Dear....

[Evil Queen]

Dear Mommy Rum,

This is why I never get a flu shot anymore; they tend to guarantee illness in a lot of cases.
Have some of my Special Chicken Noodle Soup (guaranteed to make you better).

Feel better soon,
-EQ

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear EQ,

Thank you for the Chicken Soup! I love me some chicken soup!

I don't normally get a flu shot either, but my parents have been after me to get it and after my sister got really sick, I figured I did most definitely need one. Now, I'm not so sure I'll be getting one next year.


IDaR

[Cat]

Dear Neptune and Pluto:

Sorry I have been a bad hermie mommy....esp sorry you died Neptune. Pluto, I will take very good care of you and get you new hermie friends soon. You will have a lovely tank and new things to climb one. Just stay healthy.

[Bandit]

Dear Neighbours across the way:

Friday is garbage day. That's when you put out the trash in the morning, and take the empty garbage cans and recycling bins IN after the sun goes down.

The key thing here is not to let your cans and bins blow all around all weekend long, even though you are at home.

Next time I find one wedged under my car, or wake up early on the weekend because of them rattling around, I'm either keeping it, or shredding them to fine little bits and put them in your mailbox.

Thanks a million and have a nice day.

Your fiendly friendly neighbour across the way.

B

[Amethyst Hunter]

Dear Rum and EQ,

My mom has never gotten a flu shot. She refuses to because she believes it makes you sick. I've never gotten one either, and for much the same reason (that, and I just HATE shots of any kind). So don't worry, you're not the only ones not keen on getting poked with the sharpie.

- Your fellow comrade in anti-shots,
AH

--

Dear Body,

YOU SUCK. YOU FAIL. I HATE YOU. You fucking better get that goddamn ultrasound right next time, or I'm gonna grab the nearest spork and do a little pre-emptive surgical removal of my own so I never have to deal with this bullshit again.

And a special hate-out goes to ultrasounding in general - I CAN'T BLOODY HOLD MY BLADDER THAT @#%!#%#!@$^#!$^ING LONG!! So get it right next time, because if this next try fucks up, I am NOT coming back for a third round, and I don't give a flying fuck if I have a damn grapefruit in there! I hate that damned organ anyway so it can rot for all I care.

- Sulkingly yours,
Your pissed-off owner

[Misanthropical]

Dear husband,

I'm feeling very neglected lately. If you don't find some time to spend with me, I will spend it with your brother! Oh wait, your brother makes me want to puke, nevermind. Just spend some time with me!


Dear little guy,

You really are silly on your new medication. You seem so much happier and have more energy. That makes mommy happy, because I want you to be happy. Plus, I get more kisses out the deal, but we'll keep that between us, mmkay?


Dear big guy,

You have no idea how much you are helping me out with all you do around the house for me. I really appreciate that you go and get your little brother, because I'm not there to do it.

I'm glad to see you two being the best of buds and hope you two keep that when you are grown men.


Dear daughter,

Leaving your father a voice mail to say you are coming home late does not count, because for one, I don't hear it, so all I know is the boys haven't seen you, which makes me worry and I don't like to worry. Second, your father hadn't heard it yet, so he didn't have any clue where you were either.

Yes, I did say only to call me at work in case of emergency, but me worrying is a HUGE ASS EMERGENCY, got it? Pull something like that again and I will ground you till you are 50!

I love you, so I worry. It's a mom thing.


Dear BossMan,

Have you seen that I do at least ten times the work Whiner does? Do you see that I don't spend all my time updating my personal web page, like Whiner does?

Did you notice she tried twice tonight to act like she was working by bugging the shit out of me?

Do I have to be a total fuckup before I get more money than her? She doesn't have a single bill to pay, no rent, no car payment and she pays nothing for her food. So, why does she get more pay? Doesn't she get enough out of my taxes? How about sharing the wealth!

If you would pay me more (a lot more) than her I would actually do more work, but I'm not motivated to do that right now. Plus, if I were given a raise, my husband would quit his pissy job and would have more time to spend with me.

So, right now, I'm seeing you as the person who is responsible for my husband not having any time to spend with me. You don't want to be seen as that person, so go beg, borrow or steal and get me a damn raise! Stop being a fuck head!

Oh yeah, my friend is really pissed about it too. Trust me, dude, you don't want to see her pissed off. She is from New York and I think she has to kill who ever she is pissed at, something to do with the rules of being from New York, which is why I'm always nice to her, well that and she is my ride to work.

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear Becks--

You are more then welcome.

I'd do it again.

--Sunshine

************************************

Dear Mom--

I am soooooooooooo very sorry.

I know you know I didn't mean for it to happen.

It's still my fault. I should have kept better track of things.



**************************************

Dear bank--

You suck.

I better "only" get one overdraft fee.

Jerks.

--a very pissed off me

*************************************

Dear D--

Where are you? I hope you aren't/ haven't been in the hospital again.



--Hun

***************************************

Dear Rooks--

For the love of God, QUIT throwing up!

I know you aren't sick, so what's the deal?!?

--"Mom"

*****************************************

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear C and EQ,

STOP VOLUNTEERING ME TO DO STUFF!

-Poutingly Yours,
Daz Mel

[Becks]

Dear Rooks,

Please be a happy and healthy kitty. I love you to pieces.

"Auntie" Becks.

[iradney]

Dear Mis

I think you and I should go spend some "girl"* time and let our SO's see what they're missing out on.



*heads out of gutters guys! I mean gabbing and stuff!

Rads

Dear TTO

I know the last half of this year sucked. I know we're both struggling at the moment. I know we love each other. That's why I'm really hoping you'll man up and propose NEXT year, even though we talked about it happening THIS year. Life happens, I know, and it gets in the way, but if we keep waiting for "the right time" "when we have enough money" we'll NEVER get engaged let alone married.

I don't want to leave you, but if you can't show you're willing to make a legal, concrete committment to me, I might very well have to.

Love you, but wish you'd make a move already
Rads

[crazylegs]

Dear Rads TTO,

Uh, you haven't asked yet? Are you completely bonkers? Without being too rude, ask her; I'm sure she'll say yes so what's the problem here...?

Confusedly

Crazylegs

Dear Self.

You might want to get up a bit earlier tomorrow, 11:00hrs doesn't really leave you with a lot of time to get everything done (remember you've still got that bloody tux to sort out!)

Annoyed

Self.

[Evil Queen]

Dear... who-will-read,

At the beginning of today, I had two interviews to go to. Both went great and both companies want me. While I was waiting for the second interview, I got a call from another company and THEY want to interview me.
So this morning I had 3 great interviews. Now that I'm at home and just sitting down to lunch, I get another call.
I have yet ANOTHER interview today. So the breakdown goes:
9am Hotel Choice 1 (unknown hours at this point, will find out tomorrow)
10am Hotel Choice 2 (18-20 hours a week)
11am Hotel Choice 3 (32-40 hours a week)
3.30 pm Hotel Choice 4 (not interviewed yet)

Choices,
-EQ

Dear C and EQ,

STOP VOLUNTEERING ME TO DO STUFF!

-Poutingly Yours,
Daz Mel

Dear RW,
What'd I volunteer you for?
-EQ

[crazylegs]

Dear S.

What's going on? I don't know where I am from one minute to the next, sometimes you're acting like I'm the greates invention since sliced bread, then the other you're acting like I'm a mere nuisance.

I'm getting a little tired already, and am wondering how the hell this has gone belly up before it's even got off the ground!

Yours, puzzled

Crazylegs.

[AdminAssistant]

Dear BoyThing,

Smoker (strike one!)
Refuse to come to my place, I must go to yours (strike two!)
Obvious loss of interest (Steeeriiiike Three!)

Also, I regret to inform you that you have failed the 'friends' inspection. I suggest we now go our seperate ways.

~ Your former GirlThing

Random friend,

so..that guy you were telling me about??

[crazylegs]

Dear Self.

How'd you do it? You always go from 'pre relationship euphoria' to 'post relationship awkwardness' without any of the fun stuff inbetween? How the fuck do you do it...?

Yours (resigned to be single)

Crazylegs.