather than stress... http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/23069185/ .

However if you do want to destress might I be so bold as to suggest paintballing...?

Pooks

[Becks]

Dear roofing company,

I don't care if you send the guys over in the morning to do the power washing. I'm taking a shower tomorrow at 9 am. I'm tired of taking showers at weird times in case someone decides to show up.

Enjoy the show.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr,

me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear J,

Thanks.

Working on it,

Becks

[SengaKitty]

Dear Papa John's Inc,

Thank you for not hiring me Despite your decision that I was underqualified to be an administrative assistant, I am now in a position to be a manager making 75K in my first year. So thank you.

Happily yours
RHPG

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear *sighs* Weather God/dess,

I like you. Most of the time. You bring in the rain and stuff when we need it, your winds drive away some of the pollen and I appreciate being able to walk outside and fly my monster-kite I build every year. I like the sunshine when I've had a crappy day and I can just stand outside with my arms spread and soak up your warmth. I had no problems with you for 21 years.

However (I'm sure that you saw that coming, if you've known me for any amount of time at all), this year you've brought in a Low Pressure System that will not let me sleep.

I ask this of you, my darling Deity, why you feel that in the past week, I should only suffer my Retail days with a full 17 hours worth of sleep under my belt. Please note that I do not ask this out of hatred or some feeling of entitlement, but only of curiosity. As the fact that the past seven days of sleeplessness and uneasy sleep has not caught up with me, I am forever grateful.

It's different this year, and I can only imagine as to why (actually, considering how much my body chemistry has changed since the beginning of the year I think I know why it's different). But I am not jittery, not sleepy, or cranky, and it has not affected my ability to work or convey communication to my customers and co-workers in any way, shape, or form.

For some reason I just felt that you should know. Should you feel the need to enlighten me and rid me of my ignorance, I await your communication with baited anticipation.

One of your Devoted,
RetailWorkhorse

[Shards]

Dear, My hyper-controlling future father in law,

Ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha! Your daughter purposefully failed the fitness test to work at your company, and despite your high position, you aren't quite high enough to bend the rules to force her in anyway! You cannot complain about her not trying, although we both know she didn't, and you cannot force her into a full-time job she didn't want while simultaneously forcing her to spend the summer under your thumb! How does it feel knowing your daughter has a spine?

[iradney]

Dear Bloues,

If its any help stomach ulcers are caused by bacteria rather than stress... http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/23069185/ .

However if you do want to destress might I be so bold as to suggest paintballing...?

Pooks

Dear Pooks

Thanks, but guess what stress does to your immune system?

Ayup.

Appreciate the help tho
*squishies*
bloues

Dear RGM

AAAAAAAAH!!! DIAF! AAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Hope you get hives
rads

[crazylegs]

Dear Pooks

Thanks, but guess what stress does to your immune system?

Ayup.

Appreciate the help tho
*squishies*
bloues

Bloues

I know, I know, it supresses it but it was worth a shot

(really would go with the painballing though its GREAT fun for the day!)

Pooks

[Saydrah]

Dear Bad Luck Streak,

Please end now. I can't deal with this anymore! I have ONE fucking hobby-- my pets-- and I lose two in one month, get hit with massive vet bills, and now I find out that my amazing losing streak is unbroken: Every single female rat I've reserved for breeding purposes has had something bad happen to them. There is one last option, but if that doesn't pan out, I give up: 4,000 miles of driving, a few thousand dollars, and enormous amounts of blood sweat and tears, is enough to throw down a black hole to chase after breeding rats that don't die young in horrific ways like almost all pet store rats.

I did everything right and I can't get a break, and meanwhile people who do everything wrong are happily having litters every couple of months and loving it. If I can't find a way out of this dilemma I will just not have rats anymore, though it breaks my heart to say that.

-ARRRRRGH.


Dear Work,

Plz 2 promote me, yes?

-Hopeful

[tropicsgoddess]

Dear L,

I love you and the family too, but do I HAVE to be at EVERY single family event?!!! You should already know by now for the last three years that I've been living on my own and that I have obligations called a job and bills. I tell you that I might not make it to ___________ family event on _________ day, and you tell me to request time off each time. HELLO?!!! That makes me look bad if I constantly request time off, especially if I'm still on my 90 day probationary period!!! Not only that, but I could lose my job, especially these days when there is a bevy of people that are more than willing to take my job out of sheer desperation!!! You of all people should know that since you're a front desk supervisor for a major hotel chain!!! You didn't say anything about missing K's wedding because of your trip to Ft. Meyers, but you wanna go off on me about missing a little event because I have to work to pay my bills?!! You're a real piece of work. I'll come over, but when I feel that I want to and will be able to. I don't need to answer to you because I am a grown woman, not your bitch. If you want something to boss around, get a sissy man or a dog.


Your big sis.

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear Stupid People--

You see those OMINOUS clouds out there?

You see the wind blowing in several different directions at once?

You know what that means?

There is a TORNADO on the way!!

Some of you DROVE THROUGH IT!!!

YES, THE STORE IS CLOSED for the duration of the storm.

NO, you canNOT buy some ice cream!

YOU ABSOLUTELY F'ING SUCK!

--Me

[monolayth]

Dear Jester,

Texting me while I was on the way to work about how you are enjoying a beautiful day in key west is just mean.

Pouting

Monolayth.

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Super Hot Rawking Croc Sandals,

http://shop.crocs.com/pc-1174-4-cypr...ction=products

Why did you have to hurt my little feets? That's not nice! I love the look of y'all and the fact that I can reach things on top shelves without having to stand on my tippy toes and sticking my tongue out. (Yes, I actually do that. )

But .. my feets were in a lot of pain. They're feeling better now that I just woke up, but I think I'll be living in my flip-flops from Torrid http://www.torrid.com/torrid/store/p...=1212926059764for the next week or 2.

A sad,
Rum

[iradney]

Dear TTO

*goes all girly mushy* You're brilliant! Getting me a MAC makeover for our anniversary was a brilliant idea! I would have been happy with just that, but NOOOO, you go and buy me a crapload of MAC makeup too!
I'm gonna look so pretty thanks to you! *smothers in kisses*

Loving you lots n lots n lots n lots
Rads

[Misanthropical]

Dear boss,

You know I think the world of you, but it is very hard to not say I told you so! You wanted to take me and my friend off our most excellent assigments and give them to the new people, because it would be easier to train them on what my friend and I are doing than to train them to make their bones first.

I love how you had to give our assigments back, because my friend and I are very good at what we do and no one can get the results we do.

No worries, we would riot if they tried to replace you, so you do have that.


Dear door to door what evers,

It is most impolite to knock on my door and ring my bell over and over at 9 AM. You see, I work the night shift and can now sleep in now that school is out. So, yes, I admit I was more than rude when I answered the door. After all, you woke everyone up. My children and I were all still asleep and did not enjoy being woke up just so you could try to sell us something.

Next time, skip my house or I will have to take a flamethrower to you.


Dear allergies,

You are now so bad that I have to take more medicine than I care to, just so I can walk outside and go to work. I feel like I'm working just to pay for the medicine for my allergies! GRR!


Dear coworkers,

Yes, I am aware that I sound like I'm losing my voice, I'm tired of having to tell you all that I HAVE ALLERGIES and can not help how I sound. Why do you all act like this something new every friggen week! GET AWAY FROM MY DESK! Don't you all have your own work to do? Leave me alone already.